Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Monday, June 27, 2011. Feline Physics Laws…….

Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some
outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to
change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to
the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in
which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just
taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as
uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Elongation

A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that
has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction
A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount
of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for her to do
something.

First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore,
use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT
UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

q u o t es o f t h e d a y

A successful marriage requires falling in love many
times, always with the same person.
Mignon McLoughlin

The married are those who have taken the terrible risk of intimacy and, having
taken it, know life without intimacy to be impossible. Carolyn Heilbrun

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. Ambrose Bierce

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve
experienced pain and bought jewelry. Rita Rudner

A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished. Zsa Zsa Gabor

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about
it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. Groucho Marx

To keep your marriage brimming,With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re
wrong admit it; Whenever you’re right shut up. Ogden Nash

What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are
joined for life – to strengthen each other in all labour, to rest on each other
in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other
in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting? George Eliot,
Adam Bede

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their
mother. Theodore Hesburgh

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to
eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their
friends. Homer. The Odyssey.
G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ”No sense pulling up the  entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he said to himself. He proceeded to get
out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ”Here,” she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ”I found them in the hallway.” ”Now,” she said, ”if only I could find my parakeet.”

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Friday’s  Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is
this quote from??? …how’s your wife and my kids?’ Answer: Major League. Talk about great
one liners, this movie has them all! This quote is said by a player to Jake Taylor as he comes up to hit

Mondays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??’ ‘I’m gonna…I’m gonna…I’m gonna…Go!’

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Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “There are addictions to feed and there are mouths to pay, so you bargain with the devil that you’re okay for today.” Answer: Jewel. This lyric is from Jewel’s debut single “Who Will Save your Soul”, off the 1996 album “Pieces Of You”.

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “And I’d give up forever to touch you, ’cause I know that you’d feel me somehow, you’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be and I don’t want to go home right now.”

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Friday’s Quizzler is..

Each of the clues below describe the name of a candy. Can you name them? Example: Galaxy would be a Milky Way.

1. Sign of affection
2. Favorite day for working people
3. Can’t hold on to anything
4. Famous swashbuckling trio
5. Sun explosions

Answer: 1. Kisses, 2.
Payday, 3. Butterfingers, 4. 3 Musketeers, 5. Starbursts

Monday’s Quizzler is…

Unscramble the words
below and follow the instructions in parentheses.

1. REDE (Take the 3rd letter)
2. SAVEREB (Take the 4th letter)
3. HERSWS (Take the 5th letter)
4. OSINB (Take the 4th letter)
5. SOMEO (Take the 4th letter)
6. LETANPOE (Take the 5th letter)
Now unscramble the letters you got to find your answer.

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Answers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’SDAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/