Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

 Welcome, ‏to Wednesday June 30th. EVER WONDER IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, HOW THE FIGHT STARTED?????.

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift… The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”  And that’s how the fight started…

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, ‘do you want to have relations?’ ‘No,’ she answered. I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’  She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying ‘yes.’ So I said, ‘then I’d like to phone a friend.’ And that’s when the fight started…

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.  ‘I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please..’ He said, ‘Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?’ ‘Nah, she can order for herself.’ And that’s when the fight started…

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.  She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’ I said, ‘Dust.’  And then the fight started…

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.’  I bought her a scale.  And then the fight started…

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and  she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, ‘Do you know him?’  ‘Yes,’ She sighed, ‘He’s my old boyfriend… I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.’  ‘My God!’ I said, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’  And then the fight started…

I rear-ended a car this morning…. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it… He was a DWARF!!!  He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!’ So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’  And then the fight started….

FINALLY IN THE GRAND TRADITION OF SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST……THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER….
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.  But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.  I said, ‘When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.’ The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.   Hey I’m just saying!  Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!   

 
q u o t e s  o f  t h e . d a y

“Police in California arrested a couple for trying to sell their baby for $25 at a Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart called the incident horrifying, but also proof of its unbeatable everyday low prices.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Tom Cruise’s underpants dancing scene in ‘Risky Business’ was voted the single greatest scene in film history according to a recent survey of Ricky Martin.” – Craig Ferguson

“The World Cup lets us learn about countries that we may never have learned about. For instance, did you know Slovakians are made out of taffy?” – Jimmy Kimmel

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “My acorn is missing… Did you eat the acorn?…You owe me a new acorn”. 

Answer: The Emperor’s New Groove! “The Emperor’s New Groove”(2000) is an animated Disney movie that tells the story of Emperor Kuzco who gets turned into a llama and must find his way back to the palace with the help of a villager. This quote was said by Kronk, at the very end of the movie when he was teaching “squirrel talk” to a group of scouts.     

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “No, we’re okay, now that we’re not murdered”.

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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “So many people gonna say that they want you, To try to get you thinking they really care, But there’s nothing like the warmth of the one who has put in the time and you know he’s gonna be there, Back your border when she knows someone crossed it, Don’t let nobody put you down, who you’re with Take the pain of protecting your name, from the crutch to the cane to the high wire”   

ANSWER: “In Love with a Girl” – Gavin Degraw.  “That Girl” came out in 2006 by Frankie J and Chamillionaire & Mannie Fresh. This song is rock so “I Love Your Girl” isn’t it because that song is R&B. “In Love with a Girl” came out in February 12, 2008.  

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Never mind what haters say, ignore them ’til they fade away.  Amazing they ungrateful after all the game I gave away. Safe to say I paved the way, for you cats to get paid today. You still be wasting days away now had I never saved the day.  Consider them my protégé, homage I think they should pay. Instead of being gracious, they violate in a major way. I never been a hater still I love them, in a crazy way.” 

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is..  

The following clues each form a unique word by themselves, add them together to get the name of a country. Example: blue and yellow mixed + solid ground = ? Answer:
green + land = Greenland
1. something that will make you sick + an indefinite number = ?
2. half of the width of an em + an organ for secreting = ?
3. a swindle + to move or travel = ?
4. an animal’s shelter + a visible sign = ?  

Answer: 1. germ + any = Germany
2. en + gland = England
3. con + go = Congo
4. den + mark = Denmark    

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…   

Can you discover the missing number in this series?
37, 10, 82
29, 11, 47
96, 15, 87
42, ?, 15  

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Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com.  www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, to Tuesday June 29th. PLEASE READ! Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better even though I have it!! This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden.  As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.  As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.  I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.   I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.  So I decide to put the bills back on the table & take out the garbage first.  But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.  I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.   My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I’d been drinking.   I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.  The Pepsi is getting warm.  I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.  As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye.  They need water. I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.   I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.  I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote, someone had left it on the kitchen table. 

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs.  But first I’ll water the flowers.  I pour some water in the flowers.  Quite a bit of it spills on the floor.  So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.   Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. 

 At the end of the day:  the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a warm can of  Pepsi sitting on the counter,  the flowers don’t have enough water, there is still only 1 check in my check book, I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.   Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day,  and I’m really tired.  YOU see recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail….. Do me a favor.  Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don’t remember who the hell I’ve sent it to. Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming…… Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!   

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “There’s a 30% chance that it’s already raining!”  

Answer: Mean Girls! “Mean Girls”(2004) is about a young girl who was home schooled all her life and is just starting out at a public high school. She becomes popular and eventually alienates all of her true friends. This quote was said by poor air-headed Karen, one of the funniest characters in the movie. Her “special talent” was that her breasts could predict the weather. At the end of the movie, she became the school’s weather forecaster and was shown standing outside in the rain, groping herself.   

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “My acorn is missing… Did you eat the acorn?…You owe me a new acorn”.

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Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “Well you done done me and you bet I felt it I tried to be chill but you’re so hot that I melted, I fell right through the cracks, And now I’m trying to get back, Before the cool done run out, I’ll be giving it my best est. Nothing’s going to stop me but divine intervention, I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some”   

ANSWER: “I’m Yours” – Jason Mraz! “I’m Yours” is from Jason Mraz’s third studio album. The song was first released in the United States on February 12, 2008. The song won two nominations (Grammy Award for Song of the Year, and Best Male Pop Vocal Performance) at the 51st Grammy Awards.  

Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.”  “So many people gonna say that they want you, To try to get you thinking they really care, But there’s nothing like the warmth of the one who has put in the time and you know he’s gonna be there, Back your border when she knows someone crossed it, Don’t let nobody put you down, who you’re with Take the pain of protecting your name, from the crutch to the cane to the high wire”

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Monday’s Quizzler is..  

In this teaser, your task is twofold. You must first complete two (2) 4-letter words, side by side, reading left to right. Secondly, these two words within the brackets must form a 6-letter word when read from right to left. Example: T[A _ _ _ _ A]T Answer: T[ARO GNA]T 6-letter word: ANGORA
1. V[E _ _ _ _ C]K
2. R[E _ _ _ _ D] E
3. T[R _ _ _ _ F]E  

Answer:  1. V[EIL LOC]K 6-letter word: COLLIE
2. R[EDO CED] E 6-letter word: DECODE
3. T[RET LIF]E 6-letter word: FILTER  

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…  

The following clues each form a unique word by themselves, add them together to get the name of a country. Example: blue and yellow mixed + solid ground = ? Answer:
green + land = Greenland

1. something that will make you sick + an indefinite number = ?

2. half of the width of an em + an organ for secreting = ?

3. a swindle + to move or travel = ?

4. an animal’s shelter + a visible sign = ?  

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Answers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD. www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, to Monday June 28th. What a great weekend! Friday June 25 was my birthday and also the day that I promished my wife that I would marry her as soon as I turned 22 years old! I did manage to marry her two days after my 22 second birthday 29 years ago. So as you can guess Sunday was our 29th wedding anniversary! Where has the time gone? I look at my children who have become young adults, who are either in collage or out of collage working on grad school and I just say where did the time go? I look at my life and my living and wonder what defines my life? Is it my job? Is it the materials things? Or is it simply the incredible joy of life and peace of mind that God has given me! I believe that everything that happens in your life will define you and my job is to live, learn the lesson and enjoy the journey. Time leaves us little choice to do otherwise! What a blessing it is simply to wake up today STILL LIVING, having lived, loved and learned. Hey I’m just saying! Have a wonderful Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!  
 
 
q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y 

“A Florida man was run over by his own truck after his dog put the truck in gear. First, it looked like an accident but it turns out the dog was texting.” -Jay Leno
 
“On this date in 1898 New York City became an official city. And on this date in 1968 it became a living hell.” –Dave Letterman 
 
“The iPhone 4 is $499 to buy outright, $199 to upgrade your existing iPhone, and if you don’t want one at all, it’s $99.” -Jimmy Kimmel

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

Fellow employees at the international company where I work know I’m a notary public and have me certify personal documents. One day, two Swedish men asked me to witness signatures on an automobile title. “I’m selling my car to this man,” one of them explained. “We came here because we heard you were notorious.”
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “Why do you need a fake I.D.?” “So I can vote”. 

Answer: The Breakfast Club! “The Breakfast Club”(1985) was a classic teen movie about a bunch of different kids who got stuck in an all-day Saturday detention together. Allison stole Brian’s wallet and found a fake I.D. Andrew asked why he had one, and Brian said that he needed it to vote.  

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “There’s a 30% chance that it’s already raining!”

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Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word, Now in the morning I sleep alone, Sweep the streets I used to own, I used to roll the dice, Feel the fear in my enemies eyes Listen as the crowd would sing: Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key, Next the walls were closed on me, And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand”    

ANSWER: “Viva La Vida” – Coldplay!  All four members of Cold Play wrote this song for their fourth album. The lyrics to the song contain historical and religious references. The song debuted on May 7, 2008. The name of the song translated into English means “Live the Life”.  

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.”  “Well you done done me and you bet I felt it I tried to be chill but you’re so hot that I melted, I fell right through the cracks, And now I’m trying to get back, Before the cool done run out, I’ll be giving it my best est Nothing’s going to stop me but divine intervention, I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some”

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Friday’s Quizzler is..  

Solve the following (simple)word puzzles; the first letter of each correct response will, in order, spell out the name of one my favorite singers.
Bovine + young male=
Equine + grown male=
not smooth + put goods on a shelf =
hotel + relies on others =
beach granules + broom rider=
term of existence + one who protects=
create (a business) + after dinner candy =
canine + Gomer (USMC) =
above + throw a football =
below + dirt =
former spouse + manta ___ =  

Answer: Bovine + young male= cow boy – cowboy
Equine + grown male=horse man – horseman
not smooth + put goods on a shelf = rough stock – roughstock
hotel + relies on others = inn dependent – independent
beach granules + broom rider= sand witch – sandwich
term of existence + one who protects= life guard – lifeguard
create (a business) + after dinner candy =establish mint – establishment
canine + Gomer __ (USMC) = dog Pyle(old TV show) – dogpile
above + throw a football =over pass – overpass
below + dirt =under ground – underground
former spouse + manta ___ = ex ray – x-ray

Making the singer : Chris Ledoux, who won a world championship in saddle bronc riding back in the 1970’s  

Monday’s Quizzler is…  

In this teaser, your task is twofold. You must first complete two (2) 4-letter words, side by side, reading left to right. Secondly, these two words within the brackets must form a 6-letter word when read from right to left.

Example:

T[A _ _ _ _ A]T

Answer:

T[ARO GNA]T 6-letter word: ANGORA

1. V[E _ _ _ _ C]K
2. R[E _ _ _ _ D] E
3. T[R _ _ _ _ F]E  

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Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD. www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, to Friday June 25th.  Top Ten Signs You’re Paranoid……….

10. You run away upon seeing a mall directory that says, “You are here.”

9. Thirty five locks on your sock drawer just aren’t enough.

8. You hire a private eye to keep an eye out on your house, but then fire him because he’s part of the conspiracy.

7. Before you take the garbage cans back from the street, you check them for really short Mafia hit men.

6. You are learning six foreign languages because you just know those people you don’t understand are talking about YOU.

5. You even wonder if the guard dog you hired is secretly plotting against you.

4. You have a funny feeling the voices in your head are plotting behind your back.

3. It takes you three hours each evening to program the household alarms and video surveillance system before you can go to bed.

2. You’re checking off each number on this list as you read.

1. The Witness Relocation Program has told you to stop showing up unless you have an actual reason to.
   
Hey I’m just saying! Have a wonderful Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!   
 
q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y 

“Father’s Day just keeps getting bigger every year, thanks to DNA testing.” – Jay Leno

“The state legislature in Calif. is considering a bill that would allow electronic advertisements on license
plates. I don’t need anything else to distract me while I’m texting.” – Craig Ferguson

“A company in California is coming out with a $44,000 mattress. It will be layered with cashmere, mohair, silk, and then on top of that, a moron who paid $44,000 for a mattress.” – Jimmy Fallon
 
What’s On the Web? 

Parking Lot 3

“Mad parking skillz? We’ll see. Do your best and enter our
leaderboards. How do you stack up, Mr. Parky McParkalot?”

Visit: http://www.addictinggames.com/parkinglot3_hs.html

HAMSTER RACING

The concept of this addictive game is quite simple. Just
use your mouse to help your hamster turn and run around
the loop. See how far you can make it…

Visit: http://www.funny-games.biz/hamster-race.html 

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “Imagine you’re a deer. You’re prancing along. You get thirsty. You put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water – BAM”. 

Answer: My Cousin Vinny! “My Cousin Vinny”(1992) is about a New York lawyer who defends his first case in an Alabama courtroom. His clients are his cousin and his cousin’s friend who were mistakenly arrested for murder. Vinny was planning on going hunting with the prosecutor and asked his girlfriend Mona Lisa for advice on what pants he should wear. She said the deer wouldn’t care what pants he was wearing after he took its head off with a bullet.    

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Why do you need a fake I.D.?” “So I can vote”.

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “I want you to fly with me Want you to fly, I miss how you lie with me, Miss how you lie, Just wish you could dine with me, Wish you could dine…. 

ANSWER: “Right Now” – Akon! This song is about Akon missing his girl but being a secret agent and spying on his old girlfriend. In the music video the song part starts one minute into the video.  

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word, Now in the morning I sleep alone, Sweep the streets I used to own, I used to roll the dice, Feel the fear in my enemies eyes, Listen as the crowd would sing: Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key, Next the walls were closed on me, And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand”

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..  

In this teaser, I have given you 4 words. Beside each word are a series of letter groupings. Your task is to find the answer to the word on the left by choosing one letter from each of the letter groups to the right of each clue.
Example: Statuette: fro evi gse rpu lor nai ngd rep
Answer: Fgo evI Gse rpU loR naI Ngd rEp = FIGURINE

Glasses: ads hjp jje loc tpp art chr awl deg shj
Canteen: cfg ahj fgf rte ttu ioe pro ioi ear
Drink: awq ghu dfa fgh fnq
Main road: hcv dif ggh jkh lwl iay try

Answer: Glasses: s p e c t a c l e s, Canteen: c a f e t e r i a, Drink: q u a f f , Main road: h i g h w a y  

Friday’s Quizzler is…  

Solve the following (simple)word puzzles; the first letter of each correct response will, in order, spell out the name of one my favorite singers.
Bovine + young male=
Equine + grown male=
not smooth + put goods on a shelf =
hotel + relies on others =
beach granules + broom rider=
term of existence + one who protects=
create (a business) + after dinner candy =
canine + Gomer (USMC) =
above + throw a football =
below + dirt =
former spouse + manta ___ = 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. CARRIE PALOMBO! INCREDIBLE SOLVING JOB CARRIE! 

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Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD. www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, to Thursday June 24nd.  Signs You’re Really Broke……

American Express calls and says: “Leave home without it!”

Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a fine restaurant.

You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank.

You’ve rolled so many pennies, you’ve formed a psychic bond with Abe.

Long distance companies no longer call you to switch.

Your credit card companies raised the rates from 6.9% to 24.9%.

You see your roommate as a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.

You receive care packages from Europe.

Your bologna has no first name.

You rob Peter…and then rob Paul.

You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.

You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

You give blood everyday – for the orange juice.

McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.

Consumer Credit Counseling services said “No.”

The neighborhood dog stopped sniffing at your pockets.  
Hey I’m just saying! Have a wonderful Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!   
 
q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y 

“The state legislature in California is considering a bill that would allow electronic advertisements on license plates. I don’t need anything else to distract me while I’m texting.” -Craig Ferguson
 
“The other day in Indiana, a woman burst into tears while she was robbing a Long John Silver’s and told the cashier, ‘If I weren’t down and out, I wouldn’t be doing this.’ Then the cashier told her, ‘That’s what all our customers say.'”-Conan O’Brien
 
“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. –Jay Leno 
  
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes! 
A woman walked into the elevator tossing her keys up in the air and catching them. After one too many tosses, she dropped the keys, and we watched as they disappeared into the crack between the open doors and the floor. I felt terrible for her. Or I did until she cried, “Oh no!  Not again!”  
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “We live in the trenches out there. We fight. We try not to be killed, but sometimes we are. That’s all.” 

Answer: All Quiet on the Western Front! “All Quiet on the Western Front”(1930) tells the story of Paul Baumer and his friends, 18 year old boys who enlisted in the German army in 1914. This quote was just part of Paul’s narrative about life on the front line.    

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Imagine you’re a deer. You’re prancing along. You get thirsty. You put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water – BAM”.

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Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.” “It’s the simple things in life, like when and where, We didn’t have no internet, But man I never will forget, The way the moonlight shined upon her hair”   

ANSWER:  “All Summer Long” – Kid Rock! This song came out April of 2008. This is song number three in his album “Rock N Roll Jesus”. That is his ninth album. In this song he is singing about his teenage romance in the summer of 1989. 

Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I want you to fly with me Want you to fly, I miss how you lie with me, Miss how you lie, Just wish you could dine with me, Wish you could dine….

TODAY’S CRAZY DEFINTIONS DIVA AWARD GOES MS. CARRIE PALOMBO! GREAT SONG SOLVING SKILLS CARRIE!

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..  

Find the two six letter words that are combined in each row of letters. Their letters are in the correct order.
1. JSOYOMFUBELR
2. SCDUARWDRLYE
3. DASNAGEFERTY
4. CLULOOTSCEHN
5. USENEARSEYNE  

Answer:  1. Joyful & Somber
2. Scurry & Dawdle
3. Danger & Safety
4. Clutch & Loosen
5. Uneasy & Serene  

Thursday’s Quizzler is…  

In this teaser, I have given you 4 words. Beside each word are a series of letter groupings. Your task is to find the answer to the word on the left by choosing one letter from each of the letter groups to the right of each clue.
Example: Statuette: fro evi gse rpu lor nai ngd rep
Answer: Fgo evI Gse rpU loR naI Ngd rEp = FIGURINE

Glasses: ads hjp jje loc tpp art chr awl deg shj

Canteen: cfg ahj fgf rte ttu ioe pro ioi ear

Drink: awq ghu dfa fgh fnq

Main road: hcv dif ggh jkh lwl iay try 

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Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD. www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers‏!

 Welcome, to Wednesday June 23nd.  How about a quick look at the top bumper stickers of the day? 

* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?

* He who laughs last thinks slowest.

* Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog… Dorothy

* Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

* I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

* Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

* OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?

* Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.

* I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW..

* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

* Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

* Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
 
Hey I’m just saying! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!   
 
q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y

“This is the first time that two women have been on the International Space Station at the same time. That can only mean one thing: zero-gravity pillow fight.” – Craig Ferguson

“The state of New York recently approved the sale of 192-proof alcohol. Or, for an extra dollar, the liquor store clerk can just punch you in the liver.” – Jimmy Fallon

“A death row inmate from Utah was executed by firing squad. The guy had a choice and he chose a firing squad. The other option was watching ‘The Bachelorette’.” – Jay Leno 

“Whenever tourists come to New York City, they always have two questions. First, ‘Where can we get something to eat?’ And second, ‘What is that smell?'” -David Letterman
 
“They say it now costs $250,000 to raise a child to age 18, and that doesn’t count college, which is like $50,000 a year. So kids, if you want to give dad a great Father’s Day gift, run away.” -Jimmy Kimmel
 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes!
When the famous politician and orator William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925) was a young man, he went to the home of the father of his prospective wife to ask him for her hand in marriage. Bryan was determined to impress the father by quoting from the Bible, and he chose Proverbs 18:22: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.” Bryan was unnerved when the father replied by quoting Paul: “So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.” (1 Corinthians 7:38)  Bryan, never at a loss for words, said: “Yes, but Paul had no wife and Solomon had 700. Therefore, I believe Solomon ought to be the better judge as to marriage.”    
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “As it stands, Plan B is to just keep on givin’r”. 

Answer: Fubar!  “Fubar” (2002) was a mockumentary about an amateur filmmaker creating a documentary of two head-banging, beer drinking friends. Dean said this, and then had to explain to Farrel what “givin’r” meant: you just keep working hard. 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “We live in the trenches out there. We fight. We try not to be killed, but sometimes we are. That’s all.”

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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick” 

ANSWER: I Kissed A Girl!  “I Kissed A Girl” had a meteoric life on the Billboard Hot 100. After debuting at number 76, the song reached number one in its seventh week on June 29th, 2008. It reigned supreme most of the summer and wound up in the top ten for 14 weeks and on the Hot 100 for a total of 23 weeks. The catchy tune lit up the charts in Europe where it hit number one all over including Sweden, Italy, Germany, the Netherlands and the United Kingdom, just to name a few. It was the first single from Katy Perry’s album “One For The Boys” and it was certified as a platinum-selling single in the United States, Australia and New Zealand and went gold in the U.K.  

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “It’s the simple things in life,
like when and where, We didn’t have no internet, But man I never will forget, The way the moonlight shined upon her hair”

TODAY’S CRAZY DEFINTIONS DIVA AWARD GOES MS. CARRIE PALOMBO AND MS KIM HILLYARD! GREAT SOLVING SKILLS CARRIE & KIM!

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is..  

Here are a couple of quotes from Rodney Dangerfield. Can you decode them?
The same code is used for both puzzles.
P=X
“S YIXA TDOAZ KN CTFGAB SC FGSIED LABA VTZ ZHBSIE FGA ZAWBADDSYI. GA DTSZ FGA CSBDF DSP KYIFGD LABA VTZ, FGAI GA EYF HDAZ FY KA.”
“KN LSCA TIZ S LABA GTWWN CYB FLAIFN NATBD. FGAI LA KAF.”  

Answer: “I once asked my father if things were bad during the Depression. He said the first six months were bad, then he got used to me.”

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”

Key: A=E, B=R, C=F, D=S, E=G, F=T, G=H, H=U, I=N, K=M, L=W, N=Y, O=K, P=X, S=I, T=A, V=B, W=P, X=C, Y=O   

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…  

Find the two six letter words that are combined in each row of letters. Their letters are in the correct order.

1. JSOYOMFUBELR
2. SCDUARWDRLYE
3. DASNAGEFERTY
4. CLULOOTSCEHN
5. USENEARSEYNE 

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Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD. www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, to Tuesday June 22nd. Well somewhere out there in this big old world of ours it’s National Pondering Day and here are the top pondering thoughts of the day!
 
The severity of the itch is proportional to inability to the reach it.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A fool and his money are soon partying.

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it’s the scenic route.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Hey I’m just saying! Have a Great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!     
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “So that’s it then? That’s the secret grand adventure… You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum?”  

Answer: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl! “POTC: The Curse of the Black Pearl”(2003) was about a blacksmith who joined forces with a notorious pirate to save the woman he loved and rescue a ship from a bunch of cursed pirates. Elizabeth said this quote to Jack when they were marooned on the island together. She told him that they could escape the same way he did the last time Barbossa left him on an island, and he had to admit that he had only been there for three days before he was rescued by rum runners. As a follow-up to Elizabeth’s line, Jack said, “Welcome to the Caribbean, Love”.   

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “As it stands, Plan B is to just keep on givin’r”.

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Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.” “For some reason I can’t explain, I know St. Peter won’t call my name” 

ANSWER: Viva La Vida! Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida” hit number one in the United States on June 28th, 2008 and spent over 50 weeks on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart. The song also reached number one on several other Billboard charts including the Adult Top 40 and Modern Rock charts. Found on a large number of critics’ lists of the best of the year, “Viva La Vida” was the first number one song by a British artist in America in over ten years, back when the Spice Girls reached the top with “Wannabe”. “Viva La Vida” was successful all across the world reaching the top in the Netherlands and the United Kingdom and hitting the top ten in over a dozen other countries. The song placed at number 13 in Billboard’s ranking of the top hits of 2008.   

Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick”

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Monday’s Quizzler is..  

What is so incredible about the sentence below?

A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed, houghed, and hiccoughed.  

Answer:  There are 10 occurrences of the letters ‘ough’ all with a different pronunciation (though I agree it may depend on where you are from).   

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…  

Here are a couple of quotes from Rodney Dangerfield. Can you decode them?
The same code is used for both puzzles.
P=X

“S YIXA TDOAZ KN CTFGAB SC FGSIED LABA VTZ ZHBSIE FGA ZAWBADDSYI. GA DTSZ FGA CSBDF DSP KYIFGD LABA VTZ, FGAI GA EYF HDAZ FY KA.”

“KN LSCA TIZ S LABA GTWWN CYB FLAIFN NATBD. FGAI LA KAF.” 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. CARRIE PALOMBO! GREAT JOB CARRIE!  

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Answers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD. www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.