If cats and dogs didn’t have fur would we still pet them?
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?
Why do they call it “chili” if it’s hot?
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Friday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
If an article is attractive, or useful, or inexpensive, they’ll stop making it tomorrow; if it’s all three, they stopped making it yesterday. Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure. Murphy’s Law
If there is something you must do and you cannot do it, you cannot do anything else. Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960
How is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person? François Duc de La Rochefoucauld
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. Erma Bombeck
I tell you this, and I tell you plain: What you have done, you will do again;You will bite your tongue, careful or not,
Upon the already-bitten spot. Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960
G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s
Harvey’s grandfather clock suddenly stops working right one day, so he loads it into his van and takes it to a clock repair shop. In the shop is a little old man who insists he is Swiss, and has a heavy German accent. He asks Harvey, “Vat sims to be ze problem?” Harvey says, “I’m not sure, but it doesn’t go ‘tick-tocktick -tock’ anymore. Now it just goes ‘tick…tick…tick.'” The old man says, “Mmm-Hm!” and steps behind the counter, where he rummages around a bit. He emerges with a huge flashlight and walks over the grandfather clock. He turns the flashlight on, and shines it directly into the clocks face. Then he says in a menacing voice, “Ve haf vays of making you tock!”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘Why don’t you put her in charge?’Answer:Aliens. Hudson (Bill Paxton) when complaining about Ripley using Newt as an example.
Fridays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘It doesn’t matter, I don’t like my job…and I don’t think I’m gonna go anymore.’
Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “Let’s get it on till the early morn….Shake that thing…” Answer: Sean Paul
“Get Busy” is by Sean Paul.
Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got…”
Run, Hit, Jump = Volume Level 9
Dictionary = Volume Level 2
Explanation:Run, Hit, Jump are all actions and the volume level for them is higher that than of Dictionary which simply contains a whole lot of words. Hence you get Actions speak louder than words.
A recently PAROLED man named Ari was going to ROB A PEARL boat of all of its FIG FARE. The boat was just off of the SHORE. He put on his BALM and donned his TOGA to SNEAK aboard. ARI GOT ALL of the NEAT HELP he needed from a safety pin that kept his toga IN PLACE.