Monday’s Daily Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

WELCOME to Monday, November 29, 2010. Just for Today………….

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes what Abraham Lincoln said is true: “Most folks are about as happy as they make their mind up to be.” Happiness comes from within; it is not a matter of externals.

Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is; not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.

Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse or neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought, and concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do someone a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two chores I don’t want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, speak diplomatically, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor find fault with anything, and not try to regulate or improve anyone.

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will have a program. I will write down what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate two pests: hurrying and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour by myself and relax and get a little more perspective into my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Particularly, I will be unafraid to be happy; to enjoy what is beautiful; to love; and to believe that those I love, love me.

“If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven’t done much today.” Hey I’m just saying! Have a great day and no matter what you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace I am outta here!

Quotes of the day

“I think vests are all about protection. The life vest protects you from drowning, and the bullet-proof vest protects you from getting shot and the sweater vest protects you from girls.” -Demetri Martin

“I went to the doctor and all he did was suck blood from my neck. Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!” -Mitch Hedberg

“Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, un-married with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work or prison.” -Tim Allen

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes.

I’m the postmaster for a small town in Pennsylvania. One of my regular customers, Jeff, bought several sheets of newly released commemorative stamps. Soon after he left, a woman came in carrying two crisp sheets of Harry Houdini stamps she’d found in the parking lot. The next morning, I gave Jeff the sheets of stamps he’d lost. “You know,” Jeff said to me, “I’m not at all that surprised the Houdini stamps reappeared.”
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘My wife used to say I was a hard man to know.’
Answer: The Shawshank Redemption! Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) shares some personal information with Red (Morgan Freeman) late in the film.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘I didn’t call you a retard; I called you a mongoloid. And I took it back.’
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Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “You don’t have to find your own way out, you’ve got a voice let it be heard”?

Answer: “Everybody “- Keith Urban! This song is from Keith’s fourth solo album to be released in the US.

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I’ve given you my best why does she get the best of you?”?

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Friday’s Quizzler is..

Below are words or phrases grouped in pairs. There is a different word that fits in the middle of each set that can be defined by both sides. Your task is to find those words.

Example:
Flower ________ Stood
Answer: Rose

1. Enclosure for animals – __________ – Writing instrument
2. Male sheep – __________ – Collide into something
3. To shove one thing inside another – __________ – A collection of miscellaneous items
4. Not specific or definite – __________ – Military officer of very high rank

ANSWER: 1. Enclosure for animals – Pen – Writing instrument
2. Male sheep – Ram – Collide into something
3. To shove one thing inside another – Stuff – A collection of miscellaneous items
4. Not specific or definite – General – Military officer of very high rank

Monday’s Quizzler is…

What is the next word in this series? Choose from the pool.

deal, ether, pant, wrath, realty, ?

Pool: archery, canteen, leopard, pollute, snapper, tractor

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS AND SWEETJAZZ5! BRILLIANT JOB LADIES!

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Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org. ww.hopeBUILD.org. www.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/ http://www.comf5.com/eucman

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Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome To Tuesday, November 23, 2010. On October 13, 1944, the Durham N. C. Sun Reported that a Durhamite had been brought before a Judge Wison in traffic court for having parked his car on a restricted street right in front of a sign that read “No Stoping.” Rather than pleading guilty, the defendant argued that the missing letter in the sign meant that he had not violated the letter of the law. Brandishing a Webster’s dictionary, he noted that stoping means: “Extracting ore from a stope or, loosely, underground.” “Your Honor”, said the man, “I am a law-abiding citizen and I didn’t extract any ore from the area of the sign. I move that the case be dismissed.”  Acknowledging that the defendant hadn’t done any illegal mining, the judge declared the man not guilty and commented, “Since this is Friday, the 13th, anything can happen, so I’ll turn you loose.” I’m just saying! Have an exciting Tuesday folks, whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!

O u o t e s o f D a y.

“Warner Brothers announced that it wants to remake ‘The Wizard of Oz.’ This version is going to be totally updated for 2010. For instance, each of the flying monkeys has to be patted down and go through a body scanner before they can take off.” -Jimmy Fallon

“In a survey of 35 cities, Los Angeles ranked second-to-last in intelligence. Residents of L.A. were outraged after the report was slowly explained to them.” -Conan O’Brien

“Police in San Diego are looking for a 78-year-old bank robber they have nicknamed the ‘Geezer Bandit.’ Victims of the Geezer Bandit’s last robbery say he threatened to tell  them stories of his grandkids.” -Craig Ferguson

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o E y e s

I was nervous the night my husband and I brought our three young sons to An upscale restaurant for the first time. My husband ordered a bottle Of wine with the meal. When the waitress brought it, our children Became quiet as she began the ritual uncorking. She poured a small Amount for me to taste, and then our six-year-old piped up, “Mom usually Drinks a lot more than that!”  

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  ‘Two things I know to be true: there’s no difference between good flan and bad flan…and there is no war. Guess who I am.

Answer: Wag the Dog! CIA Director Young (William H. Macy) makes it clear to Conrad Brean (Robert De Niro) and Winifred Ames (Anne Heche) that he is well aware of the fictional ‘war’ that they have constructed for the American news media in order to draw attention away from a rather lurid scandal in the White House.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘Don’t you people from the future ever pee?’

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Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “So I can and I will and you’ll see your hero come running over and over tonight”?

ANSWER:”For The Nights I Can’t Remember” – Hedley. Hedley’s lead singer, Jacob Hoggard, came third in Season two of “Canadian Idol”.

Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I was riding shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car…”?

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Monday’s Quizzler is..

The same three letters must be used to complete each of the following words. The letters are not necessarily in the same order in each word. What are the words?

_ NT _ IN _

VI _ _ _ R

_ H _ _ L

_ _ _ K

_ _ _

ANSWER: Entwine, Viewer

Wheel, Week, Ewe

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…

What does this represent?

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag

Ag CIRRUS Ag

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag

Ag CUMULUS Ag

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag

Ag STRATUS Ag

Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag

Answers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. ww.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.Eucmaninc.net. http://www.wcscatering.com., http://www.Beaumont77.com. http://www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., http://www.schoons.com., http://www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/ http://www.comf5.com/eucman

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome To Monday, November 22, 2010. Think About This. Just Some Things I’ve Learned…Author Unknown 

I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you’d better know something. 

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. 

I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people that’s important. It’s what they do about it. 

I’ve learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you a heartache for life. 

I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. 

I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think. 

I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. 

I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t. 

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. 

I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you. 

I’ve learned that when the light turns green, you had better look both ways before proceeding. 

I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don’t know how to show it. 

I”ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and still have the best time. 

I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. 

I’ve learned that you should never tell a child his dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if he believed it. I’m just saying! Have an interesting Monday folks, whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o E y e s 

Once I came upon this pretty new temp standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on her face. I asked if she needed any help and she said, “Yeah, how does this thing work ?” I took the papers from her hand and demonstrated how to work the shredder. She stood there a moment with yet another confused expression, so I said, “Any questions ?” She said, “Yeah, exactly where do the copies come out from ?” 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? 

‘I was their number one son…and they treated me like number two.’

Answer: Batman Returns! The Penguin, a.k.a. Oswald Cobblepot (Danny DeVito), explains to the citizens of Gotham City that his parents coldly rejected him when he was an infant. 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? ‘Two things I know to be true: there’s no difference between good flan and bad flan…and there is no war. Guess who I am. 

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “I never thought that you could break me apart, I keep a sinister smile and a hole in my heart.” 

ANSWER: “Hero/Heroine”- Boys Like Girls! Boys Like Girls are from Boston, Massachusetts. “Hero/Heroine” is a song off their self-titled album. The band is made up of Martin Johnson, Paul DiGiovanni, Bryan Donahue, and John Keefe. 

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “So I can and I will and you’ll see your hero come running over and over tonight”? 

Friday’s Quizzler is.. 

What commonly spoken passage is represented below?

I curse, tell tell

Lies, –>Truth<–

Trut, –>Truth<–

Tru, +, Anecdotes

–>Truth<–, Stories

Stitch aid moi deity 

ANSWER: I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God. 

Explanation:

I swear (curse)

To (two) tell

The truth = not lies, but the truth

The whole truth = Not just smaller parts of the truth ie. Trut and Tru

and (+)

Nothing but the truth = not the truth and anything else ie. anecdotes or stories

So (sew/stitch)

Help (aid)

Me (moi)

God (Deity) 

Monday’s Quizzler is… 

The same three letters must be used to complete each of the following words. The letters are not necessarily in the same order in each word. What are the words? 

_ NT _ IN _

VI _ _ _ R

_ H _ _ L

_ _ _ K

_ _ _ 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! BRILLIANT JOB AGAIN BANKS!

Answers in TUEDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org. ww.hopeBUILD.org. www.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/ http://www.comf5.com/eucman 

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, ‏to Friday November 19, 2010.  Tips to improve your writing……….
1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

3. Employ the vernacular.

4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

6. Remember to never split an infinitive.

7. Contractions aren’t necessary.

8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

9. One should never generalize.

10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

12. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.

13. Be more or less specific.

14. Understatement is always best.

15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

17. The passive voice is to be avoided.

18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

20. Who needs rhetorical questions?

21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

I’m just saying! Have an incredible Friday folks, whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!          

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

“One of Apple’s oldest computers is expected to go for about
$200,000 at an auction. It’s probably not the best purchase
though, because you know they’re just going to come out with
a new oldest computer in three months.” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“The new Oxford dictionary has declared Sarah Palin’s made-
up word ‘refudiate’ the 2010 word of the year. When asked
for her reaction to the dubious honor, Palin said she would
not ‘dignitate’ it with a response.” Jay Leno
 
“Tourism experts say that Paris, France has a serious bedbug
problem. When they heard about it, French people said it
looks like 500 years of not showering has come back to
literally bite us in the butt.” -Conan O’Brien 

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

How not to become a member of senior management: During a meeting, our bosses held a contest to name a new project. As members of the management team read through the entries, our CEO picked one out and asked, “Who knows what a phoenix is?” A junior manager answered, “It’s a bird in Harry Potter.” 

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘Rule number three: don’t you ever try and run on us. ‘Cause I’ve got six little friends…and they can all run faster than you can.’ 

Answer: From Dusk Till Dawn! Seth Gecko (George Clooney), brandishing his six-shooter, makes it clear to his hostage that any attempt to flee would be a bad idea.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????  ‘I was their number one son…and they treated me like number two.’

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “Let’s get together maybe we could start a new phase. The smoke’s got the club all hazy, spotlights don’t do you justice baby.”  

ANSWER: “AYO Technology”- 50 Cent feat. Justin Timberlake! “Let’s get together maybe we could start a new phase. The smoke’s got the club all hazy, spotlights don’t do you justice baby.” This part of the song is sung by Justin Timberlake. “AYO Technology” is from 50 Cent’s album “Curtis”.   

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I never thought that you could break me apart, I keep a sinister smile and a hole in my heart.”

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..  

In these Word Pyramids, the first letter is given to you (which is the first answer). Use the clues to build the pyramid to find the answer. In each consecutive answer, a letter is added to the previous answer. However, the answer letters might not be in the same order. Good Luck!!

Starting letter: I
Clues:
1. to exist
2. to rest
3. fine water
4. cuts down
5. legal rights
6. Apollo’s sister

ANSWER:  I, IS, SIT, MIST, TRIMS, MERITS, ARTEMIS 

Friday’s Quizzler is… 

What commonly spoken passage is represented below?

I curse

tell
tell

Lies
–>Truth<–

Trut
–>Truth<–
Tru
+
Anecdotes
–>Truth<–
Stories

Stitch aid moi deity 

 TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB AGAIN BANKS!

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Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/   http://www.simplycake.biz/  http://www.comf5.com/eucman

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, ‏to Thursday November 18, 2010.  Why Ask Why????  Didn’t you ever wonder….

How did a fool and his money get together?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

What do they use to ship styrofoam?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

I’m just saying! Have a great Thursday folks, whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!          

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

“A man in Kentucky cut off another man’s beard and forced him
to eat it during a fight. In a related story, I’m staying the
heck out of Kentucky.” -Conan O’Brien
 
“This will be a rough week for President Obama. He’s got a
lame duck Congress, he has to pardon a turkey, he has to eat
crow, and the Chinese just flipped him the bird. It’s been a
fowl week.” -Jay Leno 

“Animal Control discovered a woman here in New York with 50
cats in her two-bedroom apartment. That’s insane. I mean,
how can a crazy cat lady in New York afford a two-bedroom
apartment?” -Jimmy Fallon

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

I’ve never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you
call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words,
every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘Let me get this straight — you don’t want to cheat on your girlfriend with your wife? Jesus, Francis, are you sure I’m your father? I’m gonna have to check with your mother on this.’  

Answer: She’s the One! The patriarch of the Fitzpatrick family (John Mahoney) expresses both disbelief and disgust upon hearing the unusual confession of his adulterous younger son Francis (Mike McGlone). 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? ‘Rule number three: don’t you ever try and run on us. ‘Cause I’ve got six little friends…and they can all run faster than you can.’

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Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “They don’t make ’em like this anymore. I ask cause I’m that sure,” from? 

ANSWER: “Stronger”- Kanye West! Kanye West was born on June 8, 1977. “Stronger” is off his third album “Graduation” and has one part of another song called “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger”.   

Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Let’s get together maybe we could start a new phase. The smoke’s got the club all hazy, spotlights don’t do you justice baby.”

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..  

Below are incomplete words. Place three (3) letters in each bracket so that you can complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.

unf (_ _ _ ) est
to (_ _ _) tures
hic (_ _ _) ful
eit (_ _ _) etic
fee (_ _ _) eder
he (_ _ _) ful

ANSWER:  unfold – oldest, topic – pictures, hiccup – cupful, either – heretic, feeble – bleeder, heart – artful

Thursday’s Quizzler is… 

In these Word Pyramids, the first letter is given to you (which is the first answer). Use the clues to build the pyramid to find the answer. In each consecutive answer, a letter is added to the previous answer. However, the answer letters might not be in the same order. Good Luck!!

Starting letter: I

Clues:
1. to exist
2. to rest
3. fine water
4. cuts down
5. legal rights
6. Apollo’s sister
 

 TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB BANKS!

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Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/   http://www.simplycake.biz/  http://www.comf5.com/eucman

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

 Welcome, ‏to Wednesday November 17, 2010. Real Signs In Shop Windows………

 Signs In a clothing store:
“Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”
 
In the window of an Oregon general store:
“Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?”
 
In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
“Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but
their own graves.”
 
On a Tennessee highway: “Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is
impassable.”
 
From the safety information card in America WestAirline
seat pocket: “If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this
card, please tell a crew member.”
 
On a Maine shop:
“Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible
prices and workmanship.”
 
On a delicatessen wall:
“Our best is none too good.”

I’m just saying! Have a wonderful Wednesday folks, whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!          

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

“Animal Control discovered a woman here in New York with
50 cats in her two-bedroom apartment. That’s insane. I
mean, how can a crazy cat lady in New York afford a two-
bedroom apartment?” – Jimmy Fallon
 
“Obama’s overseas trip has been such a disaster that
people in Kenya now claim that he has an American birth
certificate.” – Jay Leno
 
“If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as
getting.” – Benjamin Franklin 

What’s On the Web?

22 Fictional Characters Whose Names You Don’t Know
 
Curious about the true identities of some your favorite
fictional characters? From television to boardgames secret
identities are about to be revealed and some may surprise you.
 
Visit: http://bit.ly/c62nWW
 
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Fantasia: Commanding the Heavens
 
Watch “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” segment from the classic
1940 Disney film “Fantasia”, featuring Mickey Mouse.
 
Visit: http://bit.ly/9ERIvw    

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

Since my purchases came to $19.06, I handed the cashier a twenty. “Do you have six cents?” she asked. 
“Sorry,” I said after fishing around my pockets, “I have no cents.”
“Finally,” she muttered, “a man who can admit it.”
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  ‘They’d have killed you already, but you’ve got a lot of light on you.’ 

Answer: J F K! ‘General X’ (Donald Sutherland) explains to Jim Garrison (Kevin Costner) just how dangerous his investigation is. 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? ‘Let me get this straight — you don’t want to cheat on your girlfriend with your wife? Jesus, Francis, are you sure I’m your father? I’m gonna have to check with your mother on this.’

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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “I close both blinds and turn away. Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple, sometimes goodbye’s the only way.” 

ANSWER: “Shadow Of The Day”- Linkin Park! “Shadow Of The Day” is from Linkin Park’s CD “Minutes To Midnight”. Some of their other CDs include “Hybrid Theory” and “Meteora”. Linkin Park was formed in 1996 in Agoura Hills, California.  

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “They don’t make ’em like this anymore. I ask cause I’m that sure,” from?

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is..  

What is this famous saying?
zain yain xain wain vain uain tain sain rain qain oain nain main lain kain jain iain hain fain eain dain cain bain aain

ANSWER: No pain, no gain!
In a backwards sequence, every alphabetical letter comes with the suffix “ain” except “p” and “g” and hence “no p-ain”, “no g-ain”. 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is… 

Below are incomplete words. Place three (3) letters in each bracket so that you can complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.

unf (_ _ _ ) est
to (_ _ _) tures
hic (_ _ _) ful
eit (_ _ _) etic
fee (_ _ _) eder
he (_ _ _) ful

 TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB BANKS!

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Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/   http://www.simplycake.biz/  http://www.comf5.com/eucman

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

 Welcome, ‏to Tuesday November 16, 2010.  Have you ever wanted to change your answering machine message?
Here’s one you can use that will guarantee peace of mind.  Gregorian chants in background; serene voice: Hello, Brother or Sister. You have reached the Cubicles of Curtis, Chris, and Jim. We are at Vespers and therefore answering other calls, but if you will leave your name, number, and a brief message, we will consider breaking our vow of silence to return your call. Please speak loudly, clearly, and in tongues. I’m just saying! Have a wonderful Tuesday folks, whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!          

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

“Britain’s Prince William is reportedly engaged to his long-
time girlfriend. It’s a big step up from her previous status:
peasant with benefits.” -Conan O’Brien
 
“A kindergarten teacher in Florida was arrested for
trafficking Oxycodone. Other teachers became suspicious
when she had the only class in school with a six-hour
naptime.” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“The use of profanity on broadcast television is up 69
percent in the last few years. That should level off once
Oprah steps down.” -Jimmy Kimmel 
    

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

A couple moved to the country when they retired. One mild winter, they had a bit of a problem with rodents in the garage. So they bought one of those little sub-sonic mouse repellants, the kind you plug in and they emit some kind of sound that drives off mice. The husband was showing it to their neighbor and explaining that it was an animal repellant. He told her that it worked on every thing from mice to elephants. “Really!?” she said, “Mice to elephants, eh.” sounding a bit skeptical. “Yes,” he replied, seriously. “We’ve had it here for a couple of weeks now and we haven’t had a single elephant in the garage the whole time!”  

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘Ernest Hemingway once wrote:’The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for.’ I agree with the second part.’ 

Answer: Se7en! The last words of the film, spoken by Detective William Somerset (Morgan Freeman). 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????  ‘They’d have killed you already, but you’ve got a lot of light on you.’

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Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “I’m gonna trade this life for fortune and fame, I’d even cut my hair and change my name.”   

ANSWER:  “Rockstar”- Nickelback! Nickelback is made up of Chad Kroeger, Ryan Peake, Mike Kroeger, and Daniel Adair. “Rockstar” is from the CD “All The Right Reasons” that came out in 2005. 

Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I close both blinds and turn away. Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple, sometimes goodbye’s the only way.”

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Monday’s Quizzler is..  

Each of the clues below describe a name of a candy. Can you name that candy? Example: Earth’s neighbor = Mars.

1. Quiet giggles from the back of the room
2. Infant child of The Sultan of Swat (2)
3. Cow juice / cowboy clothes (2)
4. Baby chick chirps
5. Male parental unit that plays guitar (2)

ANSWER: 1. Snickers (or Chuckles)
2. Baby Ruth
3. Milk Duds
4. Peeps
5. Pop Rocks

Tuesday’s Quizzler is… 

What is this famous saying?

zain yain xain wain vain uain tain sain rain qain oain nain main lain kain jain iain hain fain eain dain cain bain aain

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Answers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/ http://www.comf5.com/eucman