Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

dont-worry-about-getting-older-fb-david-av-wolfe-youre-still-4526163
WELCOME to Thursday, October 19, 2017.                  
More Oldness…….. 
OLD RADIOS never die, they just stop receiving
OLD RAILROADERS never die, they just derail
OLD RAIN PUDDLES never die, they just dry up
OLD SAILORS never die, they just get a little “DINGHY”
OLD SAILORS never die, they just lose their porpoise
OLD SALESMEN never die, they just go out of commission
OLD SCHOOLS never die, they just lose their principals
OLD SCOTS never die, but they can be kilt
OLD SCULPTORS never die, they just lose their marbles
OLD SEAMSTRESSES never die, they just come to the point
OLD SEERS never die, they just lose their vision
OLD SEWAGE WORKERS never die, they just waste away
OLD SHEETROCKERS (dry wallers) never die, they just hang around
OLD SHOES MAKERS never die, they just lose their sole
OLD SKIERS never die, but they go downhill fast
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…
“A new study finds that parents DO actually have a favorite child. The survey also finds if you have to ask – it ain’t you.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A man who ordered a television off of Amazon was shocked because Amazon instead sent him a rifle. Which means somewhere a hunter is trying to kill a deer by making it
watch ‘Real Housewives.'” -Conan O’Brien
“I’ve been trying to say ‘I love you’ more often, starting this morning. I said it to my family before I left the house. And then to my barista. And then to her manager, when the barista complained that one of the customers was making her uncomfortable.” -Stephen Colbert
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over
and asked him to settle an argument.
“Are there two pints in a quart or four?” asked one.
“There be two pints in a quart,” confirmed the proprietor.
They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order.
“Two pints please, miss, and the bartender offered to buy them for us.”
The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to
the proprietor at the other end of the bar, “You did say two pints, didn’t you?”
“That’s right,” he called back, “two pints.”😎
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
  ‘You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.’
ANSWER: The Princess Bride! 

 

Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

‘Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?’
 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Starting with a one-letter word, add a letter and rearrange the letters to produce the next word. A clue is given for each.
Maybe your car can do 0 to 60 in 10 seconds, but can you do 0 to 10 in 60 seconds? Get out the stopwatch! This one is a little easier than the previous ones …
The hint gives the starting letters of the even numbered words.
1. Roman one
2. Ratio of ‘circumference : diameter’ for circles
3. Edible homonym of #2
4. Long poem or film about heroic deeds
5. ‘There’s a _____ on his head’ (a reward)
6. Give the main points of a story
7. Contents of Cordon Bleu book
8. Money taken in from sales
9. Likely to cause the most unpleasant sensations of fear
10. Particular, belonging separately to each
ANSWER: 

1. I
2. Pi
3. Pie
4. Epic
5. Price
6. Precis
7. Recipes
8. Receipts
9. Creepiest
10. Respective

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What James Bond Movie Titles do the following represent?
1) Crystals of C R Ever Ever Ever Ever.
2) Female Sheep reincarnated just once.
3) AuDigit
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! NICE WORK BANKS! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙇
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
Advertisements

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

0b54ea99da0cd26b890140bef54bc66f--husband-wife-life-s
WELCOME to Wednesday, October 18, 2017.                  
Oldness…….. 
OLD WANTS never die, they become needs
OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just run out of time
OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just unwind
OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just wind down
OLD WEATHERMEN never die, they reign forever
OLD WHITE WATER RAFTERS never die, they just get disgorged
OLD WOOL COATS never die, they just become mothballed
OLD WRESTLERS never die, they just lose their grip
OLD YACHTSMEN never die, they just keel over
WALT DISNEY didn’t die, he’s in suspended animation
There is no conclusive evidence about what happens to old skeptics, — but their future is doubtful.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…
“The best way to keep one’s word is not to give it.”
–Napoleon Bonaparte
“Be sincere; be brief; be seated.”
–Franklin D. Roosevelt
“Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.”
–Fletcher Knebel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.
One remarked to the other, “Windy, ain’t it?”
“No,” the second man replied, “It’s Thursday.”
And the third man chimed in, “So am I. Let’s have a coke.”😎
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘Put the candle BACK!’
ANSWER: Young Frankenstein! Best comedy ever. 

 

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

 ‘You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.’

TODAY’S MOVIE DIVA OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙇

 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
What is represented by this?
Jack’s Saturday
Your Tuesday 92
Bob’s Sunday
Your Thursday 24
Jill’s Wednesday
Your Friday 70
Alison’s Monday
ANSWER: Your days are numbered.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Starting with a one-letter word, add a letter and rearrange the letters to produce the next word. A clue is given for each.
Maybe your car can do 0 to 60 in 10 seconds, but can you do 0 to 10 in 60 seconds? Get out the stopwatch! This one is a little easier than the previous ones …
The hint gives the starting letters of the even numbered words.
1. Roman one
2. Ratio of ‘circumference : diameter’ for circles
3. Edible homonym of #2
4. Long poem or film about heroic deeds
5. ‘There’s a _____ on his head’ (a reward)
6. Give the main points of a story
7. Contents of Cordon Bleu book
8. Money taken in from sales
9. Likely to cause the most unpleasant sensations of fear
10. Particular, belonging separately to each
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

e522597df60d20b2a80e32f543877a91WELCOME to Tuesday, October 17, 2017.                  
Retirement Humor Two……..
OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goal
OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just lose their kick
OLD SOLDIERS never die, they just fade away
OLD SOLDIERS never die, they just smell that way
OLD SOLDIERS never die, young ones do
OLD SOURDOUGHS never die, they just ferment away
OLD SPELUNKERS never die, they just cave in
OLD STEELMAKERS never die, they just lose their temper
OLD STUDENTS never die, they just get degraded
OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just fall off their blocks
OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just have a stroke
OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just kick-off
OLD SYSTEM USERS never die, they just chdir to NULL
OLD TANNERS never die, they just go into hiding
OLD TAPE DISPENSERS never die, they just get used up
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…
Every man desires to live long, but no man desires to be old – Jonathan Swift (paraphrased)
Old age is always fifteen years older than I am – Oliver Wendell Holmes
Men do not quit playing because they grow old — they grow old because they quit playing – Oliver Wendell Holmes
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young – Theodore Roosevelt
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest – Larry Lorenzoni
There is still no cure for the common birthday – John Glenn
If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself – Anonymous
Age is a high price to pay for maturity – Tom Stoppard
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act – Truman Capote
You’re only as old as you feel – Anonymous
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
You know you’re getting older when…
Everything that works hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.
You feel like the morning after, and you haven’t been anywhere.
Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.
Your mind makes contracts your body can’t keep.
You look forward to a dull evening.
Your knees buckle and your belt won’t.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.’
ANSWER:  Army of Darkness!

 

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

‘Put the candle BACK!’
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you figure out these common expressions?
1. The second letter of the alphabet + the opposite of more + a female sheep
2. The 16th letter of the alphabet + to rent
3. A stinging insect + to dig ore out of the ground
4. Former + sticks used for pool + not you
ANSWER: 1. Bless you  2. Please   3. Be Mine    4. Excuse Me

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
What is represented by this?
Jack’s Saturday
Your Tuesday 92
Bob’s Sunday
Your Thursday 24
Jill’s Wednesday
Your Friday 70
Alison’s Monday
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS, MS. ANDREA L. BANKS AND MS. KIM HILLYARD! 🙇🙇🙇🙇🙌🙌🙌🙌
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

135a0d15f2f910e29d5714d19ba6e054
WELCOME to Monday, October 16, 2017.                  
Retirement Humor……..
OLD FOOTBALL PLAYERS never die, they just go to the end zone
OLD FOOTBALLERS never die, they just kick the bucket
OLD FORESTERS never die, they just pine away
OLD FRIDGE REPAIRMEN never die, they just blow their cool
OLD FROGS never die, they just croak
OLD FRUIT never die, it just pear-ishes
OLD GARAGEMEN never die, they just retire😎
OLD GEOLOGISTS never die, they just recrystalize
OLD GHOST TOWNS never die, they become desolate
OLD GOLFERS never die, they just lose their drive
OLD GRAPHIC ARTISTS never die, they just de-rez
OLD GYMNASTS never die, they just take longer to mount
OLD HAMS never die, they just get grounded
OLD HARDWARE ENGINEERS never die, they just cache in their chips
OLD HELSINKI TOURISTS never die, they just vanish into Finn Air
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 
“Researchers have published a letter from a Harvard student in 1743 asking his parents
for money. On the bright side, just this year his student loans were finally paid off.” -Conan O’Brien
“Indonesia’s anti-drug chief is proposing that the country put narcotics offenders in a jail on an island surrounded by crocodiles. The plan is to send the inmates food supplies every day but they will have to survive on their own. This already sounds like a reality TV show I would totally watch.” -James Corden
“New research has found that contrary to popular belief, it could be beneficial for women to eat and drink while in labor. Though I don’t think the other people in the restaurant would be too happy about it.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
While I was dining out with my children, a friend of my neighbor, who recognized us, came over to our table, and we started talking. He asked where my kids go to school. I told him we homeschooled them. With a raised eyebrow, he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner for our family. I said, “No, I also work… but out of our home.”
Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born in. “He was born at home,” I answered. The man looked at me and said, “You don’t get out much, do you?” 😐
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘Dead or alive, you are coming with me.’
ANSWER: Robocop! Great action film from the 80s. 

 

Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

‘Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.’
 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher this rebus?
Cluck Cluck
Quack Quack
Gobble Gobble
ANSWER: Foul (Fowl) Language

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you figure out these common expressions?
1. The second letter of the alphabet + the opposite of more + a female sheep
2. The 16th letter of the alphabet + to rent
3. A stinging insect + to dig ore out of the ground
4. Former + sticks used for pool + not you
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙇🙇🙇🙇🙌🙌🙌🙌
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

b44477e9c7f90be7571da39375aa5240
WELCOME to Friday, October 13, 2017.                 
Really Bad Weekend  Punography…..
Daughter: „Mom, can I get a cat or a dog at Christmas, please?“
Mom: No honey, you will be getting turkey, like every Christmas!“
My socks got really holy. I can only wear them to church.
Whenever I undress in the bathroom, my shower gets turned on.
If you spent your day in a well, can you say your day was well-spent?
I Googled “how to start a wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.
A patient bursts into a doctor’s office, “Doctor, I believe I’m a deck of cards!”
The doctor calmly replies, “Go sit in the waiting room, please, I’ll be dealing with you later.”
A Spanish magician has a grand magical show and at the end he says he will disappear after counting to three. He starts to count, “Un, dos…” Kazaam! He vanished without a tres.
A guy was admitted to hospital with 8 plastic horses in his stomach. His condition is now stable.
Why did the balloon go near the needle? He wanted to be a pop star.😐
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
 I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party but I guess my plans were foiled.
Which country’s capital is the fastest growing? Ireland’s. -Every year it’s Dublin.😎
Never date cross eyed people. They might be seeing somebody on the side!
Apparently taking a day off is not something you should do when you work for a calendar company.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 
If at first you don’t succeed . . . so much for skydiving. Henny Youngman
“If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side.” Stuart Turner“
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?“Bill Murray
“Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go ‘you know, I’m not as hungry as thought I was’?” Tim VineI
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. Oscar Wilde
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, “At my age,
I don’t even buy green bananas.” Claude Pepper
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. George Burns
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Late one night a robber wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. “Give me your money,” he demanded. Scandalized, the man replied, “You can’t do this – I’m a US Congressman!” “Oh! In that case,” smiled the robber, “Give me MY money!” 😁
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘Sanka, you dead?’
ANSWER: Cool Runnings! After their bobsled crashes, one of the other team members asks Sanka this question. His reply? “Yes”.

 

Fridays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

‘Dead or alive, you are coming with me.’
 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Each of the following clues refers to a word that begins with “ten”. Can you guess all ten of them?
1. Inclination
2. Delicate or gentle
3. A sinew
4. A racket game
5. Capable of being stretched
6. Between the bass and alto
7. Stretched tight
8. Unsubstantial
9. A dwelling
10. An opinion held to be true.
ANSWER: 1. Tendency  2. Tender  3. Tendon  4. Tennis  5. Tensile  6. Tenor  7. Tense  8. Tenuous  9. Tenement or Tent  10. Tenet

Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher this rebus?
Cluck Cluck
Quack Quack
Gobble Gobble
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙇🙇🙇🙇🙌
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

when-that-first-cup-of-coffee-touches-your-soul-6875814
WELCOME to Thursday, October 12, 2017.                 
Steven Wright………….. 
I wrote a few children’s books… Not on purpose.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
I installed a skylight in my apartment…. The people who live above me are furious!
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store… With a pricing gun… She said, “Give me all of the money in the vault, or I’m marking down everything in the store.”
While I was gone, somebody rearranged all the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in *exactly* the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: “Do I know you?”
In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, “Cut it out.”
Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I’d be the only one who knew. People come over and I’m gonna say, “Go ahead, touch it… It feels real.”
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above… So I never have to go upstairs.
One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 
“The federal government is starting to plan for climate change by making extended forecasts that can help people plan for extreme weather – because what can go wrong when you combine the efficiency of government with the accuracy of weathermen?” -Jimmy Fallon
“Scientists in northern California and Oregon found that marijuana gardens are threatening the salmon population. I don’t see the problem, really. Everyone loves baked salmon.” -Seth Meyers
“Archaeologists believe they have found the tomb of St. Nicholas beneath an ancient church in Turkey. St. Nicholas, of course, is the basis for the legend of Santa Claus. And they think they found him. Which means now when my son asks me if Santa is real, I can confidently say, ‘Yes! He is dead though. That’s why you didn’t get that bike.'” -James Corden
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.
He asked his father, “How does this boat float?”
The father thought for a moment, then replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”
The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, “How do fish breathe underwater?”
Once again the father replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”
A little later the boy asked his father, “Why is the sky blue?”
Again, the father replied. “Don’t rightly know, son.”
Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, “Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?”
“Of course not, son. If you don’t ask questions, you’ll never learn anything!”😐😱
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘Happy New Year…in this country we say HAPPY New Year.’
ANSWER: Trading Places! This is said by Clarence Beeks, getting after Eddie Murphy’s character for saying ‘Merry New Year.’ 

 

Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

‘Sanka, you dead?’
 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What is strange about the words in the group below, apart from the fact that they are all four letters long?
NEAR
LAME
ARMS
CAME
DEAL
GAIN
WINE
SCAR
HIND
ANSWER: The words are made up entirely of abbreviations for states in the United States of America.

NE AR
LA ME
AR MS
CA ME
DE AL
GA IN
WI NE
SC AR
HI ND
AL = Alabama
AR = Arkansas
CA = California
DE = Delaware
GA = Georgia
HI = Hawaii
IN = Indiana
LA = Louisiana
ME = Maine
MS = Mississippi
ND = North Dakota
NE = Nebraska
SC = South Carolina
WI = Wisconsin

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Each of the following clues refers to a word that begins with “ten”. Can you guess all ten of them?
1. Inclination
2. Delicate or gentle
3. A sinew
4. A racket game
5. Capable of being stretched
6. Between the bass and alto
7. Stretched tight
8. Unsubstantial
9. A dwelling
10. An opinion held to be true.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

232440-Its-Only-Wednesday
WELCOME to Wednesday, October 11, 2017.                
Rita Rudner’s Facts About Men………….
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks
he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband’s early films end with a scream and a flush.
Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of “rich” usually cancels out the nice of “bald”.
Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
If it’s attention you want, don’t get involved with a man during play-off season.
Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.
The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
Don’t try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.
All men hate to hear “We need to talk about our relationship.” These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.
Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become
happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and
then she stops to breathe. – Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential foodgroups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. – Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. – Rodney Dangerfield
Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. – Spike Milligan
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow’s ear. The farmer didn’t think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.😌
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
  ‘Yes, we play football…I believe you people call it soccer.’
ANSWER: Coming to America! The main character, Akeem, quotes this during a
basketball game when asked what sports they play in Africa. 

 

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??   

 ‘Happy New Year…in this country we say HAPPY New Year.’
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
The following clues give definitions for world capitals. These definitions describe what the capitals (just the city) sound like they would mean.
1) This capital is a recently opened store for cooked meats.
2) This capital is plant-covered bovine.
3) This capital is a tool used for fighting.
4) This capital is a royal weight.
5) This capital is a cheer for a body of water.
6) This capital is the legendary vehicle graveyard.
7) This capital is something that annoys a religious figure.
8) This capital is a basic digit.
9) This capital is something you get from the sun.
10) This capital is a score for a ringer.
ANSWER: 1) New Delhi (New Deli), India  2) Moscow (Moss Cow), Russia  3) Warsaw (War Saw), Poland  4) Kingston (King’s Ton), Jamaica

5) Beirut (Bay Root), Lebanon  6) Khartoum (Car Tomb), Sudan  7) Budapest (Buddha Pest), Hungary  8) Quito (Key Toe), Ecuador
9) Bern (Burn), Switzerland  10) Belgrade (Bell Grade), Serbia and Montenegro

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What is strange about the words in the group below, apart from the fact that they are all four letters long?
NEAR
LAME
ARMS
CAME
DEAL
GAIN
WINE
SCAR
HIND
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/