Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday February 21, 2012. Why? 

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why isn’t  phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there flotation devices under  plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why do they put Braille dots on the  keypad of the drive-up ATM?

You know how most packages say “Open here”.  What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else”?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

You know that little  indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole  plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you transport  something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by  ship, it’s called cargo?

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY

“A man in Ireland was arrested with more than 500 pounds of marijuana. So I guess there is a little pot at the end of the rainbow.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Here’s a great story: A guy in Alaska goes fishing and he catches a 90-year-old fish, a 90-year-old fish. You know, I look at it this way,  if I want a 90-year-old fish, I’ll just order the seafood platter at Red Lobster.” -Dave Letterman

“The Navy tested a high power laser beam to help fight pirates. There’s nothing the pirates can do to defend themselves against this laser unless they buy a mirror.” -Jimmy Kimmel

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury selection process. First a computer randomly selects a few hundred citizens from the entire county to report for jury duty on a particular day. Then another computer assigns 40 of those present to a courtroom. Then the 40 names are placed into a drum, and a dozen names are pulled. During jury selection for one trial, the judge asked potential Juror No. 1 if there was any reason he could not be a fair and impartial juror. “There may be,” he replied. “Juror No. 12 is my ex-wife, and if we were on the same jury, I guarantee we would not be able to agree on anything.” Both were excused.   ___________________________________________________________________________________________

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘I think I’ll eat your heart.’

Answer: Red Dragon. This is said by Hannibal (Anthony Hopkins) to  Will Graham (Edward Norton), in this prequel to ‘The Silence of the  Lambs’.

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘It vexes me. I’m terribly vexed.’

_________________________________________________________________________________

Monday’s Quizzler is………. “SI KIM BI EQGVG MQG DJMQ HJT WGJS, BI AKCMGJS EQGVG MQGVG AC KI DJMQ, JKS WGJUG J MVJAW.” -VJWDQ EJWSI GHGVCIK
“HICM DGIDWG WGJVK LT ILCGVUJMAIK, JKS MQGVG JVG MQG YGE EQI WGJVK LT GNDGVAHGKMJMAIK. JKS MQGK MQGVG JVG MQICG EQI JOMRJWWT MIROQ MQG YAVG MI CGG AY AM’C VGJWWT QIM.” -JKIKTHIRC

ANSWER: “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path, and leave a trail.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually touch the fire to see if it’s really hot.” -Anonymous

 

Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….

What phrase does this represent?

 

__________________________________________________________________________________________ Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org. www.hopeBUILD.org. www.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/http://www.simplycake.biz/

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