1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.
2. Is there something I’m not getting when humans make noise with their mouths?
3. Why doesn’t the government do something about dogs?
4. I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have ULTERIOR motives?
5. Hmmm… If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why can’t we cats ever get these STUPID dogs to do anything for us?
6. This looks like a good spot for a nap.
7. Hey — no kidding, I’m sure that’s the can opener.
8. Would humans have built a vast and complex civilization of their own if we cats hadn’t given them a reason to invent sofas and can openers in the first place?
9. If there’s a God, how can He allow neutering?
10. If that really was the can opener, I’ll play finicky just to let THEM know who’s boss!
“That’s my story for today and I’m sticking to it! Have a great day people, I’ll see you NEXT YEAR! Also whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
“There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.” – Oscar Levant
“Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches per sec.” – J. Hart
“My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.” – Rita Rudner
A friend had a waitressing position open at his diner and asked job seekers to fill out an application. Under “Salary Expected,” a woman wrote “Friday.”
The highlight of our zoo trip was a peacock showing off its plumage. My four-year-old son was particularly taken with it. That evening, he couldn’t wait to tell his father: “Dad, guess what! I saw a Christmas tree come out of a chicken!”
Driving in Ohio, we spotted a sign that read, “Wildlife Refuge.” Seeing a dead deer lying in front of it, my husband shook his head. “He almost made it.”
Joke of the Day*
A couple went to pay a visit to another couple, unannounced. The wife answered the door. “Come in,” she said. The other couple came in, sat down, then asked, “So, where’s Jack?” “Oh,” replied his wife, “he’s in the bathroom, grouting and spackling.” “Oh, dear,” said the other lady, “I had that once and didn’t get over it for two weeks.”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.’ Answer: Army of Darkness.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? ‘You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.’
Wednesday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features the names of various song titles that share a word in common and are written back-to-back. This song is one of the biggest hits for The Eagles, and the next song was a hit in the late 1960’s for The Mamas and the Papas. Answer: Hotel California Dreaming. The Eagles’ album “Hotel California” was released in December of 1976, and went platinum in only one week! It was number one on the charts within a month. The Mamas and the Papas were formed in 1964, and had a hit with “California Dreaming” in 1966. However, the group’s success was short-lived, and they broke up in 1968 due to creative differences.
Thursday’s Crazy definitions, This quiz features the names of various song titles that share a word in common and are written back-to-back. What would you get if you combined a song from “The Muppet Movie” with one from “The Wizard of Oz”?
Wednesday’s Quizzler is..
A song title has been put into very fancy language. Put it back into its original form.
These individuals are totally unacquainted with each other at the time of day that is usually considered late p.m. to early a.m.
ANSWER: “Strangers in the Night.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is…
In this teaser, I have given you a 9-letter word. Your job is to break up this word into 9 separate letters and place them on the dashes to spell a 7-letter word, a 5-letter word, and a 3-letter word. You can use each letter only once.
_ N _ M _ R _
_ O _ O _
_ I _
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTERS OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5! WAY2GO JAZZZZ!
Answers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ email@example.com.
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Euclid C. Strayhorn, CMP, http://www.EucmanInc.com
We don’t stop laughing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop LAUGHING!