Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

WELCOME to Thursday, May 26, 2011.
OK! It’s thunderstorms, tornados, lighting and roaring winds all being directed at the United States, so why couldn’t there be a conspiricy theory going on somewhere in the great big old world of ours? What if somebody somewhere had actually found a way to control the weather? I did hear something about a secret weather station located in Alaska where sceintists have been experimenting on the weather, maybe they are messing up stuff that they shouldn’t be messing with? It wouldn’t be the first time that has happened and maybe we have to keep destroying stuff to learn how to save stuff. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

All good things must come to an end. English Proverb

Honesty is the best policy.- English Proverb

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. – Chinese Proverb

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. – American Proverb

Better die with honor than live in shame. – English Proverb

A clear conscience is a soft pillow. – German Proverb

You can’t have your cake and eat it too. – American Proverb

Love is blind. – English Proverb

Opportunity seldom knocks twice. – English Proverb

A heart that loves is always young – Greek Proverb

Fall seven times, stand up eight. – Japanese Proverb

Tell me who’s your friend and I’ll tell you who you are. – Russian Proverb

Don’t speak unless you can improve on the silence. – Spanish Proverb

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. – Swedish Proverb

No matter how far you have gone on a wrong road, turn back. – Turkish Proverb

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s

Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the midwest, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepened each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, “No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.” The years went pay, and Bob figured he didn’t have much longer, so he got Sue out to the show, explaining, it’s free to watch, let’s at least watch. And once he got there the feeling become real strong. Sue and Bob started an arguement. The Pilot, between flights, overheard, listened to they problem, and said, “I’ll tell you what, I’ll take you up flying, and if you don’t say a word the ride is on me, but if you back one sound, you pay ten dollars.  So off they flew. The Pilot doing as many rolls, and dives as he could. Heading to the ground as fast as the plane could go, and pulling out of the dive at just the very last second. Not a word. Finally he admited defeat and went back the air port. “I’m surprised, why didn’t you say anything?” “Well I almost said something when Sue fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.”
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???‘I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle.’ Answer:Terminator 2. The Terminator, to a road house patron.

Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘I am exactly three inches high, and it’s a very good height indeed!’

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Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk, I didn’t mean to call you that.” Answer: Aerosmith. This lyric is from the song “Amazin'”, which featured Alicia Silverstone in its video. She also appeared in the video “Cryin'” and in “Crazy” with Liv Tyler, who is the daughter of Steven Tyler, the band’s lead singer.

Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “What’s up, tell me what to do, how to be, teach me, all you want from A to Z, but I don’t want your other girl to see that you’re messing ’round with me.”
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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..

What are the following Bruce Willis Movie titles below?

1) Au, Ag, H, He, Sn<-

2) Sight, Sound, Taste, Touch, Smell, Sight<-

3) Able, Ab le, Able<-

4) Master James Scout, Miss Emily Scout, Master Richard Scout, Miss Jane Scout
Master John Scout<-

5) White Hard + Colourant = Blue Hard

6) DEATH, HEATH, HEAT,HER

Answer: 1) The 5th Element (symbols for
elements)

2) The Sixth Sense

3) Unbreakable (the word able was broken and then unbroken)

4) The Last Boy Scout

5) Die Hard (Dye Hard)

6) Death Becomes Her

Thursday’s Quizzler is…

An antigram is an anagram which has
a meaning opposite to its unscrambled version.

Try these:

EVIL’S AGENTS

REAL FUN

NICE LOVE

NO MORE STARS

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! INCREDIBLE SOLVING JOB BANKS!

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Answers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG
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Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

WELCOME to Wednesday, May 25, 2011. Really?
You know once my kids grew up I really thought that I had ran out of writing material for my daily blogs, but I find that they are just as funny being grown up as they were as kids. I believe that even as grown ups we are still just a bunch of big kids. We just have more money, bigger toys and more things to play with! The difference is they we are fully responsible for our actions. For example take a look at Donald Trumps hair, how many ways can a man choose to wrap his hair around his head? Now to us it look hilarious, but he just embraces it and take full responsibility for it. It’s amazing watching my young adults and their styles, but they take full responsiblity, they embrace it and guess what? So do I! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here,
Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.”

– B. F. Skinner

“One doesn’t have a sense of humor. It has you.” – Larry Gelbart

“Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.”
– Mark Twain

What’s On the Web?

Are You Annoying? Take The
Quiz…

Take this simple quiz to determine the degree of your, I guess, annoy-itude or
annoyancity. You know what’s annoying? This quiz! That’s right, I said it.

Visit: Are You Annoying?

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s
Two green beans were crossing the highway when one of them was hit by a truck. His buddy scraped him up and rushed him to the hospital. After hours of surgery the doctor came in and said, “I have good news and bad news.” The green bean started to rejoice and the doctor
said, “The good news is that he’s going to live…The bad news is he’ll be a vegetable for the rest of his life.”
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘I don’t think you want
the word ‘pit’ on a wedding invitation, George.’
Answer: Father of the Bride. Grade-school aged Matty, to his slightly deranged father.

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is
this quote from??‘I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle.’

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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “I went to a shrink to analyze my dreams, he said it’s lack of sex that’s bringing me down.” Answer: Green Day. Lyrics from the song
“Basket Case”, off their 1994 album “Dookie”.

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk, I didn’t mean to call you that.”

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is..

A Name Train is a puzzle where each name isconnected together like box cars in a train. You are given the first car (the Engine)
and the last car (the caboose), and you have to fill in the car or cars in between. Every two consecutive cars will form a name of a person or character. Here is an example Name Train: Joan [ ] Li. The answer is Joan Jet Li (Joan Jet-Female singer, Jet Li-Actor) Ready? OK here goes:

1. Chris [ ] Hudson

2. Chris [ ] Asimov

3. Boy [ ] [ ] Ford

4. Elton [ ] [ ] Newton

5. Curious [ ] [ ] [ ] Browne

Answer: 1. Chris Rock Hudson

2. Chris Isaac Asimov

3. Boy George Harrison Ford

4. Elton John Wayne Newton

5. Curious George Michael Jackson Browne

Wednesday’s Quizzler  is..

What are the following
Bruce Willis Movie titles below?
1)
Ag
H
He
Sn<-
2)
Sight
Sound
Taste
Touch
Smell
Sight<-
3)
Able
Ab le
Able<-
4)

Master James Scout

Miss Emily Scout

Master Richard Scout

Miss Jane Scout

Master John Scout<-

5)

White Hard + Colourant = Blue Hard

6)

DEATH

HEATH

HEAT

HER

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Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

 WELCOME to Tuesday, May 24, 2011. Another date for theThe End of the World!

GUESS WHAT? By golly there been another date set up for the end of the world jussst in case you missed it! Yeppers the big bang party will now take place on October 21st! That’s right October 21st! Nows a good time to start buying those end of the world party stickers and balloons! I’m sure we will all need the time to get those suitcases repacked, say our goodbys and stand by the door! Kinda reminds me of those people who were trying to catch that comet a couple of years ago, they were shooting for the stars, but landed up way down under if you know what I mean! Can you say Hell-lo? That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“They say that when you have a baby, you lose 700 hours of sleep in the first year, but it’s worth it when they’re old enough to do the yard work.” -Craig Ferguson

“A new study found that the average child is more likely to own a cell phone than
a book. I guess that would explain why he’s average.” -Jimmy Fallon

“McDonald’s is undergoing a billion-dollar makeover, to be more like
Starbucks snobby, overpriced, and full of unemployed people.” -Jay Leno

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s

When the famous politician and orator William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925) was a young man, he went to the home of the father
of his prospective wife to ask him for her hand in marriage. Bryan was determined to impress the father by quoting from the Bible, and he chose
Proverbs 18:22: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.”  Bryan was unnerved when the father replied by quoting Paul: “So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.” (1 Corinthians 7:38)
Bryan, never at a loss for words, said: “Yes, but Paul had no wife and Solomon had 700. Therefore, I believe Solomon ought to be the better judge as to marriage.”

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘Tootie, remind me to
spank you right after dinner.”All right, Papa.’
Answer: Meet Me in St. Louis. Tootie left her roller skate on the stairs, and her father tripped
and fell.

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘I don’t think you want
the word ‘pit’ on a wedding invitation, George.’

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Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “Boy you know you make me float, boy you really get me high; feel like I’m on dope, cause you set me on a record high.” Answer: Aaliyah. This lyric is the firstline of the song “Rock the Boat”, from her last and self-titled album. Aaliyah was killed in a plane crash in August of 2001 coming back from shooting a scene for the “Rock the Boat” video in the Bahamas.

Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “I went to a shrink to analyze my dreams, he said it’s lack of sex that’s bringing me down.”

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Monday’s Quizzler is..

Can you decipher these common Christmas Carols?

1. Happiness to the Global Ecosystem
2. Small male percussionist
3. I am experiencing nocturnal visions of a colorless holiday
4. Festoon the Corridors
5. A Non-summer fairytale area
6. Oh holiday conifer
7. Ten plus two twenty-four hour periods of holiday festivity
8. Hey tiny city in Israel
9. In a remote location in a barn stall

Answer: 1. Joy to the World, 2. Little Drummer Boy, 3. I’m Dreaming of a White
Christmas, 4. Deck the Halls, 5. Winter Wonderland, 6. Oh Christmas Tree, 7. 12 Days of
Christmas, 8. Oh Little Town of Bethlehem, 9. Away in a Manger

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…

A Name Train is a puzzle where each name is connected together like box cars in a train. You are given the first car (the Engine) and the last car (the caboose), and you have to fill in the car or cars in between. Every two consecutive cars will form a name of a person or character. Here is an example Name Train: Joan [ ] Li. The answer is Joan Jet Li (Joan Jet-Female singer, Jet Li-Actor) Ready? OK here
goes:
1. Chris [ ] Hudson
2. Chris [ ] Asimov
3. Boy [ ] [ ] Ford
4. Elton [ ] [ ] Newton
5. Curious [ ] [ ] [ ] Browne

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO
MS. KIM HILLYARD! GREAT SOLVING JOB KIM!

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Answers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S
DAILY BLOG ONLINE@
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Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

WELCOME to Monday, May 23, 2011. The End of the World!

Well  guess I missed the end of the world this past Saturday! Lets see what was I doing?? Played 9 holes of golf, hung out with some old friends, spent some time with my daughter, talked to the wife and finally got on the computer! Oh yea I forgot, I watched a couple of good movies! I really have to apologise, I forgot that the world was going to end. I suppose I should have fretted or even acted concerned, but I didn’t see anybody looking crazed or concerned. Hey I didn’t even see those guys out with the “The World is Ending TODAY” signs.  Oh well, maybe I’ll catch it next time, kinda like Arnold saying “I’ll Be Back”, only this time I don’t think Arnold will be saying I’ll be back exspecially after his wife gets done with him and I don’t think the world will ending anytime soon, perhaps we’ll just reschedule the day! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have an incredible Monday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Jay Leno

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find
three wise men and a virgin.

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now
average. Which means you’ve met your New Year’s resolution.

McDonalds announced it’s considering a more humane way of slaughtering its animals. You know they fatten
them up and then kill them. You know the same thing they do to their customers, isn’t it?

A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says
he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun? Now how does this work? What’s the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he’s got your gun too!

According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take “a harder stance” on the death penalty. What’s a harder stance on the death penalty? We’re already killing the guy? How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What, are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair.

A New York company has made a video game that re-enacts John Kerry’s war career. Players pretend they’re Kerry, on a swift boat in Vietnam. Wasn’t there already some game based on John Kerry’s life? Oh, yeah, “Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?”

This year there are 50 women on the Forbes richest list, or as John Kerry calls that, his little black book.
G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s

The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their
first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time. Their Pre-meeting Statement wanted to make this clear before they had their first meeting, so that it would not be unor confusing. So their first meeting will actually be their first meeting and they will not have a meeting before the first meeting. This should avoid having people show up for their first meeting before it is held, since to do so would be confusing to
those who did so and this is what they want to avoid by reducing the confusion and lessening the repetition.

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘Babies smell!’ Answer: Jurassic Park. Alan, explaining why he doesn’t want children.

Mondays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘Tootie, remind me to
spank you right after dinner.”All right, Papa.’

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Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “What’s up, tell me what to do, how to be, teach me, all you want from A to Z, but I don’t want your other girl to see that you’re messing ’round with me.” Answer: Willa Ford. This 2001 hit, “I Wanna Be Bad,” is Willa Ford’s only single so far. In 2002 she worked for MTV as a veejay.

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “Boy you know you make me float, boy you really get me high; feel like I’m on dope, cause you set me on a record high.”

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Friday’s Quizzler is..

In a sylasearch I give you a syllable-starter, which is the first syllable in the words you are to find. I will also give you a listing of the other syllables (in which each may only be used once) which you must use to figure out the 9 words.

Syllable List – a, a, a, al, don, en, graph, ic, ka, keet, lel, ly, med, ses, the, tial, ty
Syllable-starter: par
How many syllables, each word has:
1. (2)
2. (2)
3. (2)
4. (3)
5. (3)
6. (3)
7. (3)
8. (4)
9. (4)

Answer: 1. Parka (par ka), 2. Pardon (par don), 3. Party (par ty), 4. Paragraph (par a graph)
5. Parallel (par al lel), 6. Parakeet (par a keet), 7. Partially (par tial ly), 8. Parentheses (par en the ses)
9. Paramedic (par a med ic)

Monday’s Quizzler is…

Can you decipher these common Christmas Carols?

1. Happiness to the Global Ecosystem
2. Small male percussionist
3. I am experiencing nocturnal visions of a colorless holiday
4. Festoon the Corridors
5. A Non-summer fairytale area
6. Oh holiday conifer
7. Ten plus two twenty-four hour periods of holiday festivity
8. Hey tiny city in Israel
9. In a remote location in a barn stall

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Answers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

WELCOME to Monday, May 2, 2011. TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there. (my favorite…)
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. 
    
Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !

“Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the
second-best policy.” – George Carlin

“The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen
and stupidity.” – Harlan Ellison

“Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted
line. He caught every other fish.” – Steven Wright

“For the first time ever, scientists have created artificial life. The hope is that it can revolutionize healthcare,
generate clean energy, become super-intelligent, take over the world, make us all its slaves, etc.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Scientists have developed a car that can run on water. The only problem is that the water has to come from the Gulf of Mexico.” -Jay Leno

“We have as a guest tonight, Archbishop Desmond Tutu.
I’m going to ask the question that’s on everyone’s mind: ‘As a bishop, do
you always have to move diagonally?'”
-Craig Ferguson

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s
One night our dog suddenly began barking almost every night at around 3 a.m.  Irritated and sleepy, my husband, Larry, searched the back yard for what might have disturbed
this otherwise peaceful animal.  For three days he found nothing amiss. When the dog woke up the neighborhood a fourth night at 3 a.m. with frantic barking Larry
finally snuck around the house through the alley only to discover our quiet neighbor, the last man you’d suspect of wrongdoing, throwing pebbles over the
fence at the dog.  My husband demanded to know what he was doing. “My mother-in-law is visiting,” the embarrassed neighbor explained. “If she gets
woken up in the middle of the night one more time she says she’ll leave.”
 
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote
from??? Man: “I think we need a few more drinks.” Woman: “To break the ice?” Man: “Nah, to kill the bug you have 

 up your…!” Answer:Terms of Endearment Jack Nicholson! 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is
this quote from?? Man: “It’s okay, the wet look is in…”

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Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000 -2002, try
and identify which song or which artist.“Am I crazy or falling in love?” 
Answer: “Crush”-David Archuleta“Do you ever think when you’re all alone,
All that we can be, where this thing can go? Am I crazy or falling in love?Is it real or just
another crush?”


Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000 -2002, try
and identify which song or which artist. “I turn the radio on, I turn the radio up, and this woman was singing my song.”

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Friday’s Quizzler is..
Which of the following words does not belong in the list,
and why?
Reappear
Caucasus
Inefficiencies
Signings
Arraigning
Horseshoer
Intestines
Appeases

Answer: The odd word out is INEFFICIENCIES
In all the other words, each of the letters in the word appears twice.

 
Monday’s Quizzler is…
There was a death on Treebark Ln. The victim was identified as Mark Oswalt, who recently was married.
The police went to the crime scene and they reported the death as a suicide.
Later that day, after the police left, a private detective, hired by the
victim’s friend who thought it was a murder, searched the crime scene and found
a note the police missed.

It read,

“4,3: 8,1:_: 9,1: 2,1: 7,4:_:
6,1:9,3:_: 9,1: 4,3: 3,3: 3,2: !”

The detective took out his cell phone and started dialing the police to tell them about his findings. Once the
detective opened the phone to dial, he immediately screamed out, “I SOLVED IT!”
Who was the murderer and how did the detective find out?
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Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email
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