Welcome, to Wednesday, April 1st! CAN YOU BELEIVE THIS? Has anyone else gotten these emails? I am Mrs. Zeng Q. Zhen, a staff of Lloyds TSB Group Plc. here in Hong Kong attached with Private Banking Services; I have a secured business proposal for you. Should you be interested please reach me on my private email address:(firstname.lastname@example.org) And after that I shallprovide you with more details of my proposal. Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated. Yours Sincerely, Zeng Zhen. I get these all the time, in my junk mail and sometimes they slip through my regular email, but really COME ON! Does anybody really respond to these people like they are real? Can you imagine a group of people sitting around in Japan going hey why don’t we send email so stupid people in America will send us money! Hey I’m just saying. Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!
Quotes of the Day
“Wikipedia was offline after an overheating problem at one of its data centers. It was pretty bad. For a while
there, people had nowhere to go for phony, inaccurate information.” – Jay Leno
“Happy birthday to Leonard Nimoy, who turned 79 today. He celebrated by punching anyone who told him to live long and prosper.” – Jimmy Fallon
“[Roger] Corman is the king of low budget filmmaking. He’s famous for cheap sets, second-hand costumes, bad
lighting… Does he produce this show by any chance?”- Craig Ferguson
Joke of the day
TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO HAS HAD ENOUGH ! ! !
If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We refuse to answer.
Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, put it down.
If you won’t/don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
Don’t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys
fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you’re stuck with her.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.
Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is not a sport, and no, we’re never going to think of it that way.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “I wish I knew how to quit you.”
Answer: Brokeback Mountain. Jack Twist (played by Jake Gyllenhaal) says this to Ennis Del Mar (played by Heath Ledger) when their relationship has become too difficult to continue. Twist wants to stop their relationship but is having difficulty. Twist and Del Mar are two cowboys who fall in love while hired to tend sheep. The movie is based on the book by E. Annie Proulx.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? “I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.”
Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006, try and identify which song or which artist.” “Lately, I’ve been tryin’ to fight whatever’s pullin’ us under, it’s got a hold and really makin’ me wonder.”
ANSWER: “Ride for You” – Danity Kane That lyric is from “Ride for You” by Danity Kane. Danity Kane was discovered by MTV and their first hit was “Show Stopper.”
Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I saw you with your new girl just yesterday, and I feel that I must confess.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is..
Yeah, they keep me locked up, but I guess I’m thankful, in short.
I hand out the beatings, while my neighbors import and export.
We make a good team, especially me as the muscle,
But with two dozen guards, I’m glad we never tussle.
But really, I got a lotta my own connections,
Imports, exports, with thousands collectin’.
But between us, there’s really no competition,
I call it harmonizin’ cause we’re on the same mission.
No one is unnecessary, or, you know, too small,
The guy upstairs is the boss of it all.
He’s also incarcerated, but for his good I bet it is,
Business is good, so long as we get the messages.
Question: Who’s doing the talking, and who are the other players in this riddle? (there are a total of 28, minus the narrator’s connections)
ANSWER: The parentheses are used to number the parts mentioned. The HEART (1) is the one doing the talking. He is thankful to be “locked up” or guarded by the “two dozen guards,” the (24) ribs that normal humans have in 2 pairs. The ribs protect, and guard both the heart and the LUNGS. The LUNGS are the ‘neighbors’ (2) that have the job of “Importing” and “Exporting” Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide. The heart is- literally speaking- the muscle, and ‘hands out the beatings’ (heart beats). Of course, the heart itself has many “connections” or veins, arteries, and capillaries that “import” and “export” that valuable fluid we call blood. None of these members’ job is unnecessary, or small, and they never compete with each other because they have the one mission of keeping a person alive. And, last but not least, the “guy upstairs” who is “the boss of it all” is ‘incarcerated’ by-yes-the skull. He is none other than the BRAIN (1), which sends electrical messages to all the other members via nerves, which tell them what to do. Business is good so long as these messages are sent. If they aren’t, nothing is moving, and….well, then you’re DEAD. (28)
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…
We’ve all seen a rebus like “midstuckdle” (stuck in the middle). The following clues are “revrebuseserse” (rebuses in reverse). That is, the clues below are answers to rebuses which all use the “in” construction. However, the original rebus from the clues below will actually form a word. For example, “Not old in actually existing” would be “renewal” (new in real). Can you solve the rest?
1. A short poem in scarlet
2. A room-dividing structure in a female pig.
3. A joining word in a close friend
4. A head of corn in grasping tightly
5. Nothing in what your eyes do
6. A wild beast’s shelter in stinking decay
Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ email@example.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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