Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

Welcome, to Thursday, January 28th! Today the Eucman brings you lessons to be learned from typing the wrong email address.  A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife

Subject: I’ve arrived Date: May 9th, 2005

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!  
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!   
  
Quotes of the Day  

“The economy is horrible, isn’t it? Just horrible. Everyday there are little reminders that jump right in your face
and remind you how bad the economy is. This morning, I wake up, I go downstairs. The Starbucks that was in my living room has closed.” –David Letterman
 
“The Washington Post says the drug Botox could be the newest weapon used by terrorists. Botox is short for Botulinum Toxin and a speck of toxin the size of a grain of sand could kill a 150-pound adult. Fortunately, I haven’t weighed 150 pounds since I was nine.” -Jimmy Kimmel
 
“Natives on the Pacific island of Vanuatu recently apologized to the great-great-grandson of a missionary who
their ancestors ate 170 years ago. Witnesses describe the conversation as ‘awkward.'” -Conan O’Brien 

Joke of the Day*

Rushing to work, I was driving too fast and as a result was pulled over by the highway patrol. The state trooper noticed that my shirt had the name of a local high school on it. “I teach math there,” I explained. The trooper smiled, and said, “Okay, here’s a problem. A teacher is speeding down the highway at 16 m.p.h. over the limit. At $12 for every mile, plus $40 court costs, plus the rise in her insurance, what’s her total cost?” I replied, “Taking that total, subtracting the low salary I receive, multiplying by the number of kids who hate math, then adding to that the fact that none of us would be anywhere without teachers, I’d say zero.” He handed me back my license. “Math was never my favorite subject,” he admitted. “Please slow down.” 

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “Well, if you’re going to London, and you’re going to London then I’m going to London.”   

Answer: Husbands. John Cassavetes (who also wrote and directed), Peter Falk (TV’s ‘Columbo’) and Ben Gazarra play Gus, Archie, and Harry, respectively who, while mourning the death of their friend, go on an out-of-control, forty-eight-hour, drinking bender. During a boisterous drinking contest Archie, referring to Harry, says, “That’s quite a humor you have”. With Gus and Harry having already made their decisions, Archie proclaims, “Well, if you’re going to London…” After an evening in a London casino, the three friends return to their hotel suite, with young ladies in tow, Gus places a telephone order with room service: “Anybody want any turtle soup?…” 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from????”John, I’m glad you called. I’ve got Bobby Baboon in lock-up and he says that for twenty bananas he’ll provide evidence that Johnny Chimpo is the pimp in charge of the Cartoon Network whorehouse.”   

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Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs fromfrom 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Well if a no today girl then a must be tomorrow When you fulfill my fantasy Because you know I give you lovin’ straight like an arrow” 

ANSWER: Give It Up To Me. “Give It Up To Me” by the Jamaican reggae and dancehall artist, Sean Paul.
You might recognize this song from the soundtrack to the dance movie “Step up”. In the version on the soundtrack, the song featured Keyshia Cole.    

Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I don’t wanna do this anymore I don’t wanna be the reason why Everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside”   

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..

What well known quote is shown below?

THIS
food (possible)
drink (possible)
taxes (definitely)
holidays (possible)
promotions (possible)
dying (definitely)
pets (possible)
friends (possible)
WORLD

ANSWER:In this world there are only two certainties, death and taxes. B.Franklin (Famous American Kite Flyer)   

 
Thursday’s Quizzler is…

What phrase does this rebus represent?

H
HI
HIS
HIST
HISTO
HISTOR
HISTORY

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. CARRIE PALOMBO AND SWEETJAZZ5!
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Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.com. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.netwww.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.    Are you open to evaluate an opportunity to make some extra money?  http://strayhorn.acnrep.com

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

Welcome, to Wednesday, January 27th! Just when you thought that you’d had enough, today we take another look at Things Hidden in a Secret Government Warehouse… Part 3.

A mountain of letters addressed to Santa Claus

One kite, string, and key that are scorched

In a corner a Zoltar Fortune Telling Machine

Yoko Ono’s talent

Michael Jackson’s original nose

The original blueprints for building the Great Pyramid of Egypt

A telephone book for the Planet Mars

The original magnifying glass used by Sherlock Holmes

A bottle of smoke from the Chicago Fire

The real contents of Al Capone’s Vault

A bottle of the “Andromeda Strain” Virus

The bones of the Loch Ness Monster

Snake Plisken’s death certificate
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!   
  
Quotes of the Day  

“We’ve a had a lot of fun being here these last seven months, but like everything in life, the fun has to come
to an end a decade too early.” – Conan O’Brien

“A man in the UK was banned from a public park after he tried to have sex with a tree. I don’t know about you,
but I think Al Gore has finally gone too far.” – Jimmy Fallon

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.” – Dean Martin  

Joke of the Day* 

The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.”Steve,” his wife said, while reading the newspaper, “it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to eliminate six overaged destroyers.”To which the husband replies, “Sorry to hear that, dear. I’m sure you’ll miss your mother being gone.” 

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “I bought you a six pack and a bra in the same shop.”
 

Answer: Sid and Nancy. Billed as a sort of punk “Romeo and Juliet”, Alex Cox’s harrowing and often hilarious film follows the drug-addled exploits of bass player Sid Vicious (Gary Odman), of the English punk band, The Sex Pistols, and his girlfriend, groupie Nancy Spungen (Chloe Webb). Director Cox wrote the screenplay with his then-girlfriend, Abbe Wool. Before performing a concert on a chartered boat in The Thames River, Sid informs Pistols singer Johnny Rotten about his plan for a “…tattoo on my head…” before smacking himself hard in the face. Touring America with The Sex Pistols, Sid telephones Nancy in England. When asked if he has bought her any presents he proclaims “I bought you a six pack and a bra in the same shop!” After flames engulf their hotel room, Sid Vicious and his girlfriend Nancy are moved to a different room, where the decrepit hotel bellman holds his hand out for a tip, informing them that “Bob Dylan was born here.”  

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Well, if you’re going to London, and you’re going to London then I’m going to London.”

 
TODAY’S MOVIE TRIVIA MASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MR. STEVE SCHICK! GREAT JOB STEVE!

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Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs fromfrom 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Oh baby when you talk like that You make a woman go mad So be wise and keep on Reading the signs of my body” Which two talented artists sang this duet?

ANSWER: Shakira and Wyclef Jean. Being the big summer hit, it broke the record possessed by Gwen Stefani of the most played song on the radio in pop history. For one week it was played 9,657 times.    

Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Well if a no today girl then a must be tomorrow When you fulfill my fantasy Because you know I give you lovin’ straight like an arrow” 

TODAY’S CRAZY DEFINITIONS MASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MR. STEVE SCHICK! BRILLIANT JOB STEVE!

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is..

The abbreviation used for Australian websites is “au” (instead of “.com”). The answers to the following clues all use this abbreviation. The clues do not refer to the words themselves, rather they refer to the word that must be added to the “au”.

1. What might happen to you if you stay out in the Australian sun too long.
2. A strong Australian breeze.
3. Australian seasoning.
4. The Australian god of thunder.   

ANSWER: 1. auburn, 2. august, 3. auspice, 4. author   

 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…

What well known quote is shown below?

THIS
food (possible)
drink (possible)
taxes (definitely)
holidays (possible)
promotions (possible)
dying (definitely)
pets (possible)
friends (possible)
WORLD
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Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.com. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.netwww.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.    Are you open to evaluate an opportunity to make some extra money?  http://strayhorn.acnrep.com.

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, to Tuesday, January 26th! Yesterday I went into my bank and a new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: “Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:

 

MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

Hey that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!   
  
Quotes of the Day  

“Although a lot of people are on these low-carb diets, doctors say be careful, because you need carbohydrates
because carbohydrates create a chemical in your brain that cheers you up and fights depression. So the next time you
see a guy on a ledge, about to jump… throw him a doughnut.” –Jay Leno
 
“A woman in California is being studied because she says she remembers everything from the last 12 years. And I’m
thinking, ‘Wait a minute — isn’t that every woman?'” -Dave Letterman
 
“This week a man in Florida was arrested for hitting the manager of a Taco Bell in the face with a bag full of
Tacos. Afterwards, the Taco Bell manager said, ‘It’s weird, my tacos usually don’t attack me until I’m in the bathroom.'”
-Conan O’Brien

Joke of the Day* 

Everything about county customs delighted my neighbors, who had moved to our small town from the city. One day they
spotted a sign, “Fresh Eggs For Sale” at a roadside stand where payment was on the honor system. “Why can’t everyone be this trusting?” they said as they put their money into the box and took a carton. When they got home and opened it, they found 11 eggs. 

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “We’ve been on the moon since the fifties. You wanna know how — anti-grav-drive. Antigravity drive, we stole it from the nazis after World War Two, its perfectly obvious.”

Answer: Slacker. Spend a day with the slackers of Austin, Texas, as one after another pontificates on subjects ranging from anarchy to Smurfs, in Richard Linklater’s inventive directorial debut. “We’ve been on the moon…” is one of the many off-the-wall assertions of a science-fiction-nut type slacker as he follows a young guy through a residential Austin neighborhood.  

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “I bought you a six pack and a bra in the same shop.”
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Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 and these were the most memorable lyrics heard on pop radio all across America.” Song Number One: “I never really knew that she could dance like this, she make a man want to speak Spanish”. Shakira showed us she still sizzled with this smash that hit number one all over the world. Can you read the “signs of her body” and come up with this club classic?  

ANSWER: Hips Don’t Lie. “Hips Don’t Lie” debuted at number 84 on April 1st, 2006 on the American pop charts. It steadily climbed all the way to the top when it jumped from number 9 to number one on June 17th where it stayed for two weeks. It remained on Billboard’s Hot 100 for 31 weeks, long enough to earn it fifth place in their list of 2006’s most popular songs. Its measure of international success may be unparalleled, hitting the top in most of Europe and South America with 16 weeks on top of the World Singles Top 40 chart. “Don’t Bother” by Shakira hit number 42 in 2005. Eminem with Nate Dogg had a number six hit in 2006 with “Shake That”. “La Isla Bonita” went to number four for Madonna in 1987. FUN FACT: “Hips Don’t Lie” made Shakira the first South American artist to top the American pop chart.    

Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Oh baby when you talk like that You make a woman go mad So be wise and keep on Reading the signs of my body” Which two talented artists sang this duet? _________________________________________________________________________
Monday’s Quizzler is..

Beethoven was a lover of teasers of all kinds, and often submitted the following to his friends.
What word can be created when following these directions?

1) Start at D.
2) Go up Eight.
3) Go down Eleven.
4) Go up Five.

What word is it?  

ANSWER: Deaf.  

 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…

The abbreviation used for Australian websites is “au” (instead of “.com”). The answers to the following clues all use this abbreviation. The clues do not refer to the words themselves, rather they refer to the word that must be added to the “au”.

1. What might happen to you if you stay out in the Australian sun too long.
2. A strong Australian breeze.
3. Australian seasoning.
4. The Australian god of thunder. 
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Answers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.com. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.netwww.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.    Are you open to evaluate an opportunity to make some extra money?  http://strayhorn.acnrep.com.

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, to Monday, January 25th!  Well I hope that everybody had a great weekend cuz today we start the week off with the…

TOP 13 MOST USED LIES

13. The check is in the mail.

12. You get this one, I’ll pay next time.

11. You look great.

10. Of course I love you.

9. It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the thing.

8. …but we can still be good friends.

7. Don’t worry, were not lost — I KNOW where I’m going.

6. In this car, I can always go another 20 miles when the gauge is on “empty.”

5. Don’t worry, he’s never bitten anyone.

4. I’ll call you later.

3. I’ve never done anything like this before.

2. I’m from your government, and I am here to help you.

1. I DO   
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!   
  
Quotes of the Day  

“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” –Bertrand Russell 
 
“The one human quality that must be developed is self discipline for success. The will power to force yourself to do what you know you should do when you should do it, whether you like it or not, whether you feel like it or not. Success is tons of discipline.” -Brian Tracy 
 
“Once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing, he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility
and procrastination.” –Thomas De Quincey   

Joke of the Day*

Tarzan and Jane were expecting their fourth child and were pretty strapped for cash, so Tarzan decided to go into the used-crocodile business. Monday morning he got up early, shaved, put on his best loin cloth, swung down to the river, and spent the whole day fighting, haggling over and hassling with cranky crocs.  As dusk fell, a wan Tarzan swung back to the treehouse and demanded, “Quick, Jane, a martini!” Tossing it back he barked, “Another, Jane, on the double!” Gulping it down, he held out his glass again. “One more, Jane.” “Aw, honey, don’t you think you’re overdoing it a bit?” she chided gently. “You don’t understand, Jane… it’s a jungle out there.”  

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “My grandmother used to say America’s a big melting pot, when you stir it all the scum rises to the top.”    

Answer: Down By Law. Directed by Jim Jarmusch, singer Tom Waits (Zack), musician John Lurie (Jack), and Italian funny-man Robert Benigni (Bob), form a reluctant and hilarious alliance after meeting in and escaping from a Louisiana prison.  One of Jack’s working girls proclaims, “My grandmother used to say..” as she lies in bed trying, and failing, to get Jack’s attention.  “You throw ball against me…” Italian Bob explains to cell mates that he killed a man by throwing a billiard ball — the 8 — after several people started throwing them at him.  In response to Bob’s assertion that he is in jail for murder, his other cell mate, Zack, asks, “What’s the matter, Bob…”  

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “We’ve been on the moon since the fifties. You wanna know how — anti-grav-drive. Antigravity drive, we stole it from the nazis after World War Two, its perfectly obvious.”

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Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs fromfrom 2006 and these were the most memorable lyrics heard on pop radio all across America.” Song Number Two: “My life is brilliant, my love is pure, I saw an angel, of that I’m sure”. …begins this tale of a fleeting moment between a guy and a girl in the subway. Love it or hate it, this single struck a chord with the masses as it rocketed to number one in more than a half dozen countries. What rueful hit did James Blunt take to the top in the U.S. on March 11th, 2006?  

ANSWER: You’re Beautiful.  “You’re Beautiful” took quite a leisurely path to number one, having debuted on the Hot 100 at the end of 2006 and reaching the top in its 18th week. The song collected 15 weeks in the top ten, 29 weeks in the top 40 and 38 weeks on Billboard’s Hot 100. The song crossed over to the Adult Contemporary chart where it also reached number one. It’s omnipresence on the radio along with its vulnerable lyrics inspired a string of parodies like “Weird Al” Yankovic’s “You’re Pitiful”. Despite this, the song managed to garner three Grammy Award nominations including both Record and Song of the Year.  “Goodbye My Lover” was a number 66 pop hit for James Blunt in 2006. Fort Minor had a number four record with “Where’d You Go” on 2006. “Angel Of Harlem” by U2 reached number 14 in 1989.  FUN FACT: “You’re Beautiful” hit number one in six European countries-the U.K., Belgium, Ireland, Norway, Sweden and the Netherlands.     

Monday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 and these were the most memorable lyrics heard on pop radio all across America.  Song Number One: “I never really knew that she could dance like this, she make a man want to speak Spanish”. Shakira showed us she still sizzled with this smash that hit number one all over the world. Can you read the “signs of her body” and come up with this club classic? ____________________________________________________________________________________ 

Friday’s Quizzler is..

Today’s Lecturers:
Mr. Present
Mr. Right
Mr. Here

Tomorrow’s Lecturers:
Mr. Later
Mr. Gone
Mr. Future 

ANSWER: Here today, gone tomorrow. 

 
Monday’s Quizzler is… 

Beethoven was a lover of teasers of all kinds, and often submitted the following to his friends.
What word can be created when following these directions?

1) Start at D.
2) Go up Eight.
3) Go down Eleven.
4) Go up Five.

What word is it?
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Answers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.com. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.netwww.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.    Are you open to evaluate an opportunity to make some extra money?  http://strayhorn.acnrep.com

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, to Friday, January 22th! Hey it’s Friday how about Things Hidden in a Secret Government Warehouse… Part 2?   

A blackboard with equations that prove that time *is* money

The squadron of jet powered Spruce Geese

Amelia Earhart’s flight jacket

The Terminator’s arm

Beethoven’s Eleventh Symphony

A tight-fitting blue costume with a big red “S” on the chest

The center of a tootsie roll pop

The Heart of Gold

The “magic gun” that fired the “magic bullet” that killed JFK

A searchlight with the silhouette of a bat on it

The “sets and costumes” that were used to film the Apollo Moon Landing

The FBI and CIA files detailing the Career of “Special Agent Elvis”
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have wonderful weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!   
  
Quotes of the Day  
“Hi, I’m Conan O’Brien, and I’m just three days away from the biggest drinking binge in history.” – Conan O’Brien

“Yesterday, there were rallies for me in cities across the country, including in Chicago. You can tell things are bad
when even Cubs fans feel sorry for you.” – Conan O’Brien

“I just read that President Obama plans to deliver his State of the Union address next Wednesday, January 27.
Until then he’s just at home going, “Please everything get better by Wednesday, please get better by Wednesday…”
– Jimmy Fallon
 

Joke of the Day*

Jim was just out of Navy boot camp, and was on his first ship. About two hours out of port, he began to get a bit
ill from the motion of the ship. He approached an ensign, also just out of training and on his first cruise. He
saluted and said, “Excuse me sir, I am feeling seasick, and I wondered if I may have permission to go downstairs
to the dispensary.” The ensign returned his salute and replied, “Sailor, you are in the Navy now. You don’t go downstairs, you go below! There is no dispensary on this ship, there is sickbay. Not only that, that is not the floor, it is a deck, that is not
the ceiling, it is the overhead, that is not a pillar, it is a stanchion, that is not a water fountain, it is a scuttlebutt. If I ever hear you using civilian words instead of Naval jargon, I till throw you out of that little round window over there.”  

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “Kid, you look a thousand miles in every direction from Tennessee to Toronto, I go back roads just about every place, never touch any of the state, never see one darn cop. Besides, this ain’t fast.”

  
Answer: At Close Range. Also based on a true story, Brad Whitewood,Jr. (Sean Penn) is taken under his estranged father’s wing (Christopher Walken), and welcomed into the family, a family of thieves who will resort to anything to get what they want.
“…to some people…” is estranged father Brad Whitewood’s response when his son Brad, Jr. says he heard that his father is a thief. When Brad Jr. then changes the subject to his father’s high-speed driving, asking if he is worried about getting a ticket, the elder Whitewood offers, “Kid…”. “Why don’t you and me…” is what Uncle Patch suggests to Brad Jr. with regards to starting their own criminal empire. 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “My grandmother used to say America’s a big melting pot, when you stir it all the scum rises to the top.” 

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Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs fromfrom 2006 and these were the most memorable lyrics heard on pop radio all across America.” .” Song Number Three: “To the left, to the left, everything you own in the box to the left”. Beyonce sends her boyfriend packing in this hit record which topped the R&B/Hip-Hop and Dance Club charts not to mention the Billboard Hot 100 where it spent ten weeks at number one. Do you know the name of this multi-platinum single? 

ANSWER: Irreplaceable. On November 4th, 2006, “Irreplaceable” debuted at number 87 on the Billboard Hot 100. In its seventh week, on December 16th, it reached number one and held that spot well into 2007 during its ten week run. Accumulating 16 weeks in the top ten during its 30 week journey on the Hot 100, “Irreplaceable” went on to become the number one song of 2007 according to Billboard’s year end survey. The song earned its share of critical praise including a Grammy nomination for “Song Of The Year”. Around the world, “Irreplaceable” took over number one in Australia, Ireland and New Zealand not to mention reaching the top ten in Italy, Portugal, Holland, the U.K., Norway, Switzerland and France. In a duet with Shakira, Beyonce took “Beautiful Liar” to number three in 2007. “What’s Left Of Me” was a number six hit for Nick Lachey in 2006. Mary J. Blige had a number three record with “Be Without You” in 2006.  

Friday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 and these were the most memorable lyrics heard on pop radio all across America   Song Number Two: “My life is brilliant, my love is pure, I saw an angel, of that I’m sure”. …begins this tale of a fleeting moment between a guy and a girl in the subway. Love it or hate it, this single struck a chord with the masses as it rocketed to number one in more than a half dozen countries. What rueful hit did James Blunt take to the top in the U.S. on March 11th, 2006?

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..

Fill in the sentence below so that the first two words combine to make the third word. For example, given “The _____ of the group was extremely _____, not just physically, for he was also particularly _____”, you would fill in HEAD, STRONG, and HEADSTRONG.

The guilty _____ fitted the classic _____ for such a character, highlighted by the fact that he looked to constantly _____ his next move. 

ANSWER: CON, TEMPLATE, CONTEMPLATE   

 
Friday’s Quizzler is… 

Today’s Lecturers:
Mr. Present
Mr. Right
Mr. Here

Tomorrow’s Lecturers:
Mr. Later
Mr. Gone
Mr. Future
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Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.com. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.netwww.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.    Are you open to evaluate an opportunity to make some extra money?  http://strayhorn.acnrep.com.

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, to Thursday, January 21th! Hey, since we’re now living in the time of e-mail (and blogs and texts and Tweets) and the more common use of the written language, it is time for an English lesson. So, with tongue firmly in cheek, here are MORE some rules to keep in mind when using the Queen’s Engerlish:
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don’t use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is probably not the best way to propose earth shattering ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.
34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have wonderful day people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!   
  
Quotes of the Day  

“Just the other day I sent the girlfriend a huge pile of snow…I rang her up and said, ‘Did you get my drift?'” –Peter Kay 
 
“Always and never are two words you should always remember
never to use.” –Wendell Johnson
 
“There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.” –Ogden Nash 

Joke of the Day*

A number of years ago, we had a rather pompous pastor. One Sunday morning when he called for the offertory, he folded his hands across his chest and intoned, “Ask and ye shall receive; seek and ye shall find; knock and it will be opened unto you.” Then he spread his arms wide and called, “Therefore…come unto the Lord all ye askers, seekers and knockers.”      

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “But we eat the same things. Like, if I have a pork-chop, she has a pork-chop, if I have a veal, she has a veal.”

 
Answer: Talk Radio. After learning his Dallas-area talk show is going to be broadcast nationally, controversial radio host Barry Champlain (Eric Bogosian) goes against the advice of those around him to soften his approach, which only further fuels the hatred for him by his bizarre litany of callers. Based on the novel, “Talked to Death: The Life and Murder of Alan Berg”, by Stephen Singular, the screenplay was co-written by Bogosian and director Oliver Stone. “But we eat the same things…” one of the callers to Night Talk tells controversial radio host Barry Champlain about his cat’s eating habits. “Is there a place called Fiji…” This is the question put to Champlain by Kent, a teenaged caller who tries to convince the skeptical radio host that while his parents vacation in Fiji, he has been partying with his girlfriend, who now won’t wake up.  Champlain mumbles to “Get back in your cage” after signing an autograph for an overzealous fan. 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Kid, you look a thousand miles in every direction from Tennessee to Toronto, I go back roads just about every place, never touch any of the state, never see one darn cop. Besides, this ain’t fast.”

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Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs fromfrom 2006 and these were the most memorable lyrics heard on pop radio all across America.”  Song Number Four: “Gettin’ born in the state of Mississippi, papa was a copper, and mama was a hippy”.  This popular tune about a woman who was “a lover, baby and a fighter” was number one on the Modern Rock chart for ten weeks. Do you recognize this worldwide smash by the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

ANSWER: Dani California. “Dani California” bowed on the Billboard Hot 100 in April of 2006. On its way to peaking at number six on the pop chart, it remained in the top 40 for 24 weeks and the Hot 100 for 26 weeks, landing it at number 23 of the most popular songs of the year. The song was nominated for three Grammy Awards including two wins for Best Rock Song and Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal. Its success worldwide included reaching number one in Denmark and Italy and the top ten in a dozen other countries including the U.K., New Zealand and Australia. “Snow ((Hey On))” hit number 22 in 2007 for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Pearl Jam had a number 41 song in 2006 with “World Wide Suicide”. “Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynyrd Skynyrd reached number eight in 1974.

Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 and these were the most memorable lyrics heard on pop radio all across America.” Song Number Three: “To the left, to the left, everything you own in the box to the left”. Beyonce sends her boyfriend packing in this hit record which topped the R&B/Hip-Hop and Dance Club charts not to mention the Billboard Hot 100 where it spent ten weeks at number one. Do you know the name of this multi-platinum single?

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..

Can you decipher this common phrase:

PICT RES

ANSWER: You ought to be in pictures. 

 
Thursday’s Quizzler is… 

Fill in the sentence below so that the first two words combine to make the third word. For example, given “The _____ of the group was extremely _____, not just physically, for he was also particularly _____”, you would fill in HEAD, STRONG, and HEADSTRONG.

The guilty _____ fitted the classic _____ for such a character, highlighted by the fact that he looked to constantly _____ his next move.

 
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5! WAY2GOJAZZZZ!

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Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.com. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.netwww.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.    Are you open to evaluate an opportunity to make some extra money?  http://strayhorn.acnrep.com.

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

Welcome, to Wednesday, January 20th!  Today the Eucman brings you things hidden in a Secret Government Warehouse…1. 100 MPG Carburetor. 2. Engine that runs on tap water. 3. The dead aliens from a crippled UFO the government captured. 4. H.G. Wells’ working time machine from “Time After Time”  5. The dinosaur skull with a bullet hole in it.  6. The Ghostbusters’ proton packs.  7. An authorization for the assassination of Norma Jean Baker. It is signed by President John F. Kennedy and is dated 4 August 1962.  8. A gun recovered from a grassy knoll in Dallas, Texas by CIA agents on 22 November 1963.  9. A large stone tablet, reconstructed from pieces, with writing on it. It is Hebrew & has Commandments 11 thru 17.  10. Papers showing that professional wrestling is real. 11. One red riding hood, slightly bloody. And in the grand tradition of saving the best for last….12. Proof that President Bush chose Quayle as his running mate to prevent future assassination attempts! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have great day people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!   
  
Quotes of the Day  
“The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.” – Sir Richard Francis Burton

“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.” – H. L. Mencken

“Spare no expense to save money on this one.” – Samuel Goldwyn

“Some scholars of ancient Hebrew are now suggesting that certain portions of the Bible could have been written centuries earlier than others. The scholars say they know this because the newer portions all begin, ‘Previously, on ‘The Bible.'” -Conan O’Brien
 
“A new study revealed that losing a few pounds prior to surgery could help reduce the risk of complications. When they heard this, Americans were like, ‘Eh, we’ll take our chances.'” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“The Golden Globes Awards are on this weekend. People say the Golden Globes is an indicator of what the Academy Awards will be: long and boring.” -David Letterman 

Joke of the Day 

The board of education in a nearby town sold off a building that had been a one-room schoolhouse. The buyer converted it to a tavern. One day an elderly man was walking by the place with his grandson and pointed to the building. “That’s where I went to school when I was your age.” 
“Really,” said the boy. “Who was your bartender back then?”     

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “You know much about the fight game? I’m the Heavyweight Champion of the World.”
Answer: About Last Night. When Debbie (Demi Moore) and Dan (Rob Lowe) decide to turn their one-night-stand into a full-fledged relationship, they find themselves faced with uncertainty, distrust, and no support from their respective friends, Joan and Bernie.  “Oh they work? Good…” is Dan’s seemingly innocent reply to Debbie when, after romantically sliding a set of double headphones on them both, she says sarcastically, “I bet these have been put to a lot of use.”
The Heavyweight Champion quote is said by Dan’s uncouth co-worker and friend, Bernie, upon meeting Debbie and her roommate, Joan. Referring to the Swallow restaurant, whose line of credit Dan was ordered to ‘cut-off’, but didn’t, his boss lays into him. A swallow is: “…a loser bird! A dodo!”

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “But we eat the same things. Like, if I have a pork-chop, she has a pork-chop, if I have a veal, she has a veal.”

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Tuesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 and these were the most memorable lyrics heard on pop radio all across America.”Song Number Five: “Roses are red, some diamonds are blue, chivalry is dead but you’re still kinda cute”. Nelly Furtado enjoyed teasing us with this smash that held the top spot in America for six weeks. Can you name the first release off her platinum-selling album “Loose”?  

ANSWER: Promiscuous. “Promiscuous” by Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland debuted at number 64 on Billboard’s Hot 100 on May 20th, 2006 and rocketed up the charts reaching number one on July 8th. Its 17 weeks in the top ten and 24 weeks in the top 40 resulted in Billboard naming it the third most popular song of 2006. The song also took off around the world hitting number one in New Zealand and the top five in Australia, Portugal, Norway, the U.K., Finland and Ireland.  Maneater” reached number 16 in 2006 for Nelly Furtado. Danity Kane had a number eight hit in 2006 with “Show Stopper”. “Material Girl” was a number two smash for Madonna in 1985.  
  

Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2006 and these were the most memorable lyrics heard on pop radio all across America.” Song Number Four: “Gettin’ born in the state of Mississippi, papa was a copper, and mama was a hippy”.  This popular tune about a woman who was “a lover, baby and a fighter” was number one on the Modern Rock chart for ten weeks. Do you recognize this worldwide smash by the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is..

Can you decipher this:

ssugarpsugarosugarosugarn
M
E
D
I
C
I
N
E   

ANSWER: A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is… 

Can you decipher this common phrase:

PICT RES

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5 AND MS. CARRIE PALOMBO! INCREDIBLE JOB LADIES!

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Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.orgww.hopeBUILD.orgwww.Eucmaninc.com. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com. www.BTWASHZPROD.com.   www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.netwww.greengrassgroundsgroup.com., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com.    Are you open to evaluate an opportunity to make some extra money?  http://strayhorn.acnrep.com.