Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, ‏to Friday October 28, 2010. Business one-liners 101…….

When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

When your opponent is down, kick him.

Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

Why did the Roman Empire collapse? What is the Latin for office automation?

Why is it that there are so many more horses’ asses than there are horses? – G. Gordon Liddy

Why worry about tomorrow? We may not make it through today.

Winning isn’t everything, but losing isn’t anything.

You’re not drunk if you can lay on the floor without holding on.

 Hey I’m just saying! Have a great weekend folks, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!     
 

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

“Robert Redford was knighted in France yesterday. I don’t
want to brag, but I was also knighted. Which was a huge
honor because usually, Medieval Times will only do that
on your birthday.” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“Whenever tourists come to New York City, they always have
two questions. First, ‘Where can we get something to eat?’
And second, ‘What is that smell?'” -David Letterman
 
“They say it now costs $250,000 to raise a child to age 18,
and that doesn’t count college, which is like $50,000 a
year. So kids, if you want to give dad a great Father’s Day
gift, run away.” -Jimmy Kimmel  

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

When the famous politician and orator William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925) was a young man, he went to the home of the father of his prospective wife to ask him for her hand in marriage. Bryan was determined to impress the father by quoting from the Bible, and he chose Proverbs 18:22: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.” Bryan was unnerved when the father replied by quoting Paul: “So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.” (1 Corinthians 7:38) Bryan, never at a loss for words, said: “Yes, but Paul had no wife and Solomon had 700. Therefore, I believe Solomon ought to be the better judge as to marriage.”  

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “Good afternoon, Mr. President. Sorry I’ve been away so long. It won’t happen again.”  

Answer: Superman II! Superman (Christopher Reeve) apologizes to the President of the United States as he replaces the part of the roof of the White House that had been severely damaged by three criminals from his home world of Krypton. Most of this 1980 film focused on Superman’s conflict with these criminals, as well as his desire to pursue a romantic relationship with Lois Lane (Margot Kidder).  

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? A: “You said you sold this.” B: “I did.” A: “Liar.” B: “Thief.”

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “We missed you on the charts last week, dog, that’s right, you wasn’t there”

ANSWER: Give It To Me! “Give It To Me” by Timbaland featuring Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake debuted on the American charts in February of 2007. On April 21st, it took a huge leap from number 42 to number one and remained there for two weeks. It was the first number one for Timbaland as a recording artist (he had multiple number ones previously as a producer), the third chart topper for Nelly Furtado and the fourth for Justin Timberlake. The song also went to number one in the United Kingdom and Bulgaria and reached the top ten in a dozen other countries. Timbaland had a number three hit with “The Way I Are” in the summer of 2007. “This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race” by Fall Out Boy went to number two in February, 2007. In 1979, M took “Pop Muzik” to number one.   

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.”  “She’s, like, so whatever, you could do so much better”

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..  

Solve the two riddles. The answers should be anagrams of each other.
(Thing 1)
You use me when you want to cook
For friends or family.
But, whether written down or not,
It’s best you stick to me.

(Thing 2)
I like to think that I’m a skill,
Not just some old technique.
People do me to their ears,
Or nose, or tongue, or cheek.

ANSWER: Thing 1 is a RECIPE. Thing 2 is PIERCE.  

Friday’s Quizzler is… 

This teaser is split into two sections. The first part requires you to take the letters “ST” and add a word to make a two-word phrase. Example: “A Drink Past Its Sell-By Date” would be “Stale Ale.” You start with “ST” and add the word “ale.”

1. Remaining Unwell
2. An Odd Group of Mountains
3. Hide the Signs of Fire

The second part requires you to do nearly the opposite. Create a two-word phrase by using the same word and adding a “P” to the end. Example: “Backstroked Through the Marsh” would be “Swam Swamp.” You start with the word “Swam” and add the letter “P.”

4. An Incline for Sheep
5. Once an Insect
6. Tenement Deterioration

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS, MR. STEVE SCHICK AND SWEETJAZZ5 FOR SOLVING THIS QUIZZLER! BRILLIANT JOB PEOPLE!

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Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/   http://www.simplycake.biz/

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, ‏to Thursday October 27, 2010. Here what I have learned over my life time! All of the music that I grow up listening to has been turned into commercials, jingles and finally elevator music. I actually heard one lady play beat it on the harp at an event one evening! Time is the amazing equalizer! I’m sure all of the music that I heard while I grew up and referred to as elevator music at one time was another generations top ten music. Now days I hear my generations music sampled all of the time. I really wonder how Rap music will play in an elevator, how will Snoop Dog sound played on a violin? I’m sure we will find out in about 10 to 15 years! Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Thursday folks, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!     

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

Steven Wright

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.

I had a dream that all the victims of The Pill came back… Boy, were they mad!

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney…

I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I’m in a submarine that’s been hit.

It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is, it’s always room temperature.

I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.

I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading. So, I got some flip-up contact lenses.

Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.

I filled out an application that said, “In Case Of Emergency Notify”. I wrote “Doctor”… What’s my mother going to do? 

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, “Ah shore do, wardn. Ah’d be mighty grateful if’n yoo’d play ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ fur me bahfore ah hafta go.””Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that,” says the warden. He turns to the biker, “And you, biker, what’s your last request?””That you kill me first.”   

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? A: “I think it’s gonna rain.” B: “It is raining.” A: “Yeah.” 

Answer: sex, lies and videotape! No, I did not suddenly lose the use of my SHIFT key: the title of this film is in fact spelled without capital letters. Blame Steven Soderbergh, who wrote and directed this 1989 film (his first) that tells the tale of an unhappily married woman, her amorous sister, her cheating husband, and an old friend of her husband’s who passes through town and changes her life with his unusual ideas and the things he does with his handheld video camera. These last lines are spoken by Ann (Andie McDowell) and Graham (James Spader), respectively.  

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Good afternoon, Mr. President. Sorry I’ve been away so long. It won’t happen again.”

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Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “He said, ‘Son, when you grow up , would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned'”  

ANSWER:  Welcome To The Black Parade! “Welcome To The Black Parade” debuted on the American pop chart in September of 2006. Seventeen weeks later, on January 7th, 2008, the song peaked at number nine and went on to spend a total of 26 weeks on the Hot 100. My Chemical Romance was formed in Jersey City, New Jersey in 2001 by Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Frank Iero, Ray Toro and Bob Bryar. Following their success with the platinum-certified album “Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge”, the band released “The Black Parade” on October 23rd, 2006 and watched it rise to number two on the Billboard’s Top 200 album chart. The album spawned four top twenty hits in Britain including “Famous Last Words”, “I Don’t Love You” and “Teenagers”. The single “Welcome To The Black Parade” was easily their most successful worldwide, reaching the top 20 in New Zealand, Finland, Ireland, Australia, Norway, Portugal and Italy. “Teenagers” was a number 67 hit for My Chemical Romance. John Mayer took “Waiting On The World To Change” to number 14 in 2007. “Papa Was A Rolling Stone” was a number one hit for the Temptations in 1972.

Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “We missed you on the charts last week, dog, that’s right, you wasn’t there”
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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..  

What saying is seen here?

Mary, Sue, Jane
LAW
Bob, Fred, Jim

ANSWER:  No man is above the law. 

Thursday’s Quizzler is… 

Solve the two riddles. The answers should be anagrams of each other.

(Thing 1)
You use me when you want to cook
For friends or family.
But, whether written down or not,
It’s best you stick to me.

(Thing 2)
I like to think that I’m a skill,
Not just some old technique.
People do me to their ears,
Or nose, or tongue, or cheek.

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING THIS QUIZZLER IN LESS THEN 10 MINUTES! BRILLIANT!

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Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/   http://www.simplycake.biz/

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, to Wednesday October 26, 2010.   Maybe this is why they don’t teach music in high school any more. Following are actual answers from students on music tests…

– The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.

– Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.

– Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.

– All female parts were sung by castrati. We don’t know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.

– Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven’s Erotica,
Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin’s Rap City in Blue.

– Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.

– A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

– Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.

– Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys.

– I know what a sextet is but I’d rather not say.

– Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he
practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic.

– Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti. 
      
Hey I’m just saying! Have a nice middle of the week Wednesday folks, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

“Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is
like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.”
– Christopher Hampton

“I can resist anything but temptation.”
– Oscar Wilde (Lady Windermere’s Fan, 1892, Act I)

“It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a
reputation for subtlety.”
– Isaac Asimov  

“Oprah Winfrey, Meryl Streep, and Sandra Bullock are going
to star in a new movie by ‘Sex and the City’ director Michael
Patrick King. Or, as girlfriends who were dragged to watch
‘Jackass 3D’ call it, ‘Payback.'” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“Everyone is on strike in France. In Paris, they called in
riot police. They’re no joke. They crack skulls with
baguettes and they unleash fire hoses filled with soft
cheese.” -Craig Ferguson
 
“A woman who is tired of the pressure to get married is
marrying herself. There’s just got to be someone for Jennifer
Aniston.” -David Letterman  

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

I was traveling through Georgia last summer and stopped at a little backwoods country store. In the men’s room there was a handwritten sign above the malfunctioning potty which said, “Please Wiggel Handel”. Below that some wit had written, “If I do, will it wiggel Bach?”  

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “Hey! You guys wanna buy a bar?”  

Answer: Running Scared! “Running Scared” (1986) stars Billy Crystal and the late Gregory Hines as Chicago cops who entertain the idea of retiring early. During a vacation in Florida, they actually buy a bar, intending to make its upkeep their new career. By the end of the film, though, they have clearly changed their minds about leaving the police department. This final line is spoken by Danny Costanzo (Crystal) to two other detectives. 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? A: “I think it’s gonna rain.” B: “It is raining.” A: “Yeah.”

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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “I could be brown, I could be blue, I could be violet sky”    

ANSWER: Grace Kelly! “Grace Kelly” was released from Mika’s album “Life In Cartoon Motion” in early 2007. While instantly recognizable, the song made only a small impact on the charts in the United States, hitting number 57 on the Billboard Hot 100 and number 13 on Billboard’s Pop 100. In the United Kingdom, the song was an unmitigated smash, spending five weeks at number one and forty weeks on the chart. At the end of the year, it was named the third biggest selling single in the U.K. The song also reached number one in Ireland, Italy and Norway and the top ten in more than ten other countries. Mika has stated that the Freddie in the song refers to Queen lead singer Freddie Mercury. “Love Today” reached number 92 for Mika. Jim Jones took “We Fly High” to number five in 2007. Kermit the Frog reached number 25 in 1979 with “Rainbow Connection”.

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.”  “He said, ‘Son, when you grow up , would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned'”
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Tuesday’s Quizzler is..  

In these Word Pyramids, the first letter is given to you (which is the first answer). Use the clues to build the pyramid to find the answer. In each consecutive answer, a letter is added to the previous answer. However, the answer letters might not be in the same order. Good Luck!!
Starting letter: A  Clues:
1. sodium
2. one, some, every, or all
3. greenish blue
4. careful and shrewd
5. Grand ——

ANSWER: A
NA
ANY
CYAN
CANNY
CANYON

The Grand Canyon leaves all who experience it with a sense of wonder, magic and awe. From its dramatic 5000 foot deep, 277 miles long, and up to 18 mile wide gorge, to its diverse plateaus, towers and hills, the Grand Canyon is one of the world’s most stunning destinations. Rich with exceptional beauty, ancient geological history and modern universal amazement, the Grand Canyon attracts more than 5 million tourists each year.   

Wednesday’s Quizzler is… 

What saying is seen here?

Mary
Sue
Jane
LAW
Bob
Fred
Jim

=========================================================Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/   http://www.simplycake.biz/

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, ‏to Tuesday October 26, 2010.  Food Ideas Rejected By McDonalds:

Chicken McBobbitts

Salmon McNella

Tom & Roseanne “Together Forever” Value Meal

Shirley McLean Burger

McMenudo

Filet o’ Gefilte Fish

Way Too Happy Meal

Lion King Hairball Happy Meal

Them Ain’t Nuggets!

McKitty Sandwich

Boutrous Boutrous Burger

Rocky Mountain McOysters

McSpleen

The Depressed Meal

Filet O’ Flesh

McShrooms

Bob Barker’s Happy Pants Meal

McTonya Club Sandwich

Grumpy Meal, Dopey Meal, and Sneezy Meal

Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Tuesday folks, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people
who annoy me.” –Noel Coward
 
“Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.”
–Frank Leahy
 
“Some people are born on third base and go through life
thinking they hit a triple.” –Barry Switzer 

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

I work for a small software company with approximately fifty employees. My Boss was the company’s third employee. At a meeting with a potential client, our team introduced ourselves one by one. When it was my Boss’ turn, he said, “I’ve been with the company for it’s entire 10 year history. I started as a ‘lowly programmer’ and now I am a senior
manager.” When it was my turn, I rose and said, “I’m new with the company. I’m still a lowly programmer.”  

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? A: “So? What do you think?” B: “I think…it’s not all bad.” 

Answer: Grand Canyon! Writer-director Lawrence Kasdan fills “Grand Canyon” (1991) with a lot of moralizing and ruminating about the disheartening state of modern society set against a Los Angeles backdrop. Simon (Danny Glover) tells his newfound friend Mac (Kevin Kline) that what he needs to put things into perspective is a visit to the Grand Canyon. In the very last scene of the film, Mac’s family and Simon’s family make that visit together. During Mac’s first real look at one of the natural wonders of the world, Simon and Mac exchange these lines. 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Hey! You guys wanna buy a bar?”

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Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket, but I’ve gotta get a move on with my life.”      

ANSWER: Big Girls Don’t Cry! “Big Girls Don’t Cry” hit number one on September 8th, 2007. It spent an incredible 18 weeks in the top five, 40 weeks in the top 40 and 48 weeks total on Billboard’s Hot 100. “Big Girls Don’t Cry” was the fourth hit off of the album “The Duchess” which hit number two and was certified multi-platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America. The first song, “London Bridge” went to number one as did the third release “Glamorous”. “Fergilicious” got as high as number two and “Clumsy”, the fifth release, made it to number five. Despite being the fourth release, “Big Girls Don’t Cry” became the biggest downloaded single from the album and is also the most successful of her singles abroad. The song spent nine weeks at number in Australia and became the year’s biggest hit there. It also reached the top in Austria, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand and Norway. In a 2008 list of The All Time Hot 100 Top Songs by Billboard magazine, “Big Girls Don’t Cry” came in at number 89. “London Bridge” was Fergie’s first number one song from “The Duchess”. Gwen Stefani and Akon took “The Sweet Escape” to number two in April, 2007. “My Life” is the title of a top 40 hit by multiple artists including Billy Joel and The Game. FUN FACT: Fergie did the voice of Sally Brown in two Charlie Brown specials in the 1980s.

Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I could be brown, I could be blue, I could be violet sky”

TODAY’S CRAZY SONG DIVA AWARD GOES TO MS. CARRIE PALOMBO! GREAT JOB CARRIE!

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Monday’s Quizzler is..  

Each group of definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing. The length of the words in each group is provided.

1) a small bundle & a pointed stake for a fence & a small isolated area or group (6 letters)
2) to express in words & not freshly made & to look fixedly at something (5 letters)
3) a dance that conveys a story & a makeshift bed & a hammer-like implement (6 letters)
4) a local branch of a society & a mercantile lease of a ship & to talk incessantly (7 letters)

ANSWER: 1) packet, picket, pocket, 2) state, stale, stare, 3) ballet, pallet, mallet, 4) chapter, charter, chatter 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is… 

In these Word Pyramids, the first letter is given to you (which is the first answer). Use the clues to build the pyramid to find the answer. In each consecutive answer, a letter is added to the previous answer. However, the answer letters might not be in the same order. Good Luck!!

Starting letter: A
Clues:
1. sodium
2. one, some, every, or all
3. greenish blue
4. careful and shrewd
5. Grand ——

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTERS OF THE DAY AWARD FOR CONSISTENCY GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5 AND MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB LADIES!

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Answers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/   http://www.simplycake.biz/

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, ‏to Monday October 25, 2010.  The Darwin Awards……

The long awaited Darwin “Natural Selection” Awards have been released! These awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool. Ladies And Gentlemen… (drum roll… and envelope please)… We proudly present the “Natural Selection” awards:

5th runner-up: Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad. The 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff’s Department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since been investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one with its pad removed.

4th Runner-up: Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death.

3rd Runner-up: Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.

2nd Runner-up: “Man loses face at party”. A man at a West Virginia party (probably related to the man in Arkansas who used a .22 bullet to replace the fuse in his pick-up truck) popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue.

Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. “Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to explode it”, said Payne. “It wouldn’t go off and this guy said I’ll show you how to set it off.”

“He put it into his mouth and bit down. It blew all his teeth out and his lips and tongue off”, Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson at Charleston Area Medical Division. “I just can’t imagine anyone doing something like that” Payne said.

1st Runner-up: Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an initiation into a men’s rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous (probably known now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grant’s Pass, Oregon.

A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert’s right eye. Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon Doctor Johnny Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted afterwards he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, “I feel so dumb about this”. No charges have been filed, but the Josephine County district attorney’s office said the initiation stunt is unde investigation.

Now this year’s winners:(The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the George Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to “hop” over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show.

They pulled their pick-up truck over to the fence and the plan was for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, who was 100 pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins) to hop the fence and then assist his friend over. Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30 foot drop on the other side of the fence.

Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm, as it were) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. (Possibly) figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree.

Finally free, (did I mention that he is THE LATE) Mr. Pernicky crashed into Holly bushes. The sharp leaves Scratched his ENTIRE body, without the protection of his shorts. To make matters worse (?!), on landing, his pocketknife penetrated his thigh 3 inches.

(The late) Mr. Hawkins, on seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, decided to throw him a rope and pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pick-up truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste/state, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed pick-up with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries.

Upon moving the truck, they found John under it, half-naked, scratches on his body, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.
 
Hey I’m just saying! Have a eye opening Monday folks, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

Those that fail to learn from history, are doomed to repeat it. Winston Churchill 

And this above all unto thine own self be true and it shall follow as the day the night – thou can’st not then be false to any man. William Shakespeare 

All you need is trust and a little bit of pixie dust!  Peter Pan 

Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.  Confucius

Every time you say you dont believe in fairies, a fairy dies. Peter Pan

‘Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.’  Dr Seuss   

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
“I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.” The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. “And what if I swallow it?” “No problem,” says the barber. “Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does.”  

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “Basic principles. There are none.” 

Answer: Hitch! “Hitch” (2005) stars Will Smith as “the Date Doctor”, a man who gets paid to advise men on how to get the women of their dreams to accept their advances. Alex “Hitch” Hitchens’ voice-over at the beginning of the film informs the audience that there are certain “basic principles” that must be acknowledged in order to navigate romance successfully…but by the film’s end, he seems to have abandoned that concept completely. This last line, oddly enough, is delivered directly to the audience.  

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? A: “So? What do you think?” B: “I think…it’s not all bad.”

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Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.” “Open up to me, like you do your girlfriends”      

ANSWER: Rob Thomas’s song ‘Lonely No More’!

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket, but I’ve gotta get a move on with my life.”

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Friday’s Quizzler is..  

Each sentence has a different dog breed hidden in it. Can you find them all?
1. Always be a gleeful person to those around you.
2. He did trap ugly creatures in the net.
3. Joe ate the ham as Tiffany dished up dinner.
4. Angela got to the city early to do some shopping.
5. She tried to whip petticoats up in time for the performance.
6. They looked at the spruce sky and wondered where it came from.  

ANSWER: Beagle – Always BE A GLEeful person to those around you.  Pug – He did traP UGly creatures in the net.  Mastiff – Joe ate the haM AS TIFFany dished up dinner.
Lagotto – AngeLA GOT TO the city early to do some shopping.  Whippet – She tried to WHIP PETticoats up in time for the performance. Cesky – They looked at the spruCE SKY and wondered where it came from.  I have included information from the NZKC on two of the breeds you may not have heard of.  “The Cesky Terrier exists due to the efforts of a Czechoslovakian breeder named Frantisek Horak. The Cesky is a relatively new breed, first recognised by the FCI in 1963. They are a mixture of Sealyham and Scottish Terriers possibly with other terriers added.” “The Lagotto Romagnolo is an old breed dating back to the 1300’s; it has remained the same in appearance and conformation over the centuries. It hails from the northeastern area of Italy known as Romagna. Its original job was as a water dog used in the hunt for water fowl.”

Monday’s Quizzler is… 

Each group of definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing. The length of the words in each group is provided.

1) a small bundle & a pointed stake for a fence & a small isolated area or group (6 letters)
2) to express in words & not freshly made & to look fixedly at something (5 letters)
3) a dance that conveys a story & a makeshift bed & a hammer-like implement (6 letters)
4) a local branch of a society & a mercantile lease of a ship & to talk incessantly (7 letters)   

 TODAY’S QUIZZMASTERS OF THE DAY AWARD FOR THURSDAY GOS TO SWEETJAZZ5 AND MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB LADIES!

=====================================================================================Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/   http://www.simplycake.biz/

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, ‏to Friday October 22, 2010. Mother’s dictionary……….
 
Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal: Able to whine in words

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”  

Hey I’m just saying! Have a great weekend folks, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

“Starting in January, couples can actually get married at
McDonald’s in Hong Kong. I’m not saying those marriages
won’t work, but when have you been to a McDonald’s and not
regretted it one hour later?” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“Carl’s Jr. is selling a foot-long burger. You may know it
better as ‘meatloaf.'” -David Letterman
 
“One of Nietzsche’s beliefs was that every person has
different sides like free will versus destiny, good versus
evil, or Mary Kate versus Ashley.” -Craig Ferguson 

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

Every year on their wedding anniversary my boss, Woody, and his wife celebrated by staying at the same resort hotel. On their 25th anniversary they booked their usual room. But when the hotel’s bell captain escorted them upstairs, they were in for a big surprise. “There must be some mistake,” Woody said. “This looks like the bridal suite.” “It’s okay,” the bell captain reassured him. “If I put you in the ballroom, that doesn’t mean you have to dance.” 

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “And here is your receipt.”  

Answer:  The Blues Brothers! Jake and Elwood Blues spend most of this 1980 film trying to raise money to prevent the closure of the orphanage in which they were raised. After extensive hijinks and blues music, they finally succeed in paying the Cook County Assessor’s office the necessary fee to save the orphanage.  The clerk who processes this payment and speaks the final line of dialogue is played by none other than Steven Spielberg, a personal friend of director John Landis. By the way, the Blues Brothers’ band does perform one more song (“Jailhouse Rock”) after this scene, but I don’t count lyrics of a song to be dialogue. 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Basic principles. There are none.”

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.” “This place is so empty, my thoughts are so tempting”?    

ANSWER: Sum 41! “Pieces” is a song off of Sum 41’s album “Chuck”.   

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Open up to me, like you do your girlfriends”

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..  

Each of the clues below describe a famous pair (example: Salt & Pepper). Can you name each pair?

1. Jingly sound makers & accompanying sounds heard on the Seven Dwarfs commute
2. Corny phrase used by photographers & thin crisp wafers
3. Small spherical play toy & a letter propagated to many people threatening bad luck unless forwarded
4. Mayberry’s deputy sheriff & hollow round percussion instrument
5. A cheery, cheerful or joyous disposition & a unit of company stock
6. Long slender conifer leaf & message board continuous chain of postings
7. Kevin of “Six Degrees” trivia fame & chicken predecessors
8. Writing implement loaded with ink & bank employee that receives or pays out money
9. A paste made from ground goober peas & sweet spread prepared from Concord Grapes 

ANSWER: 1. Bells & Whistles, 2. Cheese & Crackers, 3. Ball & Chain, 4. Fife & Drum, 5. Sonny & Cher
6. Needle & Thread, 7. Bacon & Eggs, 8. Penn & Teller, 9. Peanut Butter & Jelly 

Friday’s Quizzler is… 

Each sentence has a different dog breed hidden in it. Can you find them all?

1. Always be a gleeful person to those around you.

2. He did trap ugly creatures in the net.

3. Joe ate the ham as Tiffany dished up dinner.

4. Angela got to the city early to do some shopping.

5. She tried to whip petticoats up in time for the performance.

6. They looked at the spruce sky and wondered where it came from.  

 TODAY’S QUIZZMASTERS OF THE DAY AWARD FOR THURSDAY GOS TO MS. KIM HILLYARD, SWEETJAZZ5 AND MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB LADIES!

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Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/   http://www.simplycake.biz/

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

 Welcome, ‏to Thursday October 21, 2010.   Somewhere in this great big old world of ours it’s National Pondering Day! Here are the top ponderings of the day!
 
Why is the word abbreviation so long?

How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

You know how most packages say “Open here”.What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else”?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings do orientals throw hamburgers?

Why are they called buildings, when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?

Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?

Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?

Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

Hey I’m just saying! Have a very cool Thursday folks, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.  George Bernard Shaw

We’ll love you just the way you are if you’re perfect.  Alanis Morissette

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. George Carlin

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?  George Carlin

What’s on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?  Fred Allen

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.  George Burns

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.  Albert Einstein

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.  Benjamin Franklin 

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.   James Thurber  

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful he began to cry. A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. “I feel terrible,” he explained. “I accidently hit this rabbit and killed it.”  The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. 50 feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again, hopped down the road another 50 feet, turned, waved, and hopped another 50 feet. The man was astonished. He couldn’t figure out what substance could be in the woman’s spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, ” What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?” The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: “‘Hare Spray’ Restores Life to Dead Hare. Adds Permanent Wave.” 

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “Say, friend. You got any more of that good sarsaparilla?” 

Answer: The Big Lebowski! “The Big Lebowski” (1998) is a hilarious, cockeyed take on film noir, centering on an ex-hippie who stumbles into playing detective due to a series of bizarre coincidences. The final line of the film is spoken by a man known only as The Stranger (Sam Elliott), a narrator of sorts who speaks directly to the audience at several points in the film. This last line, though, is directed not at the audience, but at a bartender in a bowling alley. 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “And here is your receipt.” 

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Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “Beverly Hills, that’s where I want to be”    

ANSWER:  Beverly Hills! The song “Beverly Hills” comes from Weezer’s 2005 album “Make Believe”.

Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “This place is so empty, my thoughts are so tempting”?

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..  

Changing one letter in each of the following words will make new words that are all related to each other. What are the new words?
Storm
Payable
Cable
Moth

ANSWER: Story, Parable, Fable, Myth

Thursday’s Quizzler is… 

Each of the clues below describe a famous pair (example: Salt & Pepper). Can you name each pair?

1. Jingly sound makers & accompanying sounds heard on the Seven Dwarfs commute
2. Corny phrase used by photographers & thin crisp wafers
3. Small spherical play toy & a letter propagated to many people threatening bad luck unless forwarded
4. Mayberry’s deputy sheriff & hollow round percussion instrument
5. A cheery, cheerful or joyous disposition & a unit of company stock
6. Long slender conifer leaf & message board continuous chain of postings
7. Kevin of “Six Degrees” trivia fame & chicken predecessors
8. Writing implement loaded with ink & bank employee that receives or pays out money
9. A paste made from ground goober peas & sweet spread prepared from Concord Grapes 

 TODAY’S QUIZZMASTERS OF THE DAY AWARD FOR WEDNESDAY ONCE AGAIN GO TO SWEETJAZZ5 AND MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! WAY2GO JAZZZ AND BANKS!

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Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/   http://www.simplycake.biz/