Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, to Friday April 30th.  Well this coming weekend marks the graduation of my daughter Chelsea from Florida A&M. It seem like only yesterday she was a little girl running around the house or outside playing on the swing set. For some reason parents always seem to remember their children from various points in life as they were growing up and my daughter will always be my little girl no matter how old she gets. Congrats, Ms. Chelsea Strayhorn, you deserve the best in life, and I’m incredibly proud of what you’ve accomplished! That’s my story for today and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 

“The Charlie Brown ‘Peanuts’ brand is going to be sold to Joe Boxer for $175 million. Because nothing’s more macho
than a pair of boxer shorts that says ‘Peanuts’ right across the front.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The top executive from Goldman Sachs testified before Congress today, which proves that crooks always return
to the scene of the crime.” – Jay Leno

“If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.” – Albert Einstein 

Guaranteed to make you laugh.. 

Jill tells her husband, “Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morn-
ing, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen
roses. Now, why can’t you do that?” “Gosh,” Jack says, “why I hardly know the girl.”  

__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “My insurance does not cover PMS!” 

Answer: 10 Things I Hate About You. These words were said by Walter to his eldest daughter, Kat, after she purposefully rammed her car into that of slimy male model, Joey. The plot of the 1999 film, “10 Things I Hate About You”, revolved around sisters, Kat and Bianca Stratford, (played by Julia Stiles and Larisa Oleynik). Polar opposites in looks and personality, younger sister Bianca enjoyed life with the popular crowd, while her elder sister, Kat, preferred to remain an unsociable outcast. However after rebellious teenager, Patrick Verona, (played by Heath Ledger), was encouraged to date Kat as part of a bet, the sisters’ lives began to get very interesting. This film was based loosely on the plot of William Shakespeare’s “The Taming of the Shrew”. 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “You’re the first woman I’ve seen in one of these things that dresses like a woman, not like a woman thinks a man would dress if he was a woman.” __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.” “She’s, like, so whatever, you could do so much better” 

ANSWER: Girlfriend. “Girlfriend” was the first release off of Avril Lavigne’s album “The Best Damn Thing” and debuted on the American charts in March of 2007. It reached number one in its eighth week, dislodging “Give It To Me” on May 5th. The song was a worldwide hit reaching number one in Australia, Austria, Ireland, New Zealand and Sweden. It reached number two in the United Kingdom but, surprisingly, only hit number 12 in her home country of Canada. Similarities to the 1979 single “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend” produced a lawsuit which was later settled.       

Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I don’t gotta rap, I can sell a mil’ sayin’ nothing on the track”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Thursday’s Quizzler is..   

Four well known sayings have been reworded below. Can you identify the originals?
Example : Lack of awareness brings elation. (Ignorance is bliss.)
1. Stop sleeping and sniff the java.
2. Fine items approach people who have patience.
3. One should not rate a volume by the lid.
4. Progress to the rhythm of another bongo player      

ANSWER: 1. Wake up and smell the coffee.
2. Good things come to those who wait.
3. Don’t judge a book by its cover.
4. March to the beat of a different drummer.       

Friday’s Quizzler is…   

In this teaser you are required to find a word relating to mathematics hiding in consecutive letters within each sentence. Have fun! Example: “They knew that they had done the wrong thing.”

Answer: ADD located in: “…hAD Done…”

1. He gave his pet serpent a gondola ride.

2. How did the koala cub end up with the kangaroo?

3. Did the kind entomologist pamper centipedes?

4. The scholarship includes tuition but does not cover textbooks. 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD, MS CARRIE PALOMBO AND MS. ANDREA L. BANKS!  GREAT SOLVING JOB LADIES!     

================================================================================================
Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.netwww.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

Welcome, to Thursday April 28th. Confucius Says: Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.

Man who love and loses, have not right lawyer.

When lady say `no´ she mean `perhaps´ when she say `perhaps´ she mean `yes´ but when she say `yes´, she not a lady.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

When man 60 marry girl 25, like buying book for someone else to read.

Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.
Hey I’m just saying. Have a great day people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 

“President Obama and some prominent Democrats proposed a solution to the erupting volcano — they want to pour money into it.” -Jay Leno
 
“They’ve opened an exclusive nightclub in New York City, just for dogs. This is why the rest of the world hates us.” -David Letterman
 
“Apparently the Icelandic volcano crisis cost the airline industry more than three billion dollars. Which explains
why Delta’s new bag-check fee is $400,000.” -Jimmy Fallon    

Guaranteed to make you laugh..  

While working in the library at a university, I was often shocked by the excuses students would use to get out of paying their fees for overdue books. One evening an older student returned two books that were way overdue and threw a fit over the “outrageous” $2 fee that I asked her to pay. I tried to explain how much she owed for each day, but she insisted she should be exempt. “You don’t understand,” she blurted out. “I didn’t even read them!”  

__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “But the thing is, um, what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much.  Just as you are.”  
Answer: Bridget Jones’s Diary.  These words were said by Mark to Bridget at the end of a dinner party, prompting Bridget to remain uncharacteristically quiet. The plot of the 2001 film, “Bridget Jones’s Diary”, revolved around singleton, Bridget’s (played by Renée Zellweger) attempts to find love. After falling for her roguish boss, Daniel Cleaver, (played by Hugh Grant), Bridget spent a few happy weeks planning their future, until the rug was eventually pulled out from under her feet. Meanwhile her parents split up, and her career nosedived, giving her plenty of additional things to worry about. However amidst all the drama, Mark Darcy, (played by Colin Firth), hovered on the sidelines, as the proverbial knight in shining armour, just waiting for an opportunity to sweep Bridget off her feet. 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “My insurance does not cover PMS!” __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.” “We missed you on the charts last week, darn, that’s right, you wasn’t there” 

ANSWER: Give It To Me. “Give It To Me” by Timbaland featuring Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake debuted on the American charts in February of 2007. On April 21st, it took a huge leap from number 42 to number one and remained there for two weeks. It was the first number one for Timbaland as a recording artist (he had multiple number ones previously as a producer), the third chart topper for Nelly Furtado and the fourth for Justin Timberlake. The song also went to number one in the United Kingdom and Bulgaria and reached the top ten in a dozen other countries.       

Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “She’s, like, so whatever, you could do so much better”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is..   

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) a bone in the leg
1b) arboreal mammal, common to Madagascar
1c) to take exception or object

2a) a mixture of liquids, as for medicine
2b) a liquid preparation for cosmetic use
2c) an opinion or view

3a) something having a spiral or twisted form
3b) to hold back or restrain
3c) the thick part of coagulated milk

4a) to beat or damage with repeated blows
4b) to trade by exchange of goods
4c) good-natured witty joking  

ANSWER: 1) femur, lemur, demur
2) potion, lotion, notion
3) curl, curb, curd
4) batter, barter, banter 

Thursday’s Quizzler is…  

Four well known sayings have been reworded below. Can you identify the originals?
Example : Lack of awareness brings elation. (Ignorance is bliss.)

1. Stop sleeping and sniff the java.
2. Fine items approach people who have patience.
3. One should not rate a volume by the lid.
4. Progress to the rhythm of another bongo player     

================================================================================================
Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.netwww.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

Welcome, to Wednesday April 27th. How a look at Murphy’s Laws of Work…… 

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.

Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a darn fool about it.

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.

Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.

If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done. Hey I’m just saying. Have a great day people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 

“Yesterday, a group of scientists warned that because of global warming, sea levels will rise so much that parts of
New Jersey will be under water. The bad news? Parts of New Jersey won’t be under water.” –Conan O’Brien 
 
“It’s always the same with new inventions. I can remember when calculators came out. We weren’t allowed to use them
in school. The teachers would say, ‘Calculators prevent you from learning arithmetic.’ I’d say, ‘I’m going into
show business.’ ‘Well, you’ll need arithmetic to count your crushed dreams.'” -Craig Ferguson
 
“Here’s a great story: A guy in Alaska goes fishing and he catches a 90-year-old fish, a 90-year-old fish. You know,
I look at it this way — if I want a 90-year-old fish, I’ll just order the seafood platter at Red Lobster.”
-Dave Letterman

“There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking.” – Thomas A. Edison

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”
– Robert Frost

“I have such poor vision I can date anybody.” – Garry Shandling 
  

Guaranteed to make you laugh.. 

“Information? I need the number of Caseway Insurance Company.”
“Would you spell that, please?”
“Certainly. That’s C as in cadence. A as in aye. S as in sea.
E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you.”
“Just a minute, sir. I’ll connect you with my supervisor.” 
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven’t slept all night, I’m starved, AND I’m armed! Don’t MESS with me!” 

Answer: Miss Congeniality. These words were said by Gracie, to her colleague, Eric, following her overnight transformation into a woman worthy of entering the Miss United States pageant. The plot of the 2000 film, “Miss Congeniality”, revolved around FBI agent Gracie Hart’s (played by Sandra Bullock) transformation into a Miss United Stats pageant candidate. Despite her tomboy habits, with the help of mentor, Victor Melling, (played by Michael Caine), Gracie managed to not only pass for a real candidate, but also foil a terrorist attempt.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “But the thing is, um, what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.” __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “He said, ‘Son, when you grow up , would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned'” 

ANSWER: Welcome To The Black Parade. “Welcome To The Black Parade” debuted on the American pop chart in September of 2006. Seventeen weeks later, on January 7th, 2008, the song peaked at number nine and went on to spend a total of 26 weeks on the Hot 100. My Chemical Romance was formed in Jersey City, New Jersey in 2001 by Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Frank Iero, Ray Toro and Bob Bryar. Following their success with the platinum-certified album “Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge”, the band released “The Black Parade” on October 23rd, 2006 and watched it rise to number two on the Billboard’s Top 200 album chart. The album spawned four top twenty hits in Britain including “Famous Last Words”, “I Don’t Love You” and “Teenagers”. The single “Welcome To The Black Parade” was easily their most successful worldwide, reaching the top 20 in New Zealand, Finland, Ireland, Australia, Norway, Portugal and Italy.       

Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “We missed you on the charts last week, darn, that’s right, you wasn’t there”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is..   

Customer services at RightWrite headquarters received the following letter recently. Luckily their top puzzle solvers were able to determine the meaning and help Mrs Miggins. Can you work it out what her problem was?
Da S,
ld lk cmlan ab h f m .
hs ls aa n k ccl.
As can s, hs ls a mssng fm hs dcmn.
ld b v gafl f cld cc hs blm fhh.
Man hanks,
Ms Mggns.   

ANSWER: The letter was written on a typewriter which has a problem with the top row of letters – they did not print. The letter should have read:

Dear Sir,
I would like to complain about the top row of my typewriter.
These letters appear not to work correctly.
As you can see, these letters are missing from this document.
I would be very grateful if you could correct this problem forthwith.
Many thanks,

Mrs Miggins. 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…  

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) a bone in the leg
1b) arboreal mammal, common to Madagascar
1c) to take exception or object

2a) a mixture of liquids, as for medicine
2b) a liquid preparation for cosmetic use
2c) an opinion or view

3a) something having a spiral or twisted form
3b) to hold back or restrain
3c) the thick part of coagulated milk

4a) to beat or damage with repeated blows
4b) to trade by exchange of goods
4c) good-natured witty joking 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. CARRIE PALOMBO! GREAT JOB, BRILLIANT WORK!   

================================================================================================
Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.netwww.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, to Tuesday April 27th. Trying to do my share for the environment, I set up a trash basket at my church and posted above it this suggestion: “Empty water bottles here.” I should have been a little more specific, because when I went to check it later, I didn’t find any bottles in it. But it was full of water.  Hey I’m just saying. Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 

“President Obama has cut the space program and we will no longer be sending men to the moon. There has been one big achievement during his time in office. We did put an astronaut on ‘Dancing With the Stars.'” -Jay Leno 
 
“A volcano in Iceland has shut down air travel all across Europe. Apparently they dumped too much baking soda and
vinegar into the thing and it just won’t stop erupting.” -Jimmy Kimmel
 
“Well, 7-Eleven is releasing its own brand of beer. And just in time for Mother’s Day.” -David Letterman
 

Guaranteed to make you laugh.. 

Dad is from the old school, where you keep your money under the mattress—only he kept his in the underwear drawer. One day I bought my dad an unusual personal safe—a can of spray paint with a false bottom—so he could keep his money in the workshop. Later I asked Mom if he was using it.  “Oh, yes,” she replied, “he put his money in it the same day.”  “No burglar would think to look on the work shelf!” I gloated. “They won’t have to,” my mom replied. “He keeps the paint can in his underwear drawer.”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “All I’m saying is, there’s a reason why Sporty Spice is the only one without a fella!”  

Answer: Bend It Like Beckham . These words were said by Jules’ mother, Paula, following another unsuccessful attempt to get her daughter out of wearing her usual football shirt. The plot of the 2002 film, “Bend It Like Beckham”, revolved around two football mad teenagers, Jess Bhamra, (played by Parminder Nagra), and Jules Paxton, (played by Keira Knightley). Despite her passion for the sport, as a woman from a traditional Punjabi Sikh family, Jess was forbidden from playing football. However after having a kick-about in the park, where she met Jules, Jess joined a local team, without the knowledge of her family. But unfortunately for Jess, her secret did not remain hidden for long. Moreover the tournament final was held on the same day as Jess’ sister’s wedding, presenting Jess with a further predicament.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven’t slept all night, I’m starved, AND I’m armed! Don’t MESS with me!”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.” “I could be brown, I could be blue, I could be violet sky” 

ANSWER: Grace Kelly. “Grace Kelly” was released from Mika’s album “Life In Cartoon Motion” in early 2007. While instantly recognizable, the song made only a small impact on the charts in the United States, hitting number 57 on the Billboard Hot 100 and number 13 on Billboard’s Pop 100. In the United Kingdom, the song was an unmitigated smash, spending five weeks at number one and forty weeks on the chart. At the end of the year, it was named the third biggest selling single in the U.K. The song also reached number one in Ireland, Italy and Norway and the top ten in more than ten other countries. Mika has stated that the Freddie in the song refers to Queen lead singer Freddie Mercury.       

Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.”  “He said, ‘Son, when you grow up , would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned'”
__________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Monday’s Quizzler is..   

Can you decode the following phrases? They are NOT regular substitution cryptograms, but they all follow the same rules.
1) Ni lkna rfnim ajnebse xat dn ahta ed tp ecxenia, treceb otdia seb nacgn. ~ Ihtondlr Owsihtni
2) Nilkn arf nima j nebdae, de ram eh tfoo wtf iter. ~ Cesapeek Yameerht
3) No tg nihsaw eg roege no dabana htes u cxe onr. ~ Effoot Rettebsiti

 ANSWER: Read each quote backwards, keeping the same amount of letters in each word!

1) In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes. ~ Benjamin Franklin

2) Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. ~ Benjamin Franklin

3) It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one. ~ George Washington 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…  

Customer services at RightWrite headquarters received the following letter recently. Luckily their top puzzle solvers were able to determine the meaning and help Mrs Miggins. Can you work it out what her problem was?

Da S,

ld lk cmlan ab h f m .

hs ls aa n k ccl.

As can s, hs ls a mssng fm hs dcmn.

ld b v gafl f cld cc hs blm fhh.

Man hanks,

Ms Mggns.    

================================================================================================
Answers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.netwww.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, to Monday April 26th. Think About It…….. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

“To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.”

Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonald’s makes you a hamburger.”

A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous.”

Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.”

“Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.”

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”

“Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked.”

“Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you respond to it.”  Hey I’m just saying. Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to. 

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. 

Muscles come and go; flab lasts. 

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election. 
 
A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.  

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.   

By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it. 

I’m an actor. And I guess I’ve done so many movies I’ve achieved some high visibility. But a star? I guess I still think of myself as kind of a worker ant. 

If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.   
 

Guaranteed to make you laugh.. 

Confucius Says:

Girl who make love in tomb may soon become mummy.

Wise man never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Man who drop watch in toilet have crappy time.

Man trapped in pantry have himself in jam.

Women take to good hearted men. Also from.

Man who pass gas in church must sit in own pew.

Man who shoot off mouth, expect to lose face.

Man with big mouth, beware of foot.  

__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “I feel just like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman”. You know, except for the whole hooker thing.”  

Answer: She’s All That. These words were said by Laney, following her dramatic makeover, courtesy of Zach’s sister, Mackenzie. The plot of the 1999 film, “She’s All That”, revolved around geeky art student, Laney Boggs, (played by Rachael Leigh Cook), and popular jock, Zack Siler, (played by Freddie Prinze, Jr). After being dumped by his girlfriend, Zack accepted his friend’s bet, and made it his mission to turn Laney into a prom queen. Although initially wary, Laney soon warmed to Zack, up until the terms of the bet were revealed. 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “All I’m saying is, there’s a reason why Sporty Spice is the only one without a fella!”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket, but I’ve gotta get a move on with my life.”

ANSWER:  Big Girls Don’t Cry. “Big Girls Don’t Cry” hit number one on September 8th, 2007. It spent an incredible 18 weeks in the top five, 40 weeks in the top 40 and 48 weeks total on Billboard’s Hot 100. “Big Girls Don’t Cry” was the fourth hit off of the album “The Duchess” which hit number two and was certified multi-platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America. The first song, “London Bridge” went to number one as did the third release “Glamorous”. “Fergilicious” got as high as number two and “Clumsy”, the fifh release, made it to number five.      

Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.”  “I could be brown, I could be blue, I could be violet sky”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Friday’s Quizzler is..  

In a sylasearch I give you a syllable-starter, which is the first syllable in the words you are to find. I will also give you a listing of the other syllables that you must use to figure out the 8 words. Syllable List – al, cute, fec, form, fume, i, ma, mis, mit, nent, se, sion, son, tion, ty
Syllable-starter: per
How many syllables each word has:
1. (2)
2. (2)
3. (2)
4. (3)
5. (3)
6. (3)
7. (3)
8. (5)  

ANSWER: Perfume (per fume)
Permit (per mit)
Perform (per form)
Permission (per mis sion)
Permanent (per ma nent)
Persecute (per se cute)
Perfection (per fec tion)
Personality (per son al i ty) 

Monday’s Quizzler is…  

Can you decode the following phrases? They are NOT regular substitution cryptograms, but they all follow the same rules.

1) Ni lkna rfnim ajnebse xat dn ahta ed tp ecxenia, treceb otdia seb nacgn. ~ Ihtondlr Owsihtni

2) Nilkn arf nima j nebdae, de ram eh tfoo wtf iter. ~ Cesapeek Yameerht

3) No tg nihsaw eg roege no dabana htes u cxe onr. ~ Effoot Rettebsiti 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5 AND MS. Andrea L. Banks! INCREDIBLE JOB LADIES.  

================================================================================================
Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.netwww.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

Welcome, to Friday April 23nd. Here’s Even More Thought Provoking Statements for your weekend!

21. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

22. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a butthead from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

24. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

25. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

26. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

27. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! Hey I’m just saying. Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 

“Well, a new study has found that having a cat makes you 40 percent less likely to die of a heart attack. Not that the cat could care less either way, really.” –Jay Leno
 
“A company is now making a cell phone that allows you to talk to your dog. It enables you to talk to your dog. The way it works is that first you have to be insane.” –Dave Letterman
 
“In Virginia lawmakers are considering a law banning people from wearing pants that reveal their underwear in a lewd way. Of course you could get by this law by just not wearing any underwear.” –Craig Ferguson

“Toyota is recalling 600,000 minivans because the spare tire holder can break and the spare tire can go flying down the highway. It’s bad enough Toyota cars can run you off the road — now the parts are chasing you down the street.” – Jay Leno

“On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.” – Woody Allen

“Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.” – Will Rogers 
 

Guaranteed to make you laugh.. 

She had been thinking about coloring her hair. One day while going through a magazine, she came across an ad for a hair coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair a shade that she liked.  Wanting a second opinion, she asked her husband, “How do you think this color would look on a face with a few wrinkles?”  He looked at the picture, crumbled it up, straightened it out and studied it again. “Just great, hon.”  

__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “Don’t you tell me what to see! I see someone in front of me who got his partner in trouble and sent her off to some butcher, while he moved on to an innocent young girl like my daughter!” 

Answer: Dirty Dancing! These words were said by an angry Jake Houseman, to Johnny Castle, after the former mistook the latter as the father of Penny’s baby. The plot of the 1987 film, “Dirty Dancing”, revolved around the youngest daughter of the Houseman family, nicknamed ‘Baby’, (played by Jennifer Grey) and dance instructor, Johnny Castle, (played by Patrick Swayze). While holidaying with her parents and sister, Baby began a relationship with Johnny, after agreeing to stand in for his dance partner, Penny. Unfortunately for the pair, their relationship was frowned upon by most people, especially Baby’s father, who considered Johnny to be a bad influence on his daughter. 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “I feel just like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman”. You know, except for the whole hooker thing.”  

__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.” “When she asks for something boy, she means it. Even if you never ever see it”.

ANSWER:  “Maneater”-Nelly Furtado. From her third album, “Loose.” ‘Maneater’ was the first single to be released from the album.   

Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket, but I’ve gotta get a move on with my life.”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Thursday’s Quizzler is..  

In this teaser your job is to discover what all the words in COLUMN A have in common with each other.

The words in COLUMN B do not have any relationship with COLUMN A or with each other. They are there to help you check your theory for the words in COLUMN A. COLUMN B is also there to eliminate answers that are technically correct, but trivial, such as ‘words with less than 12 letters’, and so on. Good luck!

COLUMN A
1. Rite
2. Oven
3. Hole
4. Ring
5. Itch

COLUMN B
1. Race
2. Boil
3. Held
4. Item
5. Rope 

ANSWER: All the words in COLUMN A can form a new word when preceded by the letter ‘W’.
1. Write  2. Woven  3. Whole  4. Wring  5. Witch  

Friday’s Quizzler is…  

In a sylasearch I give you a syllable-starter, which is the first syllable in the words you are to find. I will also give you a listing of the other syllables that you must use to figure out the 8 words.

Syllable List – al, cute, fec, form, fume, i, ma, mis, mit, nent, se, sion, son, tion, ty

Syllable-starter: per

How many syllables each word has:

1. (2)
2. (2)
3. (2)
4. (3)
5. (3)
6. (3)
7. (3)
8. (5) 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5 AND MS. Andrea L. Banks! INCREDIBLE JOB LADIES.  

================================================================================================
Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.netwww.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, to Thursday April 22nd. Here’s a repeat titled the Differences between men and women. I had to run it again because some of the guys felt that the women just didn’t get the first time!  Remember don’t hate the messenger!

1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and
Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of
them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. 
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.

4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these
items.

5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that… is the beginning of a new
argument.

6.CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

7. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get
the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

8. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

9. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

10. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does. Hey I’m just saying. Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    
   
Quotes of the Day 

“There’s a new comic book coming out about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s life. In the comic, Arnold battles
his life-long nemesis: words.” – Jimmy Fallon

“I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.”
– Steven Wright

“She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.” – Groucho Marx   

Guaranteed to Make You Laff!
——————

A group of foreign dignitaries are visiting Israel. At the end of the tour, they are taken to see the Tomb of the
Unknown Soldier. They look at the tomb and read the following inscription: ABRAHAM SCHWARTZ BORN 5694 DIED 5733 A GOOD MAN AND A GREAT FURRIER. The visitors are incredulous. They ask the guide, “How can this be an unknown soldier if the grave has his name?” Their host responds, “Sure, as a soldier he was unknown, but as a furrier — he was the best!”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “Hi, my name’s Mae, and that’s more than a name, that’s an attitude.” 

Answer: A League of Their Own. These words were said by Mae Mordabito, as she spoke to reporters during a game of baseball. The plot of the 1992 film, “A League of Their Own”, revolved around two sisters, Dottie Hinson, (played by Geena Davis), and younger sister, Kit Keller, (played by Lori Petty). The film documented their introduction into the first ever All-American Girls Professional Baseball League (AAGPBL), and their struggle to remain close, after one sister was pushed out of her team in order to convince the other to stay in the league. 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Don’t you tell me what to see! I see someone in front of me who got his partner in trouble and sent her off to some butcher, while he moved on to an innocent young girl like my daughter!”  

TODAY’S MOVIE TRIVIA MASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MR. STEVE SCHICK!  GREAT JOB STEVE!

__________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.” “It’s hard for me to tell you I love you, as I’m standin’ over your grave.”

ANSWER:”Missing You”-First Lady. First Lady wrote this beautiful song when her boyfriend died. However, she dedicates it to everyone who has ever lost a loved one.         

Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “When she asks for something boy, she means it. Even if you never ever see it”. 

TODAY’S CRAZY DEFINTIONS MASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MR. STEVE SCHICK!  GREAT SOLVING STEVE!

__________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is..  
The U.S. Presidents made some horrible political decisions. They decided to hide from the mob coming after them by hiding in these five sentences. You are hired as a private sleuth to find each of them. Can you find their last names in these five sentences?

1. Ice pops taste the best on hot afternoons.
2. The weird dictator said that he would build magenta dams.
3. The man told his mother that he wouldn’t be home for dinner.
4. I have to fill more of the holes our dog dug in the yard.
5. I was going to take the bus home, but I missed it. 

ANSWER: Answers are indicated with capital letters:
1. Ice pops taste the best on hoT AFTernoons.
2. The weird dictator said that he would build magentA DAMS.
3. The man told his mother that he wouldn’t be home FOR Dinner.
4. I have to FILL MORE of the holes our dog dug in the yard.
5. I was going to take the BUS Home, but I missed it.  

Thursday’s Quizzler is…

In this teaser your job is to discover what all the words in COLUMN A have in common with each other.

The words in COLUMN B do not have any relationship with COLUMN A or with each other. They are there to help you check your theory for the words in COLUMN A. COLUMN B is also there to eliminate answers that are technically correct, but trivial, such as ‘words with less than 12 letters’, and so on. Good luck!

COLUMN A
1. Rite
2. Oven
3. Hole
4. Ring
5. Itch

COLUMN B
1. Race
2. Boil
3. Held
4. Item
5. Rope 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5 AND MS. KIM HILLYARD! INCREDIBLE JOB LADIES.  

================================================================================================
Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.netwww.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.