1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.
2. The Enterprise visits a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly all right.
3. Some of the crew visit the holodeck, and it works properly.
4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new life-form, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old
life form wearing a funny hat.
5. The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-
stocked Enterprise sick-bay.
6. The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by
the Starfleet Prime Directive.
7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.
8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise’s computer, only to find out
that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.
9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and
competent engineering staff.
10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.
11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some
12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called “Paradise” where everyone is happy all of the time. How-
ever, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems.
13. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area
are able to deal with it to everyone’s satisfaction.
14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected with the Late
15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn’t tragically separated from her at the
end of the episode.
16. Counselor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.
17. The warp engines start going haywire, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from
boy genius Wesley Crusher.
18. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of
one in three sentences that anyone says to him. Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Memorial Day weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.”
– Laurence J. Peter
“There are only two kinds of scholars; those who love ideas and those who hate them.”
– Emile Chartier
“I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.”
– Tom Lehrer
“Dogs in Britain are being trained to sniff out diabetes when their owners’ blood sugar drops. They’re great at it,
but only when diabetes is in your crotch.” -Jimmy Fallon
“According to the latest census survey, the number of people without health insurance has dropped by two million. Duh, they’re dead because they didn’t have health insurance.” –Jay Leno
“Memorial Day Weekend is ahead. I know it’s a few days away, but you want to get a jump on being stuck at the airport for 24 hours.” -David Letterman
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
My daughter Marina worked in my law office while she attended graduate school. One morning a call came in for her. I said she wasn’t in yet and offered to take a message. The caller said she’d phone back later. At 11:00 a.m., the caller tried again, and I reported that Marina had gone to lunch. The last call came in at 3:30 p.m. “I’m sorry,” I said, “she’s left for the day. May I take a message?” “Yes,” the caller replied. “How can I get a job with you?”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “I don’t think you’re supposed to wear white jeans after 1983.”
Answer: Never Been Kissed. These words were said by popular high shool pupil, Gibby Zerefski, after Josie attempted to sit at her table, with the rest of Gibby’s friends. This was also during Josie’s first day back at high school, and she had not quite mastered the dress code of the popular clique. The plot of the 1999 film, “Never Been Kissed” revolved around journalist, Josie Geller (played by Drew Barrymore), who got to go back to high school, as an undercover reporter for the “Chicago Sun-Times”. Despite having been a misfit during her own high school years, after receiving a few tips from her more popular older brother, Rob, (played by David Arquette), Josie’s high school status soared.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? “Imagine! My little girl… regular, at last.”
Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007, try and identify which song or which artist.” “It starts in my toes and I crinkle my nose, where ever it goes I always know that you make me smile.”
ANSWER: “‘Bubbly”- Colbie Caillat. Colbie Caillat is from Malibu, California. “Bubbly” was her first single off her debut album “Coco”.
Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2007 try and identify which song or which artist.” “No need to worry about everything I’ve done, live every second like it was my last one,”
TODAY’S CRAZY DEFINTIONS DIVIA OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! WAY2GOKIM!
Thursday’s Quizzler is..
Each of the following song titles starts with the letter D. Can you decode them? Each of the songs is in the form of an anagram.
1. A Modern
2. Decade Pruner
3. Cancan Deed
4. A Bravely Remedied
5. A Descended Dirtied Trophy
Answer: 1. “Dream On” by Aerosmith, 2. “Dear Prudence” by The Beatles, 3. “Dance, Dance” by Fall Out Boy
4. “Daydream Believer” by The Monkees, 5. “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” by AC/DC
Friday’s Quizzler is…
The following pairs of words can be unscrambled to make two words that go together, like “this & that.” All pairs follow the same theme. Can you determine what they say?
DARK BOG = ______ + ______
COW MEAT = ______ + ______
ASHES SINK = ______ + ______
BRANDY YOKE = ______ + ______
Answers in NEXT TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ email@example.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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