Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better.
Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.
1. Combatting Stupidity
2. You Too Can Do Housework
3. Resistance to Beer
4. How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray
5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Give Us Credit Cards)
6. Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4:00am
7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (also called “Don’t Wash My Silks”)
9. Get A Life – Learn To Cook
10. How Not To Act Like An Idiot When You Are Obviously Wrong
11. Spelling – Even You Can Get It Right
12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
13. You, The Weaker Sex
14. Reasons To Give Flowers
15. Garbage – Getting It To The Curb
16. You Cannot Always Wear Whatever You Please
17. How To Put Down A Toilet Seat
18. Give Me A Break – Why We Know Your Excuses Are Lies
19. How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without Getting Lost
20. The Remote Control – Overcoming Your Dependency
21. Helpful Posture Hints For Couch Potatoes
22. Mother-in-Laws Are People Too
23. The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous
24. How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children
25. You Too Can Be A Designated Driver
26. Male Bonding: Leave Your Friends At Home
27. Attainable Goal – Omitting Foul Expletives From Vocabulary
28. You Don’t Really Need That Porsche
Hey I’m just saying! Have a wonderful Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“There’s a heat wave in Southern California. It was so hot,
the thermometer at the National Weather Service broke.
That’s ridiculous. I have three meat thermometers at home
that go up to 200 degrees.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“After a lot of speculation, the Chinese government has
decided not to change its one-child policy next year. In
a related story, China just renewed its most popular show,
‘Jon & Kate Plus One and That’s It.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“According to the ‘Wall Street Journal’, researchers at
Harvard have found an enzyme in the brain that regulates
obesity. They said if it wasn’t for our brains, we would
all be thin. That’s why supermodels are so skinny.”
G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s
Noah was told that of all the animals on the ark, only the adders refused to obey God’s command and go forth and multiply. “Well,” said Noah. “I’ll have to ask the Lord what to do about that.” And so he prayed to God and said, “These snakes won’t go forth and multiply” And God said, “Don’t worry. Find some the trees and saw them into logs and create a platform sitting upon four legs. Then put the snakes on the platform.” “But how will that help the snakes?” asked Noah. “Easy,” replied God, “Everyone knows even adders can multiply using a log table!”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “Where did you come from, Planet Loser?” “As opposed to Planet Look At Me, Look At Me?”
Answer: 10 Things I Hate About You! “10 Things I Hate About You” is about two sisters, Kat and Bianca, whose father makes a rule that they are not allowed to date whilst they are still at school. As Kat shows no interest in dating, her father changes the rule to say that Bianca can date if Kat does. This starts a plot at school, by Cameron and Michael, to find someone who will date Kat, who does not appear easy to please, so that Cameron can date Bianca! Bianca says “Where did you come from, Planet Loser?” to her sister, Kat, who chooses not to show any interest in dating anyone, and Bianca cannot understand why. Kat then replies “As opposed to Planet Look At Me, Look At Me?” because Bianca likes to be popular at school. These quotes are said just before Kat and Bianca’s father changes the rule that the girls cannot date, to the rule that Bianca can date if Kat does.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? “Put them (your hands) on the Oodles of Noodles.” “Chicken or beef?””Chicken!”
Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.” “Clickity clank, the money goes into my piggybank”.
ANSWER: That lyric comes from “Piggybank” by 50 Cent.
Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “She named her daughter Alexus”?
Wednesday’s Quizzler is..
Which phrase from group B belongs with the words in group A?
ANSWER: News Event”: it also contains number: lONEly, paTENt, caNINEs, frEIGHTer, arTWOrk, newSEVENt
… not to mention laSIX in the title 😎
Thursday’s Quizzler is…
There are 4 clues below. Each clue is related to a type of candy. You have to try to figure out what each candy is. Good luck!
1. The average worker loves this day.
2. When actors or actresses get a little break.
3. Think of the 4th planet from the sun.
4. Also referred to as ‘geeks’.
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5! INCREDIBLE SOLVING JAZZZZ!
Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ firstname.lastname@example.org. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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