When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
When your opponent is down, kick him.
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
Where you stand depends on where you sit.
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
Why did the Roman Empire collapse? What is the Latin for office automation?
Why is it that there are so many more horses’ asses than there are horses? – G. Gordon Liddy
Why worry about tomorrow? We may not make it through today.
Winning isn’t everything, but losing isn’t anything.
You’re not drunk if you can lay on the floor without holding on.
Hey I’m just saying! Have a great weekend folks, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!
Q u o t e s o f t h e d a y !
“Robert Redford was knighted in France yesterday. I don’t
want to brag, but I was also knighted. Which was a huge
honor because usually, Medieval Times will only do that
on your birthday.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Whenever tourists come to New York City, they always have
two questions. First, ‘Where can we get something to eat?’
And second, ‘What is that smell?'” -David Letterman
“They say it now costs $250,000 to raise a child to age 18,
and that doesn’t count college, which is like $50,000 a
year. So kids, if you want to give dad a great Father’s Day
gift, run away.” -Jimmy Kimmel
G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s
When the famous politician and orator William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925) was a young man, he went to the home of the father of his prospective wife to ask him for her hand in marriage. Bryan was determined to impress the father by quoting from the Bible, and he chose Proverbs 18:22: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.” Bryan was unnerved when the father replied by quoting Paul: “So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.” (1 Corinthians 7:38) Bryan, never at a loss for words, said: “Yes, but Paul had no wife and Solomon had 700. Therefore, I believe Solomon ought to be the better judge as to marriage.”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “Good afternoon, Mr. President. Sorry I’ve been away so long. It won’t happen again.”
Answer: Superman II! Superman (Christopher Reeve) apologizes to the President of the United States as he replaces the part of the roof of the White House that had been severely damaged by three criminals from his home world of Krypton. Most of this 1980 film focused on Superman’s conflict with these criminals, as well as his desire to pursue a romantic relationship with Lois Lane (Margot Kidder).
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? A: “You said you sold this.” B: “I did.” A: “Liar.” B: “Thief.”
Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “We missed you on the charts last week, dog, that’s right, you wasn’t there”
ANSWER: Give It To Me! “Give It To Me” by Timbaland featuring Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake debuted on the American charts in February of 2007. On April 21st, it took a huge leap from number 42 to number one and remained there for two weeks. It was the first number one for Timbaland as a recording artist (he had multiple number ones previously as a producer), the third chart topper for Nelly Furtado and the fourth for Justin Timberlake. The song also went to number one in the United Kingdom and Bulgaria and reached the top ten in a dozen other countries. Timbaland had a number three hit with “The Way I Are” in the summer of 2007. “This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race” by Fall Out Boy went to number two in February, 2007. In 1979, M took “Pop Muzik” to number one.
Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “She’s, like, so whatever, you could do so much better”
Thursday’s Quizzler is..
Solve the two riddles. The answers should be anagrams of each other.
You use me when you want to cook
For friends or family.
But, whether written down or not,
It’s best you stick to me.
I like to think that I’m a skill,
Not just some old technique.
People do me to their ears,
Or nose, or tongue, or cheek.
ANSWER: Thing 1 is a RECIPE. Thing 2 is PIERCE.
Friday’s Quizzler is…
This teaser is split into two sections. The first part requires you to take the letters “ST” and add a word to make a two-word phrase. Example: “A Drink Past Its Sell-By Date” would be “Stale Ale.” You start with “ST” and add the word “ale.”
1. Remaining Unwell
2. An Odd Group of Mountains
3. Hide the Signs of Fire
The second part requires you to do nearly the opposite. Create a two-word phrase by using the same word and adding a “P” to the end. Example: “Backstroked Through the Marsh” would be “Swam Swamp.” You start with the word “Swam” and add the letter “P.”
4. An Incline for Sheep
5. Once an Insect
6. Tenement Deterioration
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS, MR. STEVE SCHICK AND SWEETJAZZ5 FOR SOLVING THIS QUIZZLER! BRILLIANT JOB PEOPLE!
Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ email@example.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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