|1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are
meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Or have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, or in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That’s why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when lights are out, they are invisible. Why doesn’t Buick rhyme with ‘quick?
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace
I am outta here, Eucman!
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Personally I’m always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.”- Sir Winston Churchill
“You can’t find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.” – Carrie Fisher
“Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves.” – Rudyard Kipling
“Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: “Basement?” –Rodney Dangerfield
We were shopping for clothes when my 13-year-old daughter spotted a hat with “Guinness” written on it. She put it on and
proclaimed, “Look! I’m a genius!”
“Your hair may be brushed, but your mind’s untidy. You’ve had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that
lost sensation. You’re sunk from a riot of relaxation.” –Ogden Nash
G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s
Manning the computer help desk for the local school district was my first job. And though I was just an intern, I took the job very seriously. But not every caller took me seriously. “Can I talk to a real person?” a caller asked. “I am real,” I said. “Oh, I’m sorry,” the caller said. “That was rude of me. What I meant to
say was, could I talk to someone who actually knows something?”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘This town need an enema!’ Answer: ‘Batman’. This is one of many fantastic lines that Jack Nicholson had as The Joker.
Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from?? ‘Congratu-fricking-lations.’
Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. And finally where are “I know nothing
of your kind, and I won’t reveal your evil mind,” Answer: “Breath”- Breaking Benjamin. “I see nothing in your eyes, and the more I see the less I like. Is it over yet, in my head? I know nothing of your kind, and I won’t reveal your evil mind.” “Breath” is from “Phobia”, which was released in 2006. Their other CDs include “Saturate” and “We Are
Not Alone”. The band members are Benjamin Burnley (vocals, guitar), Mark Klepaski (bass), Aaron Fink (guitar), and Chad Szeliga (drums).
Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “Yesterday my life was duller, now
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
Which is the odd one out? Boundaries, Cancerous, Librarian, Scorpions, Chameleon, Keyboards
Answer: “Keyboards”. All the other words contain names from the 12 signs of the zodiac: bound-Aries, Cancer-ous, Libra-rian, Scorpio-ns, chame-Leo-n
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…
Unscramble these four word jumbles and use the instructions given below them to form the name of a
country which is a jumble of those letters.
1. KERWC. Take the 1st and 2nd letter.
2. LZEA. Take the 1st, 2nd and the 4th letter.
3. KURNT. Take the 1st and the 4th letter.
4. IASB. Take the 2nd and 3rd letter.
5. SUKD. Take the 1st and 3rd letter.
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! BRILLIANT SOLVING JOB
Answers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to
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