Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Wednesday, November 16, 2011. The Top 10 Signs Your Dentist Is Crazy….
1. Keeps trying to sell you extra teeth.
2. His restrooms are labeled “Bleeders” and “Non-Bleeders”
3. Pumps gas into the waiting room in advance.
4. Does an extensive search for cavities…dental and body.
5. He…ummm..licks his tools clean.
6. Gets mad when you mention that 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed line.
7. When you come to from being under the gas, he’s quick to insist that you wore your pants backwards when you came into his office.
8. Wears a necklace made of human teeth.
9. Has a grindstone in the office for his tools.
10. Insists that a Novocaine shot is something that he’ll buy you at a bar if you just go out with him.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a wonderful wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! ____________________________________________________________________________________________________

 QUOTES OF THE DAY….

 “According to ‘Consumer Research’ more people are drinking soda for breakfast. It’s become the new orange juice. Maybe in the trailer park where Yoo-hoo is the new champagne!” –Jay Leno

“According to a new study that just came out, smoking pot regularly does not lead to harder drugs. In fact the study shows that smoking pot regularly does not lead to doing much of anything.” –Conan O’Brien

“This is little strange. A couple in England named their new daughter Kia because she was delivered in the back seat of a Kia. No one was happier than her older brother � Hospital Bed.” -Jimmy Fallon

“The main dangers in this life are the people who want to change everything – or nothing.” – Nancy Astor

“To have doubted one’s own first principles is the mark of a civilized man.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

“Just think of the tragedy of teaching children not to doubt.” – Clarence Darrow

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

The other day I was eating in an Italian restaurant when I accidentally spilled some spaghetti sauce on my favorite white sweater. I wasn’t too distressed, though, because Mr. Wong down on High Street has been doing my laundry for years, and I knew that he could remove just about any stain and get it out like it’d never been there. So I took the sweater down to Wong’s Laundry and dropped it off; Mr. Wong said he’d probably be able to have it cleaned by Thursday. So on Thursday afternoon after work I stopped by Wong’s again. Mr. Wong looked quite distressed when he saw me. He brought out the sweater and, apologizing profusely, explained that somehow this stain was beyond even his power to expunge. And sure enough, though fainter than before, there was still a distinct red stain on the sweater. In an attempt to make up for his failure, Mr. Wong offered to send the sweater to his brother across town, who had been in the laundry business for an even longer time, and who might have a clue as to the method of removal of this extraordinarily persistent stain.  The elder Wong brother would rush it through at no extra charge, and should have it looking as white and clean as new by Friday. So on Friday I went back to Wong’s to pick up my sweater, but when I arrived, Mr. Wong regretfully informed me that his brother, too, had failed to remove the red blotch. “No charge,” said Wong, “but you must take sweater elsewhere to clean. The Moral: … Two Wongs cannot make a white.” ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? “I am a cartoon mouse wearing high-heel running shoes.” Answer: Stay Tuned. Eugene Levy, John Ritter, Jeffrey Jones, and Pam Dawber come together for an ultimate couch potato spoof. This particular line is said by Pam Dawber after she and John Ritter are sucked into the next channel which happens to be a cartoon.

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? “The last time I trusted a dame was in Paris in 1940, she said she was going out to get a bottle of wine. Two hours later the Germans marched into France.”

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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “Why did you have to go, away from home, me love”.

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “My heart melted into the ground, Found something true.. ________________________________________________________________________________________________

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……

 Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with an extra letter added somewhere (example: band & brand).
1) a gemstone & a sport
2) demon & acquaintance
3) moment & three times
4) obvious & persevering
ANSWER:1) ruby & rugby, 2) fiend & friend, 3) trice & thrice, 4) patent & patient
  
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…..
Seven letters are we, Four different words we make. Guess us or be ridiculed;Your reputation’s at stake.
The first has pictures, Paintings and such. The second causes sneezing, From ragweed or dust. The third is an adverb,
It’s hard to explain, It’s the same as immensely, But it’s much more plain. If you can act like a king, this word you will sing.
These clues are sparse, This riddle may be tough. But if you are smart, Then it will be enough.
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Answers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 
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Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday, November 15, 2011. Business…… 

Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average.
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Entropy has us outnumbered.
Error is often more earnest than truth.
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Even if the grass is greener on the other side: they, like you, still have to cut it.
Even paranoids have enemies.
Every silver lining has a cloud around it.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo
 

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! _________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

QUOTES OF THE DAY…. 

“Apple is working on new 3-D technology that can be seen without special glasses. But it’s not ready yet, so if you want to experience 3-D without having to wear 3-D glasses, you have to go outside and look at something.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Scientists in California are developing a high-tech device that will tell obese people if they are eating too much and not exercising enough. That device is called ‘a scale.'” -Conan O’Brien

“A huge 74-foot tall spruce is the new Christmas tree at NBC’s Rockefeller Center. And in typical NBC fashion, the tree will be decorated, lit up for a few weeks, and then canceled.” -Jay Leno

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000 worth of life insurance. But he had one last question. “Now,” he said, “what do I have to do to collect?” ________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? “It’s so stimulating being your hat.”Answer: Labyrinth. Before Sarah (Jennifer Connelly) rescues Ludo, she is given advice from a wise man whose hat argues with him constantly. His hat looks like a bird of some sort. The voice of the wise man is provided by Frank Oz.

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? “I am a cartoon mouse wearing high-heel running shoes.”
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Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “Excuse me miss lady, how ya doin’, your body lookin’ right, you’re type I like and, I’m pursuin’.” Answer: lady. These lyrics are from the song “Get It Shawty” by Lloyd.

Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “Why did you have to go, away from home, me love”.
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Monday’s Quizzler is…… 
Two legs sat on three legs by four legs. One leg knocked two legs off three legs. Two legs hit four legs with three legs.
What happened?
ANSWER: A farmer (2 legs) sat on a 3-legged stool beside a cow (4 legs) in preparation for milking the cow. The cow kicked the farmer off the stool which made the farmer angry so he hit the cow with the stool. 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with an extra letter added somewhere (example: band & brand).
1) a gemstone & a sport
2) demon & acquaintance
3) moment & three times
4) obvious & persevering
 
MONDAYS QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! BRILLANT JOB BANKS!
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Answers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 
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Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Monday, November 14, 2011. Life……

I had the most amazing weekend! After living the life of a single man, my oldest son got married Saturday! I was studing him throughout all of the events and at one point I saw his knees buckle just a bit.  The look on his face seemed for one single minute to scream “RUN”. But he held his ground and stayed the course. It’s amazing to watch this man whose diapers I used to change as he begins to start his family! A lot of his friends that he grew up with were there as well, his rat pack of little boys who had also become men. I remember them as they were, little people who terrorized everthing in my back yard. One year they even killed the patio table, shattered it into a thousand pieces, I remember hearing it’s death scream and running outside only to find my the boys standing stiff at attention having already rehearshed their lines…I don’t know nothing, I didn’t see anthing and I didn’t hear anything! Life with it’s ups and downs, is incredibly funny and will bring tears to your eyes as you live and learn.  By the way I never did find out who broke that patio table, but I’ll take the little boys who have grown up into men that I can be proud of instead, that’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

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QUOTES OF THE DAY….

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.  George Bernard Shaw

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. Bob Hope

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers. Kevin Nealon

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. Yogi Berra

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.” Claude Pepper

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Lana Turner

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it. Jerry Seinfeld

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice. Bill Cosby

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G U A R A N T E D  T O  M A K E  Y O U  L A F F….

Penny was a hard working, conscientious girl, who lived on her own. Her dream in life was to go on an ocean cruise around the world. So she scrimped, and she saved, and she saved, and she scrimped until finally, one day, she had enough money to go on her ocean cruise. She booked passage on a cruise liner – first class all the way… The cruise started off in a grandiose scale, dancing and parties every night. But Penny was a cautious girl, so she never drank, but just danced the night away.  One night, after they had been at sea for a week, Penny was walking back to her cabin, when the heel on her left shoe broke throwing her off balance. If that wasn’t enough, the ship chose that moment to tilt to the left. As a result, Penny was thrown overboard. A hue and a cry were immediately raised, and after about five minutes they found Penny. Hauling her aboard, the ship’s crew realized that it was too late, poor Penny was dead.   Normally, they would have done a burial at sea, but as I said before, Penny was a very conscientious girl, and had written a will. In it, she specified that she wished for her body to be cremated, and kept in a jar on her parent’s fireplace mantel. Her wishes were fulfilled, which just goes to show you that a Penny saved is a Penny urned

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? “In case your aim is any better than your judgment.” Answer: The Last of the Mohicans. Spoken by Daniel Day-Lewis (Hawkeye) to Steven Waddington (Maj. Duncan Heyward) just after the first battle between the three warriors (Uncas, Chingachgook, and Hawkeye) and the Huron leader, Magua. As the battles nears its end, Maj. Heyward takes aim at the three men who just saved his life.

Modays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? “It’s so stimulating being your hat.” _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “Paper bags and plastic hearts, all are belongings in shopping carts…”  Answer: bags. These lyrics are from the song “The Great Escape” by Boys Like Girls.

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “Excuse me miss lady, how ya doin’, your body lookin’ right, you’re type I like and, I’m pursuin’.” _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Friday’s Quizzler is……

Inside each set of the following words, there are a pair of smaller words. By putting & between them, lo & behold, you’ll make a familiar phrase. For example, “Thighbone/Swallowtail” conceals “High & Low.”
1. Skyrocketing/Trolleyman
2. Thermometer/Apoplexy
3. Delaware/Bordering
4. Surprised/Trashiness
5. Throughout/Stumblebum
ANSWER: 1. Rock & Roll, 2. Mom & Pop, 3. Law & Order, 4. Rise & Shine, 5. Rough & Tumble
Monday’s Quizzler is….
Two legs sat on three legs by four legs. One leg knocked two legs off three legs. Two legs hit four legs with three legs.
What happened?
FRIDAY QUIZZMASTER IF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS!  BRILLANT JOB BANKS!
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Answers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Friday, November 11, 2011. Gender………

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes-there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change & she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are 2 times when a man doesn’t understand a woman: before marriage & after.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Friday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
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q u o t e s o f t h e d a y“According to new census data, Falls Church, Va. is the best-educated area in the U.S. I tried to find out how New York did, but I couldn’t find anyone who knowed.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A new food bill has been signed into law. It’s part of our war against donuts. If we’re not vigilant, the donuts will win.” -Craig Ferguson

“7-Eleven has announced that they are going to start selling their own brand of wine. This is for people who find the idea of buying wine at Walmart too pretentious.” -Jay Leno

A word to the wise ain’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice.

I am not the boss of my house. I don’t know when I lost it. I don’t know if I ever had it. But I have seen the boss’s job and I do not want it.

People will frighten you about a graduation….They use words you don’t hear often… “And we wish you Godspeed.” It is a warning, Godpeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by “survival of the fittest.”

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own parenthood, but it didn’t because parenting can be learned only by people who have no children.

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.

Gray hair is God’s graffiti.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. 
G U A R A N T E D  T O  M A K E  Y O U  L A F F….

Signs warning of closed roadways are frequently ignored in rural Minnesota, so highway workers barely took notice when a woman drove past their sign and over the hill to the trench they had dug in the middle of the road. The workers explained the detour route to town, and she went on her way.

They were surprised, however, to see the same woman coming toward them from town a couple of hours later. “Oh,” she said distractedly as she again pulled up next to the trench crew. “Is it closed in this direction too?”
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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? “On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most depraved act of theater known to man, one being your average Friday night run through at the Lomax household, I’d say not to be a modest, Maryann and I got it on at about seven.” Answer:The Devil’s Advocate. Part of five plus minute speech given by Al Pacino, playing John Milton, to Keanu Reeves (Kevin Lomax) at the climax of the film in John Milton’s (Pacino) office. Kevin Lomax is confronting his boss about the acts supposedly done to his wife whom is played by Charlize Theron. Knowing he is guilty he admits to the violent assault with this very provocative response.

Fridays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? “In case your aim is any better than your judgment.”

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist.  “It took too long for you to call back and normally I would just forget that, except for the fact that it was my birthday!  Answer: These lyrics are from the song “Potential Break-Up” by Aly & Aj.

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “Paper bags and plastic hearts, all are belongings in shopping carts…”

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Thursday’s Quizzler is……
Inside each set of the following words, there are a pair of smaller words. By putting & between them, lo & behold, you’ll make a familiar phrase. For example, “Thighbone/Swallowtail” conceals “High & Low.”
1. Gulliver/Clearness
2. Tragicomedy/Pentagon
3. Chinchilla/Magdalene
4. Terrestrial/Ecoterrorist
5. Thundershower/Intellectual
ANSWER:  1. Live & Learn, 2. Come & Go, 3. Hill & Dale, 4. Trial & Error, 5. Show & Tell
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Inside each set of the following words, there are a pair of smaller words. By putting & between them, lo & behold, you’ll make a familiar phrase. For example, “Thighbone/Swallowtail” conceals “High & Low.”
1. Skyrocketing/Trolleyman
2. Thermometer/Apoplexy
3. Delaware/Bordering
4. Surprised/Trashiness
5. Throughout/Stumblebum
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Answers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday, November 10, 2011. Ponderings….. 

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What’s another word for thesaurus?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a Wonderful Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

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q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

If an article is attractive, or useful, or inexpensive, they’ll stop making it tomorrow; if it’s all three, they stopped making it yesterday. Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure. Murphy’s Law

If there is something you must do and you cannot do it, you cannot do anything else. Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

How is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person? François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. Erma Bombeck

I tell you this, and I tell you plain:
What you have done, you will do again;
You will bite your tongue, careful or not,
Upon the already-bitten spot.
Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Author Unknown

A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist. Franklin P. Jones

G U A R A N T E D  T O  M A K E  Y O U  L A F F….

Bill was short of money and was out looking for a job. Pastor Nelson offered Bill $500 to buy paint and paint the church. Well Bill went out bough some paint and started painting the church. He discovered that he was using more paint than he expected so the added some thinner to the paint, well it is still covered but not as well as it did at first. Well he still was using more paint than he wanted to use so he added still more thinner to the paint. Well the paint was too thin cover well but Bill still kept on painting. All of a sudden there was a bolt of lighting and a loud voice from the sky proclaimed, “Repaint and thin no more”

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? “Well this is not a boat accident! It wasn’t any propeller, it wasn’t any coral reef, and it wasn’t Jack the Ripper!” Answer: Jaws. 1975. Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) says this quote to Sheriff Brody after examining the remains of the body found on shore. The end of this quote is “It was a shark!” This movie is a lot like “Rocky” in the sense that they are terrific movies that are probably underrated today because of the many sequels, most of them very bad, that followed each of them.

Thusdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? “On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most depraved act of theater known to man, one being your average Friday night run through at the Lomax household, I’d say not to be a modest, Maryann and I got it on at about seven.”

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Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “I’m tired of living in the dark”  Answer: Away From The Sun

This song came from the band’s 2002 album “Away From The Sun”. This band is made up of Brad Arnold for vocals, Matt Roberts on guitar, Chris Henderson on rhythm guitar, Todd Harrell as bass, and Greg Upchurch as drums. Did you know that this band formed in Escatawpa, Mississippi, in 1994?

Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “It took too long for you to call back and normally I would just forget that, except for the fact that it was my birthday!

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is……
Justin Case and Auntie Bellum are fellow con artists who deliver coded messages to each other to communicate. Recently Auntie Bellum was put in jail for stealing a rare and expensive diamond. Only a few days after this, Justin Case sent her a friendly letter asking her how she was. On the inside of the envelope of the letter, he hid a code. Yesterday, Auntie Bellum escaped and left the envelope and the letter inside the jail cell. The police did some research and found the code on the inside of the envelope, but they haven’t been able to crack it. Could you help the police find out what the message is?  This is the code: llwatchawtfeclocklnisksundialcirbetimersool
ANSWER: The message was “loose bricks in left wall.” The message was put backward with words related to time in between.  This is how the message looks when separated: ll watch awtfe clock lnisk sundial cirbe timer sool.  If you take out watch, clock, sundial, and timer, this is what is left:
llawtfelniskcirbesool.   Look at this backwards and this is what you have: loose bricks in left wall
Auntie Bellum took out the bricks and escaped in the night. Then, she put the bricks back where they were.
Thursday’s Quizzler is….

Inside each set of the following words, there are a pair of smaller words. By putting & between them, lo & behold, you’ll make a familiar phrase. For example, “Thighbone/Swallowtail” conceals “High & Low.”

1. Gulliver/Clearness
2. Tragicomedy/Pentagon
3. Chinchilla/Magdalene
4. Terrestrial/Ecoterrorist
5. Thundershower/Intellectual

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Answers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org. ww.hopeBUILD.org. www.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/ http://www.comf5.com/eucman

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Wednesday, November 9, 2011.  Rules for Eating Chocolate…. 

1. If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.
2. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
3. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
4. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.
5. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
6. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?
7. Money talks. Chocolate sings.
8. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
9. Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A: Because no one wants to quit.
10. Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.
11. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?
12. If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you? 

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a Wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

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q u o t e s o f t h e d a y


“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”
– Steven Wright

“Creativity is a drug I cannot live without.”
– Cecil B. DeMille

“Truth is what stands the test of experience.”
– Albert Einstein

“Well, a new study has found that having a cat makes you 40 percent less likely to die of a heart attack. Not that the cat could care less either way, really.” –Jay Leno

“Wal-Mart is planning to reduce its healthcare plan for new employees. Which explains why today, my greeter was like, ‘Hello, welcome to Wal-Mart. Would you mind checking out this mole?'” -Jimmy Fallon

“According to a new study, children who are spanked are twice as likely as those that aren’t spanked to get into fights and destroy things � which is probably why they get spanked in the first place.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D  T O  M A K E  Y O U  L A F F….

A man goes into a restaurant, sits down at a table and an attractive young waitress comes for his order. He gives her a smile and says, “I want a quickie.”  She turns red in the face and ahems, “Sir, I don’t know what kind of restaurant you’re used to eating in, but I can assure you you’re not going to get a quickie here!”

“How disappointing,” the man replied. “Could you ask the chef to make an exception?”

“He doesn’t have anything to do with it!” says the waitress indignantly.

“Hmmm,” do you know anywhere around here where I could get a quickie?”

“I’m SURE I don’t know,” answers the waitress loudly.

A patron from the next table leans over and taps the man on the shoulder, “I think it’s pronounced QUICHE.”

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???  “Only I didn’t say ‘fudge’. I said THE word, the big one, the queen mother of dirty words – the ‘F-dash-dash-dash’ word.” Answer: A Christmas Story. The very funny story of Ralphie and his quest to get a BB gun for Christmas, despite warnings from almost everyone “you’ll shoot your eye out”. This particular quote comes when Ralphie says “Oh…”while trying to help his father change a flat tire, and accidentally spills all of the lug nuts in the snow. This movie is full of very funny scenes, like one of Ralphie’s friends sticking his tongue to a flag pole, and getting it stuck there, during recess at school in the winter.

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? “Well this is not a boat accident! It wasn’t any propeller, it wasn’t any coral reef, and it wasn’t Jack the Ripper!”

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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “No matter how hard I try, you’re never satisfied”? Answer: “Home” is from Three Days’ Grace’s first album, self-titled and released in 2003. The band is made up of Adam Gontier on vocals, Brad Walst with bass, and Neil Sanderson on drums. Did you know Three Days’ Grace was previously named Groundswell?

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “I’m tired of living in the dark”

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is……
Inside each set of the following words, there is a pair of smaller words. By putting & between them, lo & behold, you’ll make a familiar phrase. For example, “Thighbone/Swallowtail” conceals “High & Low.”
1. Firecracker/Misconstruing
2. Blockbuster/Doohickey
3. Shunting/Bespeckled
4. Proliferation/Climbable
5. Heartstrings/Consciences
ANSWER:  1. Rack & Ruin, 2. Lock & Key, 3. Hunt & Peck, 4. Life & Limb, 5. Arts & Sciences
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….

Justin Case and Auntie Bellum are fellow con artists who deliver coded messages to each other to communicate. Recently Auntie Bellum was put in jail for stealing a rare and expensive diamond. Only a few days after this, Justin Case sent her a friendly letter asking her how she was. On the inside of the envelope of the letter, he hid a code. Yesterday, Auntie Bellum escaped and left the envelope and the letter inside the jail cell. The police did some research and found the code on the inside of the envelope, but they haven’t been able to crack it. Could you help the police find out what the message is?

This is the code:
llwatchawtfeclocklnisksundialcirbetimersool

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! SUPER QUIZZING BANKS!
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Answers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org. ww.hopeBUILD.org. www.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/ http://www.comf5.com/eucman

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday, November 8, 2011.  Internet Crime Heroes……. 

The Top 10 Superheroes Needed To Fight Cybercrime

  1. Inspector Gadget
  2. Chief Wiggum from the Simpsons
  3. Captain America On Line
  4. The Wonder Barbi Twins
  5. The Silver Surfer
  6. The XXX Men(they handle strictly cyber porn)
  7. Up in the sky, wearing glasses, a big letter E on his chest and a “Nets”cape, its Bill Gates as GEEKMAN!!!
  8. DBase Ventura
  9. Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby with the Mystery Machine( Jinkies, there goes another hacker!!)
  10. Who else knows the web better than Spiderman???

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
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q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“I have a strict policy. I will not and do not publicize unsubstantiated rumors about anyone � unless they’re very funny.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A new survey found that 46 percent of doctors have used Google or Yahoo to diagnose their patients’ symptoms. Yeah, last time I got sick, my doctor was like, ‘I’m sorry to tell you this, but you have ‘Server Not Responding.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“A Los Angeles woman claims she has Justin Bieber’s love child. The woman will have to take a paternity test, then everyone will know once and for all who the real father is: Arnold Schwarzenegger.” -Craig Ferguson

G U A R A N T E D  T O  M A K E  Y O U  L A F F….

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what they had learned.
Susie said, “He was born in a manger.”
Bobby said, “He threw the money changers out of the temple.”
Little Johnny said, “He has a red pickup truck but he doesn’t know how to drive it.”
Curious, the teacher asked, “And where did you learn that, Johnny?”
“From my Daddy,” said Johnny. “Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, ‘Jesus Christ! Why don’t you learn how to drive?'”

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? “Women weaken legs. Women weaken legs.”Answer: A Christmas Story.  The very funny story of Ralphie and his quest to get a BB gun for Christmas, despite warnings from almost everyone “you’ll shoot your eye out”. This particular quote comes when Ralphie says “Oh…”while trying to help his father change a flat tire, and accidentally spills all of the lug nuts in the snow. This movie is full of very funny scenes, like one of Ralphie’s friends sticking his tongue to a flag pole, and getting it stuck there, during recess at school in the winter.

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? “Only I didn’t say ‘fudge’. I said THE word, the big one, the queen mother of dirty words – the ‘F-dash-dash-dash’ word.”

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Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “So many kids but I only see you, and I don’t think you notice me”? Answer: Pretty In Punk. This song is from Fall Out Boy’s first CD “Fall Out Boy’s Evening Out With Your Girl”. Did you know that Fall Out Boy didn’t have a name for their band until one night when they asked a crowd that they were playing for what their name should be? Someone yelled out Fall Out Boy and it stuck.

Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “No matter how hard I try, you’re never satisfied”?

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Monday’s Quizzler is….

This word has 10 letters namely  1234567890
1234 – carries heredity
456 – is a period of time
567 – is a pest
and 890 – is a charged particle
What is the word?
ANSWER: GENERATION
1234 carries heredity – gene
456 – is a period of time – era
567- is a pest – rat
890 is a charged particle – ion
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……

Inside each set of the following words, there is a pair of smaller words. By putting & between them, lo & behold, you’ll make a familiar phrase. For example, “Thighbone/Swallowtail” conceals “High & Low.”

1. Firecracker/Misconstruing
2. Blockbuster/Doohickey
3. Shunting/Bespeckled
4. Proliferation/Climbable
5. Heartstrings/Consciences

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! SUPER QUIZZING BANKS!
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Answers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org. ww.hopeBUILD.org. www.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/ http://www.comf5.com/eucman